Zoya-isms

Zoya is pretty funny these days with all she has to say! As her speech continues to grow, we get to understand a bit more about what she's thinking! Also, as her speech improves EVERYONE ELSE gets to hear what she's thinking..........minus the filter! She just says whatever is on her mind and truly thinks if she just adds a "please" or "sorry" nothing she says could possibly be rude if she uses her manners too....right? "Move please!" or "No singing Daddy! I don't like singing please!"  My favorite is when we tell her to do something she doesn't want to (like when it's time for bed, or time to leave something fun)...her usual response is "No thank you please." Or if she's having fun and it's time to go to school, or to go back home, she usually says, "I don't like it (school/home, etc)....I'm sorry!" She throws all the pleasantries in there hoping she can butter us up enough that we'll forget our request and give into her ways! HAHA!

And then there's times she doesn't even bother with the pleasantries! Mila was whining up a storm and Zoya looked at her totally annoyed and said, "Mila, WHAT is your PROBLEM?" Total fast-forward to teenage years!

She's also starting to use phrases that she hears often, such as, "Just wait one second please!" (guilty, and she's giving it right back to me now!). The other day I asked her if she liked her dinner and she said, "It's not too bad." HA, well thank you! She is constantly telling her sisters, "Great Job!" for anything and everything they do (so sweet!) The other one I'm hearing a lot of lately is, "Let's try it" or "Well, we can try it." I tell her this all the time when she doesn't want to try something new, or if she tells me she doesn't have to go potty. I'll say, "Well, let's try." The only problem is, our conversation usually goes something like this:

Zoya: Mama! Play with babies!

Me: Sorry sweetie, it's time for bed. 

Zoya: Let's try it! Yah, try it babies! 

or

Zoya: Go eat! Tables and chairs (asking to eat at a restaurant)

Me: Not tonight, we have to get home and eat with Daddy and Mila and Sofia!

Zoya: Yah, let's try it tables and chairs, okay, just try it!

I must say she really does try pretty hard to get what she wants! She's also trying to bargain now too! The other night it was time for bed and she said, "Watch Marmaduke Mama!" And I told her it was too late to start a long movie and so she said, "Ipad! 5 minutes!" I admit, I gave into that one! She is very sly with her bargaining skills too! Shawn told her it was time for bed one time and she said, "Watch football with Daddy!" as she batted her long eyelashes. How do you say no to THAT?! Last night I put Mila and Sofia to bed and had planned to let Zoya stay up a little later (but she didn't know that). She clearly thought she was going to have to go to bed next, as usual, so she said, "Do work with Mama?" She ASKED to "do work" (sight words, reading, math-whatever we're working on as goals) and yes, I also gave in to that request HAHA! 

(We call this her "Ukrainian Babushka Face")

Yesterday morning she asked for a popsicle for breakfast. She had gotten use to getting to eat whatever she wanted whenever after her recent tonsil/adenoidectomy. I told her no popsicles for breakfast, but if she had a good day at school she could have one when she got home. I said to her, "You need to stay in your spot at circle time and not run all around the room!" (which I had heard was a problem recently) She got really big eyes and I said, "Yup! Mama knows about that!!" She said, "Oooooooo, Mama's watching!" I laughed out loud...but what do ya know, she had a GREAT day! On the way to the car after school I told her that I was so proud of her for having such an awesome day at school. She climbed in her carseat and said, "No bad choices!" I said, "You're right! You made really good choices today! I'm SO proud of you!" Then she grinned from ear to ear so proud of herself and that's when I saw yellow paint all over her lips and teeth!!! I said, "Did you eat paint at school today?" She looked down and said, "Oh yah! Okay, bad choice!" BUSTED! 

How did I get so lucky to be Mama to this perfect child?! She's funny, and silly, and confident and speaks her mind in a way I wish I could! I love her contagious zest for life and her amazing free spirit! And just to prove to you how much I'm learning from my sweet girl....I'd normally not post a picture of myself in foils, but when I look at these pictures I see just how much zest and fun and pure happiness she has brought to MY life! To those of you who say SHE is the lucky one to have me for a mama, you couldn't be more wrong! I, without a doubt, am far luckier to have her in my life than she is to have me in hers! 

Happy Down Syndrome Awareness Month....Take 3!!

Love, Mila 

Happy Down Syndrome Awareness Month!

Love, Sofia

Happy Down Syndrome Awareness Month!!!

Happiness

Update: Mila

I'm going to blog about each of the girls separately starting with Miss Mila, ONLY because I have the funniest video ever of her from last night and I want to share it! She keeps us laughing and is definitely the class clown in the family! I grabbed my phone real quick while we were eating dinner last night as I watched this unfold......

(I think blogger is having a problem with videos, working on getting them to play!)

Most kids feed the food they don't want to the dog....Mila's learned she's not allowed to do that so I guess she thought she'd try feeding it to Sofia ;) Apparently Mila didn't like her dinner, or maybe she just wanted to share with Sofia! Either way, she knew she was caught in the act, but tried to smooth it over! 

You can see how she tries to get out of trouble by being funny as well! How could I possible not laugh?

She has all of a sudden decided she is ready to walk like her sisters! She is consistently taking 5-6 steps from her chair or from a standing position and is getting closer to starting to take 7-10 steps more consistently! She is able to push to standing from the middle of the floor and take 3-4 steps now and she's learning to put her arms out to catch herself when she falls instead of diving face first!!! We are SO very proud of her. After hearing some specialists say she may never walk without the use of a walker, you can imagine how excited we are as we experience every single step with her! I can just hear her saying, "Oh ya? that's what you think? I'll show YOU!" We're still using her walker for long distances because she tires VERY quickly. Her goal right now is to build up endurance. With such low muscle tone it really takes a lot out of her to even take those 7-10 steps, or to walk in her walker for a few minutes. 

She is starting to "talk" more. We're using a "total communication" approach with her, which means we are teaching signs, spoken words, and using PECS (a separate blog post coming about that). She calls appropriately for mama and dada, says "more," makes dog, duck, cow, and cat noises, says "beep beep" for car, and has a word approximation for "help." She's starting to initiate her own play activities more frequently and calling for us to help her with a toy when needed. She's starting to use more and more signs. Her favorite lately seems to be "go" when we stop during our walks or stop at a red light! I walked into her room and saw her signing all the words to one of her favorite signing time songs (it was playing on CD)...when I asked her to show me she refused! That is how she earned the nickname "Ninjabean" from my friend Jo! She's able to feed herself a small meal with a fork and is doing pretty well with her spoon too (it's just REALLY REALLY messy!!!). 

Her new favorite game for the past few weeks is to pop up in her crib as I'm getting her room ready for bedtime. She pops right up after I lay her down, throws out her binky and just LAUGHS hysterically! I run over and tickle her and she burries her face in the pillow, repeat (as many times as I allow haha). She has the girliest laugh and most high pitch scream I've ever heard, too! I just love her little personality. 

She gives THE BEST hugs and snuggles too, every single time I hold her. It doesn't get any better than a hug from this sweet chunky love! Speaking of chunky.....Mila is nowhere on the down syndrome growth charts, and it toward the top of the typical charts these days! She is 31 pounds and 36 inches (which puts her only 6 pounds and 6 inches under her FIVE year old sister!) Can you believe our tiny 7 pound baby girl is now at the other end of the charts? I love her fat baby legs, but as she's moving more I can already start to see her slimming down and losing some of that baby fat......good news is she has a lot left to go :) 

We were sad to find out her eye surgery was not successful :( They did muscle surgery to try and help her from "posturing" which I posted about before. Basically she tips her head way back to get her nystagmus to stop so she can see clearly. This is her "null point." The surgery attempted to change her null point so that her head posture was in a more natural position. We were informed that about 25% of kids need a second surgery to completely correct the problem but were also told we'd most likely see a ton of improvement after just one surgery. At first we thought we saw some improvement because she wasn't posturing as much to watch TV, then we realized she wasn't doing that because she couldn't see much-she was having some swelling due to an allergic reaction from the ointment :( So she has another appointment in a couple of months to discuss a second surgery :( 

 Waiting for surgery....

These were apparently the smallest socks they had and she HAD to wear them they said, okay then! I guess they double as pants! 

Clowning around! 

 Not so fun! 

Poor dolly babe....this was, to date, her easiest surgery....figures it didn't work LOL! 

And if you notice Mila rockin' some cool purple headphones and mama's old school iPod, it's an attempt to meet her auditory sensory seeking and decrease her whining.....first quiet Target trip with Mila..... :) 

We've been busy with lots of therapies. We're in the final "6 months until she's 3 and ages out of early intervention" stretch and have added and increased some of her therapies to really give her as much as we can during these last 6 months. When she turns 3 the only way she will get services is if we enroll her in preschool. Having a March birthday, we're not sure we'll send her that late in the school year....we always have the option of outpatient therapies through our insurance, as well, but the in home therapies are just so nice! I'm going to be taking her and Sofia to a mommy and me dance class once a week and I think they're going to love it! 

Here's a picture of Mila with Uncle Bub and his AWESOME SHIRT! My friend took this picture of Mila pouting on the playground and Bub had it made into a shirt...so funny! Equally as awesome is Mila picking her nose in this photo. 

And clearly Daddy has been letting them watch WWF...well okay, he was at work when this pictures was taken, and I might have encouraged their craziness by laughing right along with them.....Sofia has no idea what's about to hit her hahaha!

(when you can stand from the middle of the couch, it must be counted as "therapy" and so I couldn't tell her to behave and stop jumping on the couch! P.S. no babies were harmed)

I continually look back on our journey to Mila and on how the Lord filled us in at the very last minute with details about her health and needs and just how sick she was. I know, for a fact, had we known that before meeting her, we'd have run the other way. Oh it breaks my heart thinking of life without her....I'm so thankful the Lord knows our hearts best and that His plans are better than anything we could ever imagine! Having been through all of her surgeries, sleepless nights, health scares, wondering if she'd even LIVE, well all that has bonded us to this beautiful child in ways that most people can't understand, unless they've lived it. I find myself trying to imagine preschool and letting her go a little more as she grows up, and I just can't imagine. Even though she's our middle child, she'll always be my baby....

Up next.....an overdue Sofia update......she IS turning TWO in less than a week, ya know! OH MY! 

Sticks and Stones...

It's been a while since I sat down and did a "pour your heart out" blog post. Life with 3 children 5 and under is BUSY! Most days when I sit down at the end of the night my brain is mush and has completely run out of juice to write any coherent thoughts down. But we're still here, living each day one at a time....trying our best to give our girls the life we promised we would give them!

This strange thing has been happening lately. Moreso than usual. And I am still processing it all as I write this. I'm not a very confrontational person, AT ALL. In fact, my dad used to call me a "round-abouter" when I was younger. Even when I played Nintendo (I guess that dates me now, huh?) I never wanted to fight the bad guys, I preferred to just jump over them and go on my merry way, and most of the time it worked just fine! When it comes to confrontation, I'm an all or nothing person...I have no middle ground. I either shy away from the issue and sit on my thoughts, later wishing I would have had enough courage to stand up for what's right, or I go all out "Totally-Lose-Your-Cool-Mama-Bear" on people and then feel bad about that too. Since becoming a mom, I've definitely had more of the "lose your cool" moments and they're always over issues that involve my girls. All you moms reading this know what I mean when I say that Mama Bear Fury can rise up in you faster than lightening.

Anyways....lately we've endured some comments regarding our children that make my skin crawl. I've NEVER had a thick skin, it's a fault of mine. I'm too sensitive and defensive, this I know....but I feel like I'm justified in feeling upset when hearing some of these things. There are two groups of people, the first being those who say nasty things knowingly and because they are intolerant of differences. This is not the group of people I'm talking about...honestly those people are few and far between and I have no problem speaking my mind to those people because clearly their intentions are to hurt. But it seems to me there is a huge growing group of people-many professionals-who just don't seem to have the first clue about how talk to adoptive parents and/or parents of children with special needs.

I hesitate to even blog about this because I never want to come off as the chick who people feel like they can't say anything around in fear of hurting her feelings or in fear that they'll "say the wrong thing." But I feel that doctors, psychologists, school personnel, and other professionals should be held to a higher standard than your average Joe Schmo in knowing how to sensitively and respectfully speak to parents (in the presence of the children) about adoption and special needs related issues.

Imagine sitting down with a professional who is evaluating your child, with your child beside you, when this professional asks, "what happened to her real parents?" Say WHAT? Okay, I get that he needs that information for his report or to understand her situation better (maybe), but something as simple as "do you have any information on the biological parents?" would have been MUCH better to ask. Upon hearing this question, I turned my attention to Zoya, so sad she had to hear that (even if she didn't fully understand what he was saying). I looked back at him, sort of tilting my head to the left and squinching one eye almost closed while wrinkling my nose, because hearing that was worse than nails on a chalk board. It literally sent shivers up my spine. "Real parents" infers that we're somehow not real or not actually parents. I gently corrected him by saying, "We have very little information on her biological parents" (and then shared the little we had). He went on to ask if the three girls were blood related, which we get asked a lot. When I answered "no" he said, "Okay so they are half sisters then." He must have read the look on my face because he quickly changed that to, "I mean step sisters!" I kindly told him we consider them simply sisters and we'd never tell them they are step sisters to one another. I tried hard to remind myself he was compiling a report and needed technical details (or did he?). The rest of the meeting was really weird. I never said anything because he was a really nice guy. He had no idea his words cut so deep, completely clueless. Then when I got home from the second meeting with a copy of the report and read that Shawn and I were referenced as "her current caregivers" rather than parents, I felt shocked and sad. Half of you reading this will say that is not a big deal and there's no reason to be upset over that, and the other half will be as outraged as I was. We've worked DAMN HARD to earn the title "parents."  Please don't call us caregivers.  I've never heard of this in any other report for my children or for friends' children. Zoya is young enough now that she would never read this report, and maybe not understand the words that were said at that meeting, but I swear to you if these type of comments continue much longer in front of her I'm not going to be so graceful. It says to me that those professionals don't think she is capable of understanding what is being said about her and frankly, it pisses me off.

Imagine sitting at the doctor with your newly adopted child while the doctor asks repeatedly if we knew she had down syndrome when we adopted her because he can't wrap his mind around why we would do that. This question is the worst because it infers that she is not worthy of the life we hope to give her...the life we so deeply feel she is worthy of! Imagine going in for a sick child visit, seeing a different doctor than usual, and watching him flounder his way through trying to figure out if we currently know our daughter has Down Syndrome....because clearly, if we adopted her, we must not know that. The good old, "you are saints to adopt those children" also usually punches me right in the gut. The list goes on.....I never want Zoya or Mila or Sofia hearing this or feeling like we did them a favor and they are in debt to us, and this type of comment would surely elicit those thoughts. Zoya's getting to an age where she is starting to understand a lot more, so maybe that's why I've been more sensitive to these types of comments lately. I have this fierce need to protect my children from all things that could cause them hurt. I know I can't protect them from everything, but I'll tell you this much....I'll die trying!

When posting some of these things on facebook, some were outraged (even more than I was), while others felt I should have been more graceful (and maybe that meant not posting it on facebook?). I try my hardest to be graceful with comments such as these, especially when people say them out of ignorance and not out of hate. BUT, day after day of similar comments starts to break me, my tolerance level waxes and wanes based on the type of day I'm having because I'm human. I do often take time and share our girls stories with people whom I think would be touched by them because I believe their stories have power to change people....I've seen it happen many times. We'd be silly not to use this God-ordained story to bring glory to Him. BUT as their Mama, it's also my job to protect them. I wish I was better at letting some of these professionals know how their comments hurt me and my children. Instead, I stir over it wishing I'd have said something when I had the chance. My plea to those reading this is not to always try and be politically correct...that's not what this is about....my plea is to remember that words carry A LOT of weight, so please choose them carefully.

Here's a new twist on the old "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me."

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will make me go in a corner 

and cry by myself for hours." Eric Idle (haha kidding) 

"Sticks and stones may break my bones 

but words can shatter my soul." 

Before and After

I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love. 

Mother Teresa

More Life Lessons from My Wise 3 Year Old...

I've said it a million times...when I grow up I want to be like Zoya. She is so wise beyond her years in so many ways. She get is....this game of life that the rest of us are still trying to figure out.

Make Someone's Day Brighter:
She knows how to snap me out of a bad mood instantly by calling, "mama" (in a very specific lovey tone) and waiting for my eyes to meet hers and then flashing me the biggest, toothiest grin she can must up...and she doesn't stop smiling until I muster up a smile myself. And she knows if I'm faking it!

Live in The Moment:
She knows how to live in the moment...like tonight when we were at the store and she found an Elmo and Big Bird t-shirt she just loved sooo much. She immediately tried to take off the shirt she was wearing (in the middle of the store) to put that shirt on right then and there! That girl wasn't gonna waste a second...because she knows life is precious and why put off 'til tomorrow what you can do today? And if you're wondering, yes I bought her the shirt and she is wearing it to school tomorrow because I've never seen her so excited about a piece of clothing before!

Make the Best of What You're Given:
She knows how to turn a dull moment into a party....like when I handed her the new potty seat I was buying for her to have at school....and she sat in the cart pretending the potty seat was a wheel, making car noises and tilting the "wheel" side to side (okay so she might know how to drive a little bit...maybe I let her sit on my lap and drive up and down the driveway....she sure knows how to put that baby in reverse!...no lectures please, we were in the driveway going less than one mile per hour...ha!)

Don't Put Off Letting Others Know How Much You Love Them:
She knows not to leave feelings unspoken...every day she gives us at least a dozen hugs and even more kisses and many "I love you's" just out of the blue (even if she does sound like scooby doo...I know what she's saying and it melts my heart).

Encourage Others:
She knows it makes other people feel good when you praise and encourage them.  So I might never go potty again without having a round of applause from Zoya...but she sure knows how to encourage!

Take Pride in Your Accomplishments:
She knows she should be proud of herself because I can see that pride written all over her face when she accomplishes a new task or meets a new milestone, even if it takes her twice as long as everyone else. Like tonight when she strung together FIVE words that went like this "More, I want that, pretzels" (sounded like "mooo-ah, I oooooott dat pehpeh" She wanted more pretzels and she got them! When I cheered for her words a smile the size of Texas spread across her sweet face.

Dance to Life's Music:
She knows when music is playin' there's no other choice than to dance. At the first hint of music her little but starts swaying and her fingers start snapping and her head starts bobbing side to side. I don't think this girl can help herself when the music starts playing. Her life story, from orphan to cherished daughter is an intricately choreographed dance that she has perfected.  She finds beauty in each moment...she dances her way through whether that moment be high or low.

I still have so much left to learn....and thus far my beautiful daughter has been my best teacher.