Therapeutic Listening

Has anyone ever heard of this? At the recommendation of Zoya's Occupational Therapist, we started this program with Zoya about a week ago. Therapeutic Listening (TL) helps with Sensory Integration issues, which many kids with down syndrome have, and also many kids from orphanages have. Put down syndrome and orphanage together and you get a lot of sensory integration issues (at least Zoya does). TL is an auditory intervention that uses "organized sound patterns inherent in music to impact all levels of the nervous system." Zoya listens to specially designed CDs that almost sound like a broken or scratched record. The CDs vary in musical style and some have common kid songs that we all know, but they sound different than what we are used to hearing. The music is electronically altered with the goal of setting up one's body for sustained attention and active listening. Zoya has to listen to these CDs twice a day for 30 minutes at a time. She has to listen to the CDs through special headphones that make her look like a DJ from a club in NYC! Interestingly enough, she doesn't try much to take them off, and has gotten used to keeping them on for this therapy. Most children who do TL use this protocol for 6 months on average. This program is used in conjunction with other sensory activities, known as the sensory diet.
Some things that TL is supposed to help with, and things that Zoya is currently having difficulty with are:

*Background Noise Filtering (Zoya gets very distracted with the slightest background noises)
*Tolerance of low frequency sounds (Zoya has difficulty and anxiety when hearing the vacuum cleaner, blender, hair dryer, and other things that make that same sound frequency. This has improved some since being home).
*Sound Sensitivity (we found out from Zoya's hearing screening that she has superhero hearing and hears sounds that I could not hear and that most of us do not hear).
*Attention and Focus (since we met Zoya this has been an area of difficulty. We have seen HUGE HUGE gains since coming home, but it continues to be an area of difficulty. We want to help Zoya in this area as much as possible so her ability to learn isn't impacted by her attention difficulties).
*Vestibular Processing (Zoya does not like to swing, to be on a carousel, or be tipped upside down where her feet are higher than her head. She has difficulties with certain movements but mostly those that include movement without holding onto mommy or daddy, and movement where she is tipped backward even with mommy and daddy).
*Inability to Sit Still (Zoya does not like to be in one place for long, and when she is sitting still and even sleeping, parts of her body are almost always moving! We have seen lots of progress here as well and hope the TL will continue to help in this area).
*Impulsivity

Some other areas TL is said to help, but that do not currently affect Zoya, are:
*Touch Processing
*Tantrums/Behaviors
*Tactile Hypersensitivity
*Eye Contact
*Feeding Issues/Oral Texture/temperature difficulties
*Insomnia/Sleeplessness

So far we have noticed some changes with Zoya, mostly when she is actually listening to the CDs. She will get into a trance-like state at times and appear very very relaxed while listening to the CDs (which by the way make my skin crawl at times from all the different pitches and tones!). She is able to focus more on tasks while she is listening to the CDs. She is also doing better in very overstimulating places (like church, and the zoo). That might be due to the TL or maybe just do to having more opportunities to get familiar with these places. After about a week of listening to the CDs, we started to see even more changes with Zoya. The biggest change we saw was in her vestibular processing. She all of a sudden has almost no opposition to being tipped backward or upside down! She was even signing "more" when Shawn was tipping her backwards off the couch! We couldn't believe it! She is also doing much better with low frequency sounds such as the hair dryer and vacuum. While I was drying my hair the other day, instead of whining and making ugly faces and getting anxious and reaching out for me to pick her up, Zoya actually laid down on the floor and rested her head there for a few minutes and then just crawled around the floor happily for the remainder of the time! We will continue to do the TL and hope to see even more changes in Zoya! Here are a couple cute pics of her with the very large headphone on! We always do the TL in her highchair usually during breakfast and dinner. We have to have her stationary when she listens because her head is so small and the headphones are so big that if she moves they fall off.

And the calm daze I was talking about....

You can see Zoya doing her TL here. She is also using some signs in the video. Her version of "fishies" cracks me up. She wiggles her little thumb, too cute! You can also see her get very calm and in her daze that I talked about, and then start dancing and laughing. You can also see when she touches her headphones and I say, "if you touch you will sit" and she points with her hand. This cracks me up because when we were starting time out with her I would say "no touch or you sit" and then I'd point at her time out chair. Well now whereever we are, if she is doing something she isn't supposed to be, whether or not I warn her, she will do this pointing thing like, "I know, if I do this I have to sit, right?" I also think it's funny at one point she is signing "fish" and I don't acknowledge it so she looks at her hand signing fishies like, "is this thing broken?"

Just Sayin'

I just have to say that right in this moment I'm feeling like the luckiest mama alive. Nothing out of the ordinary happened to make me feel like this, and most of the time I feel lucky to be Zoya's mama, but tonight....tonight I feel lucky to the point of feeling unworthy of deserving such a great child to share my life with. Really, how did we get so lucky? She is a rock star who loves life more than I knew anyone could ever love life. Her smile is infectious. Her laughter has filled out hearts with so many happy memories that I cringe at the thought of having lived so many days without her in my life. She is the perfect daughter. I can't think of one single thing I'd change about who she is! Thank you God for this gift!  Feeling so grateful tonight....

Stuck

I have to share this video, you probably won't think it's as funny as I thought it was while it was happening...but I still crack up watching it. I guess this is how you know when your baby is too big for her bumbo seat! Although Zoya doesn't seem to mind toting around the extra weight (that looks like a plastic butt glued to her with her tiny legs coming out!) Ahhh I remember the days Zoya would sit in her bumbo seat for minutes at a time....LOL. One of the three words we were given in Zoya's profile was "active" and that sure hasn't changed!!

Light and My Grandpa

During our 5 weeks in Ukraine, I felt God's presence more than any other time in my life. He showed himself to us in so many different ways.  I miss feeling that presence. I know the reason I felt His presence more during this time than any other time in my life is because I sought it out. I prayed almost non stop during our entire time there. Now I'm lucky if I can squeeze in a prayer here and there between the happily busy days life has brought to us.  During our time in Ukraine, I invited God into every second of my day because I knew I could not get through even one day without Him. It was easier to be close to God during the time in Ukraine because all daily distractions, along with comforts, were stripped from us. We had lots of time to "detox" from our busy day-to-day routine of life in comfortable America. We had many times of quiet unease (at first), which turned into quiet peace and a chance to experience God's arms wrapped tightly around us, even during the times when things seemed to be falling apart.

One way we experienced God's love was through the presence of my Grandfather. My Grandfather passed away on March 14, 2008. My Grandfather and I had a very special relationship and his passing was very difficult for me. The night he passed away, before I got the news, I had just fallen asleep and had a dream that my Grandfather was rising up to heaven but stopped on his way up to tell me how much he loved me. I woke from the dream, to a phone call from my Dad telling me my Grandpa had just passed away.  I wasn't surprised that my Grandpa stopped to say goodbye on his way to heaven. For the next year, I would feel my Grandpa's presence at the weirdest times. Sometimes I would dream about him, and wake up thinking I had really just talked to him and hugged him because it felt so real. Other times I would smell his distinct smell. One time I experienced this at a baseball game, out of the blue.  He loved baseball. When we committed to adopt Zoya I was sad with the thought of realizing that my Grandpa would never meet her. He would love her (he DOES love her). Before we traveled to meet Zoya, I mentioned to my Grandma how I was sad that Grandpa would never meet Zoya. My Grandma said, "Oh Sarah, don't you know he probably set this whole thing up." And that was all I needed to hear to remember that he was going to be with us through the journey.

We met Zoya on March 17, 2010. My Grandpa was buried on March 17, 2008. In THIS POST FROM "METCHA DAY" I talk about how it was a very gloomy day, but when Zoya was handed to me, the sun came pouring through the windows. I know it was no coincidence that this was the day we met her, and I know my Grandpa was there in the sunshine that poured through that window.

There were times in Ukraine that I felt my Grandpa's presence without a doubt. I smelled his scent often through the wind while walking to the orphanage, during times I hadn't even been thinking about him. It was like all of the sudden, he was there. My Grandpa was a huge NY Yankees fan. Every day during our walk from our apartment to the orphanage, we passed over this curb (remember this is in the middle of Ukraine, where the language spoken is Russian and the alphabet is Cyrillic, which looks nothing like our letters):

The NY Yankees symbol in the middle of Ukraine. Coincidence? I don't think so.

We captured many pictures that show a huge contrast between dark and light. We found light in the darkest places during our time in Ukraine both literally and figuratively. God made his presence known to us and one way he did that was sending reminders of my Grandpa. I still wish with all my heart that my Grandpa could be here in the flesh because I think their meeting would be so sweet. I think he would call her "pugsy" because that's what he called me when I was little because I was so chubby just like Zoya. Their meeting would make my heart melt. I guess we have that to look forward to one day when we all meet in heaven. Here are some pictures that represent the light we found during our darkest times in Ukraine.

I love how in these 3 pictures the light forms a cross or an angel look

In this picture the dark shadows represent to me, the bars Zoya had been behind too long. But the light is a reminder that freedom and hope are close by.

And a few with some amazing light...

It is awesome to look back at our pictures and see the light shining through during our dark times. Feeling God's presence so closely was breathtaking. Knowing my Grandpa joined us on the journey and helped us through the dark days will always amaze me. During your dark times, even when you think there is no light to be found, look a little closer. Seek out the light and it will find you.

Freedom

I found this quote that beautifully describes our little Zoya girl:

"Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you." Jean Paul Sartre

Zoya celebrated her first independence day today! This day means so many things to our precious girl. We are so thankful for all the men and women who fought and continue to fight for our right to be free and safe. Without them, bringing Zoya home to America would not even have been an option.  Their sacrifices are more than most of us will ever comprehend.  We have so much to be thankful for in America. Beyond this meaning, I've thought a lot about what freedom means for Zoya today. Freedom from spending almost 24 hours a day in a crib, freedom from neglect, freedom from lonely days, freedom from being at the mercy of those who abuse their role as caregiver, freedom from life as a castaway orphan, freedom from so many terrible things. So when I read this quote I think of Zoya, because ultimately, the thing that has amazed me most about Zoya has been her ability to put the past behind her, to hold no grudges, to love with all her heart despite all she has been through in her early years. Freedom to Zoya means choosing to love the world with open arms, completely and fully forgiving all the wrong that has been done to her.  She has every reason to love, but to do so with a guarded heart. Instead, Zoya has no guard up on her heart. She has ever reason to trust, but with apprehension. Instead, Zoya trusts fully and freely never thinking one might not be worthy of her trust.  I think most of us can take a lesson from Zoya. Freedom truly is letting our hearts be completely open and loving wholly despite the hurts we have suffered. Freedom is letting go of the things that could hold us back from experiencing all the good this world has to offer. I hope one day I can be as free as Zoya.

Today was a magical day. We had an early afternoon picnic at my favorite top secret spot! This place is filled with beauty and magic every time we go. I love seeing the sun peek through the trees and dance on the dirt beneath my feet! Today I loved seeing how the sunlight sparkled on Zoya's beautiful face and lit up her big blue eyes. We went to a little outside diner for dinner with some friends. It was the best fourth of July in my memory.

Freedom to love with an open heart

Freedom to have a picnic wherever we want

Freedom to eat until we can't eat any more

Freedom to ask for more while our mouths are still full

Freedom to be the cutest darn thing alive

Freedom to listen intently to my momma

Freedom to walk barefoot through the creek with my daddy

Freedom to splash in God's beautiful creations

Freedom to enjoy life to its fullest

(And here's proof that Zoya leaves a little fairy dust everywhere she goes!)

Freedom to rest my little head on daddy's shoulder and let someone else carry me when the going gets tough

Freedom to fall asleep anywhere I want and know I'm safe

Freedom to sit and watch the cars go by without a worry in the world

Who likes being American? I do!

What does freedom mean to you?

Punxsutawney Party

Yep....Punxsutawney....the place where the groundhog lives....also the place Shawn's family lives!  A few weekends ago Shawn's family threw a welcome home party/shower for Zoya! This was the first time that most of his family met Zoya. The party was great (even though I think it was like 95 degrees ha). Zoya ate her fair share of Grandpa's homemade meatballs and was a happy girl the whole time (despite waking up earlier than usual that morning and only sleeping about 45 minutes in the car on the way there). Everyone was so excited to meet Zoya and many had said lots of prayers to get us home!

Meeting Uncle Steve and Aunt Stacey (Shawn's Brother and Sister)

This picture was taken right before Zoya swooped in on Aunt Stacey with the puppy dog kisses!

Meeting Aunt Kim and cousin Mattea

Zoya has a thing with babies and their heads! Shawn is telling her "nice"

Kisses from Grandma

Zoya's cake!

Everyone enjoyed the great food!

Zoya taking a break from the meatballs to smile for a picture.

Zoya's new favorite 3rd cousin...Alexandra-want to move in with us? :)

Grandpa always tries to get Zoya to share her goldfish...this time she did (after a few tries)

Time to open presents...see all the kid legs to the right? So fun to watch others open presents! Zoya still loves this wagon!

Zoya opening her toy lawnmower (I think Daddy was just as excited about this one!)

Look at this BEAUTIFUL quilt Aunt Nancy made!! We are so excited to have a famous "Aunt Nancy" quilt!

Zoya was so tired from all the fun that she fell asleep after being in the car for 30 seconds! Punxsy throws a good party!