9 Months Home!

Wow! It has been 3/4 of a year that Zoya has been home! We are really starting to see her little personality and it is so fun to watch! She has opinions and clear preferences, likes, and dislikes.  She is sassy as ever but such a good little girl.  She loves doing the right thing, although she does try to test us by doing the wrong thing. One of my favorite things about Zoya is that she wants so badly to make others happy and do the right thing.  She feels terrible when she does something wrong...lots of times, I don't even have to say anything to her, she tells herself "no, no, no" and then signs sorry if she does something she knows she isn't supposed to do! She listens so very well to directions (most of the time), of course the 1-2-3 "threat" is used at least a handful of times a day and she ALWAYS lets us count to 2 before she gets to doing what we asked (because she knows if we get to 3 that means time out!)...but she really has been so well behaved and such a sweet soul.  Her personality is bigger than life and when I think back to how mild and meek she was the day we met her it makes me sad to think that this personality was suppressed for so long....BUT....the way she lives life BIG is making up for lost time for sure!  We are so blessed and have been warned that any future children will likely give us a run for our money since she has been so good! :)

The biggest happening over this last month has been that Zoya has finally started to turn down food. This is GOOD! When Zoya was first home she would eat everything and anything, even if that meant pieces of garbage off the floor and non edible things.  She was obsessed with food and it took priority over everything else.  If she heard a food bag rustling she would drop what she was doing and literally run to the kitchen and beg for food.  She would eat and eat until we told her she was done and would sometimes whine when food was gone. We tried really hard to give her something to eat every single time she asked to show her that food would always be there when she was hungry or just when she wanted it. It was a delicate balancing act for a while not to overfeed her but also to make her feel secure that there would always be food and she would never go hungry. These behaviors were a result of life as an orphan, being one of many mouths to feed with few hands to help and being fed only once a day. We know she was fed a good lunch at least while we were there because we saw the sheer volume of it....but we aren't so naive to think that she was always fed that way. I mean from the time we met her until our embassy appointment she gained 4 pounds...and we saw what the other children were being fed-which was not comparable to what Zoya got while we were there. Anyways, Zoya still loves food and loves to eat, but the obsessiveness has finally mostly dwindled away. In fact, we took her to a restaurant in the mall and she was more worried about getting down and walking all around the mall (her new favorite thing to do) than sitting and eating. She will now tell us all done when she is full, or when she would rather play, even if there is still food left on her plate. It took a good eight months for her to finally feel secure and retrain her heart and brain to know she will never suffer from hunger again. Healing is a slow process, but each day we see tiny changes and look back to nine months ago and marvel at the differences in our angel. Amazing, redemptive grace of God!

As we've gotten to know Zoya over the past nine months, we realize more and more that God created this child, knowing all along, she would be ours. The similarities between her and us are too strong to be coincidental. In addition to looking like her momma and daddy, she reminds me of her daddy and of I so much in many different ways. She likes to stay up late and sleep in like her momma and values sleep just as much as her momma! (thank you God!! That was very kind of you since you know how much my body needs sleep). While snuggling on the couch with either one of us, Zoya has to rub her feet on us and wiggle her toes while laying there...just like her momma. She loves music and dancing and definitely got that from her daddy!  Shawn's rendition of "Beat It" (MJ) at wedding receptions might be in jeopardy of being moved to second place with Zoya's up and coming moves! She sweats in the heat just as bad as her daddy but has cold toes, nose and fingers in the winter like her momma.

"Not flesh of my flesh,

Nor bone of my bone,

But still miraculously my own.

Never forget for a single minute,
You didn't grow under my heart - but in it"

I can't imagine this girl without her Grandparents to love her....

without a million reasons a day to laugh like crazy...

without hundreds of snuggles and kisses every single day

without a family to call her own...

without independence to explore and learn...

without girly sunglasses (that she puts on her head all by herself) and cute dresses and bows...

without a home of her own...

without opportunities to grow and develop like every other child...

without a Daddy teaching her how to ride a bike....

But more than that, I can't imagine US without HER!

Happy NINE months home angel girl....you are everything we never knew we couldn't live without!

 

Bucket Therapy!

I stumbled upon a great therapy idea! It is great for physical and sensory therapy! I bought this purple bucket at Targ*t to store all of Zoya's stuffed animals in (okay really I thought it would be a nice place to throw all her toys that don't have a home and are laying all over the floor at the end of each day). Well Zoya wanted to climb in one day and so I helped her in. From there we started pushing her across the room really fast and then spinning her inside the bucket. She LOVED it. From there we found so many more great therapy ideas with the bucket! So cheap and fun!

So for these activities below you will need a round tub like this.

 The picture shows a 10 pound weight in the bottom. If you don't have one you could use a bag or two of potatoes or something else heavy. When we started these activities we did them without the weight, but today, after talking with our PT, I added the weight. I like the weight for several reasons.

First, it keeps the bucket from tipping over when Zoya tries to climb in and out of it.

Second, pushing and pulling heavy items is very good proprioceptive input to help children better understand and develop the concept of how much or how little pressure is needed to manipulate objects (thanks to our OT for teaching me all this!) Zoya has a very hard time grading movement. In other words, she has a hard time using the appropriate amount of pressure to manipulate objects. She is generally rough and not very gentle with her hands. I am coming to learn that this is not a behavior, but an inability to know how much pressure to use. If I give her a plastic cup that is too thin (like a disposable one) she will crush it because she is used to picking up her hard plastic cup or straw cup. We were working on her cheerio book the other day and she got the cheerio in the right hole and then would push it down so hard she would crush it. She didn't understand she needed less pressure than she would need for wooden puzzle pieces puzzle pieces.  

I threw some stuffed animals in the bottom so she wasn't sitting on the hard weight. A folded up blanket would also work well on top of the weight.

This is Zoya laughing after the spinning stopped! Spinning is such a great sensory activity! It gives so much input to the senses!

Pushing SOOOO hard! She does fairly well with the 10 pound weight but it is definitely hard work for her! You could start with 5 pounds if 10 is too much.

Another idea I had after asking the PT about "heel-toe walking" instead of flat foot walking....She suggested activities that would strengthen her ankles such as jumping on the bed or a couch cushion. I remembered I had this air seat in the basement (it was a ab-strengthening thing I used like a total of 5 times). It is awesome for balance, ankle strength, and sensory input because it has little spikes on one side! Holding onto the bucket gave her enough support without me having to hold her. She was bouncing up and down on the air seat.

We love this step stool from Grandma and Grandpa B. I fancied it up a little at Grandma's suggestion! This is great for stepping up into the bucket and then back down again. One of her PT goals is stepping up and down a 4" surface with one hand held (and ultimately walking up and down stairs).

She loves it when we pick the bucket up and swing her from side to side or twirl her around in the air. I recommend taking the ten pound weight out before you do it (I may or may not have tried to swing it with the weight still in it!)

Here is her face when the movement stops. She has a funny look on her face the entire time that she is swinging or spinning, then when it stops she cracks up.

More standing on the air seat.

She is telling me by saying and signing "ra-ra" which means round and round. We get a pretty darn good work out so it's a good thing there is two of us to take turns with the spinning! She just keeps asking over and over for more round and round! She would do this all night if we let her!

The bucket is also great for standing and sitting with control and sitting in the correct "criss-cross applesauce" or "ring sit" position. It is pretty impossible to sit in the awful "w-position" that Zoya loves since the inside of the bucket is too small.

Climbing in and out. Zoya can almost do this by herself! The bucket is just a smidge too tall still. But look how hard she is working!

Another way to incorporate sensory input is to pile some stuffed animals on top of her! I'd love to have some big bean bags or rice bags I could pile on top of her too...something with a little bit more weight to give even more input. Look at this sweet angel face! Notice her rosy red cheeks from working so hard!

This is so much fun that I didn't even realize we were doing therapy, Mom!

Climbing out...

More spinning...

These activities are also good speech/communication therapy. We make Zoya ask for more spinning or more swinging. She also verbalizes a lot while doing these activities! I read on another blog a great way to "cement" a learning activity is to do some physical activity afterwards, so this activity might be great to try after working on colors or numbers or a new sign or some other learning concept!



Anyone have any other favorite all-encompassing therapy activities they use with their kids?

Go Steelers!

Self Feeding

Zoya has been working so hard on feeding herself! When she first came home she didn't even understand how to pick up a cheerio and put it in her mouth. These days she is feeding herself 100% of her meals using both a fork and spoon! We are working on an open cup, which has been very difficult for Zoya, but she has recently shown great improvement in that area too....although we still have a long ways to go until she can independently drink thinner liquids from an open cup (I will do a separate post on that and if anyone has any tips I'd love to hear them!).

After Zoya got the hang of feeding herself using her hands, we moved onto the fork. We have been working on using a fork for about 4-5 months and she's finally got it!  This was so difficult for Zoya as she had little finger/hand strength and had no idea how to hold the fork. We did a lot of hand over hand to begin with so she would get the idea of what to do. For a while we also put the food on the fork for her and just worked on her getting it to her mouth, which was a skill in itself.  One tip from our OT was to have her grasp further down on the fork so she had more strength, rather than holding on closer to the end of the handle of the fork. To do this, we would hand her the fork while we held onto the end so she only had one place to put her hand--toward the bottom of the fork handle. She would try to stab the food, but in the beginning, often needed guidance of where to put the fork to stab the food so we would guide her hand. Some beginning fork foods that worked well for us were cut up burgers (I made them more compact so they wouldn't break apart easily), soft cheese, bananas, and apples.  One thing that worked well in the beginning was to put a bunch of pieces (of whatever food we were using) into a very small round bowl--almost like a tiny food prep bowl. This way the pieces kind of stacked on top of each other, rather than being spread out on a plate. This made it easy for her to be successful just by sticking her fork into the bowl. When we did this she slowly began to feed herself, working up to about 50% of her meal. When she got toward the pieces in the bottom, she needed more help as it wasn't as easy to just stick her fork in and get a piece by chance. As her finger and hand strength increased, and as she got more practice, using a fork became much easier for her and over the past month she has been able to successfully feed herself an entire meal using a fork! We have recently moved to using plates more than bowls because she can do that now!  It was often tempting to just do it for her as I could see her get so frustrated sometimes (and sometimes I just did because it hurt my heart to see her try so hard and fail), but I got better at letting her keep on trying without me butting in and doing it for her. That made a big difference. She was determined to do it herself so I just needed to follow her plan!

The spoon wasn't as easy so we decided to try this after working with the fork for a month or two. We started with really sticky and thick foods like pudding, rice, mashed potatoes, etc. This was REALLY messy in the beginning but after a lot of practice she got it! When we worked on the spoon, we used the words, "scoop" as opposed to "poke," which we used for the fork. These verbal cues seemed to help her remember what she was supposed to do. For a while she would get mixed up and try to poke foods when we gave her a spoon, now she seems to know the difference. Today was the first day I gave her two foods that each needed a different utensil to eat. I gave her a cut up turkey burger (fork) and some Asian rice with veggies (spoon). I used a plate that had two food sections and put each utensil with each food. She did REALLY WELL going back and forth between the two and I was so proud of my little bug! This was the first time she had this type of rice and she devoured it!

Another thing that has been great is the red Dycem placemat that you see in the pictures. When Zoya was in the highchair, she was better about putting her drink back down because there was a smaller surface areas (her tray vs. the entire table) and her high chair try had a "hole" for the cup to sit down in. When we moved to the table she was constantly sliding her cup across and pushing it out of her own reach just because it slid easily on the table. She also would push her bowl or plate because it would slide too and I guess she just thought it was fun. Since having this nice mat (you can read about the "sticky" material if you click on the above link) she isn't trying to move her dishes around or push them out of reach which was annoying and messy. I am thinking of taking a Sharpie and drawing a dark circle on the mat so she has a visual reminder of where her cup goes. These mats clean easily with soap and warm water :)

Here are some pictures!

She loves her Elmo plate (which also came with Elmo spoon and fork, but I really like these Gerber ones better....they have nice fat handles! Not to mention when I give Zoya the Elmo fork and spoon she just plays with it and talks to Elmo--a little distracted ha).

Notice her rice is completely gone!

What do you mean no more rice for me? This is so unfair!

*If you noticed her Jersey, she is preparing for the big game today...more cute Steeler Baby pictures to come!

Robot Dance and Some Yoga

Zoya was really making me laugh tonight! She started doing this "robot dance" when I got the camera out. She was moving her arms like a robot...I have no idea where she learned this...all I can think is that her newest favorite Elmo video (Best of Elmo 2) has a robot as a main character and they dance. Either way its pretty darn funny. Then half way through you can see her new yoga moves (or as Uncle Bub affectionately calls it "Dog peeing on fire hydrant!" haha) with her leg in the air. I bet her PT would be so proud...these moves definitely require some good core strength!!

Sand Through The Hourglass....

When people say kids grow up fast, they're not kidding! Seriously, time has never gone faster! I look back on videos of Zoya from the orphanage and the first few months home and its bittersweet. As I watched some of the videos last night (before the migraine of the year hit) I thought I can't even remember her being that way. I can't remember her learning to crawl and how clumsy and awkward she looked trying to scoot from one place to another. I remember in my head that she couldn't even crawl when we brought her home, but I forgot what she looked like when learning to crawl. I forgot how short she was and how her baby fat made her look so much younger. I forgot that her hair was so short in the back it was almost like a buzz cut. I forgot that her jammies that are now way too small on her used to be baggy at one time.  My memory has never been stellar but it makes me a little sad to think that her baby-ness seems so far away. Like one day she just became this toddler. And then I'm going to blink and she'll be in Kindergarten, and then in another instant she will have her first crush (on a guy other than her Daddy :), and, well, I just want to freeze time right here. I want her to be 2 years 7 months and 8 days old forever. O.K., really, truly, I don't want that...I want nothing more than to watch her blossom and grow into the child of God that she is....but darn it, it's sad sometimes thinking about how she's not really a baby anymore.

When we were preparing to bring Zoya home, we prepared for a baby...I'm talking a child around a 6 month developmental level. Well she far surpassed those expectations from day 1. So now I'm left feeling like I didn't get enough of her as a baby and wishing I could get those days back. I'd give anything. I'd give away everything I own and then some. But I can't, and I won't ever get those days back. And don't get me wrong, I'm over the moon happy knowing this was all God's plan, but sometimes, just sometimes, I'd like to know why God's plan involved my baby being alone for 22 months (now I know HE was there, but alone in the sense of human contact). But who am I to question God, really? I could list a million different "maybes" as to why we didn't "find' each other until then, but it's all speculation and maybe I'm never supposed to know. Maybe it is what it is and that's that.

How do you bottle up all the memories and save them forever when you have that suffocating feeling of sand slipping through the hourglass?  I take a million pictures and videos and I love looking back on them, but I feel like I wish I could savor every single second even more. Days pass by so fast and some days I'm just not ready to move onto the next. I'd rather bathe in their beauty and comfort. Some days I feel like I haven't sucked enough juice out of life.  But time moves on at the same pace day after day and we are the ones left hoping to feel that we've given it our all....hoping that the memories we make will last a lifetime...knowing that we can't hold on to each moment forever, but that we must take each moment one at a time, embrace and love on that moment completely, and then let it slip to the back of our hearts to embrace the beauty of the next moment, and the moment after that.  So I guess we let the sand slip through the hourglass, but only after we've held and completely savored each and every piece of sand. 

A Walk Down Memory Lane...

Oh, how far we've come since this video....my sweet baby!

Tubes Recovery and Silly Cell Phone Pictures!

Zoya is doing fantastic! She has blabbered more today than I've ever heard her before!! I think she is definitely hearing new sounds she had not heard before! It's like she just likes to hear herself go on and on...pretty hilarious. She is not loving the 5 ear drops in each ear 3 times a day, but I wouldn't either! Also, we are working on getting custom made ear plugs for her teeny ears, but until then its cotton balls with Vaseline in the ears for bath time...that's kind of a pain and she doesn't really enjoy it but she leaves them in at least!

Here is Zoya watching Elmo waiting for her happy juice before surgery.

Why do I feel so funny?

I can barely keep my eyes open!

And the day after...pretty sure she forgot all about it by this point!

She was walking all around the store and listening to everything I said, like "this way" or "turn here" and then Daddy decided to put her in the big part of the cart standing up...baaaaad idea Daddy! At least for this picture she listened when I said, "sit down." After she realized how much fun riding in the big part is, she didn't want to walk anymore!

A shopper in training :)

Hangin out like a big kid...

Momma let me wear her wet hair towel! I think it's soooo funny!

Thanks for your prayers....Zoya is back to normal plus some extra new hearing!

Tara who left a comment-would love to chat with you, but you didn't leave an email. Email me at spbasile@hotmail.com :)

Tubes

Zoya's surgery went well this morning. She had tubes put in both ears and an ABR hearing test while sedated. She came out of anesthesia much better this time. She still cried quite a bit but not nearly as much as she did for the tear duct surgery. She was comforted by Mama, Daddy, Elmo DVD, and her new favorite....peanut butter! Once they removed the IV and all the tape she was mostly a happy camper. She did not, however, want any medical equipment or nurses near her! It was so nice to see such a difference in her between this surgery and the last. She sought comfort from us and we were able to calm her down.  The doctor said Zoya's right ear had a clear fluid when they cut into her eardrum, which is what they typically see. He said that her left ear, however, had a very thick glue-like fluid which is not good. I asked if that meant it was infected and he said no, but that it likely caused her a 30-40% hearing loss in that ear prior to tubes. I had no idea it was that bad :( He said that could contribute to quite a bit of pain on a flight, especially three consecutive flights from Ukraine to home....which now makes a little more sense why she might have had such a rough time on the very long flight.  The good news is that the hearing test they did right after they put the tubes in showed almost perfect hearing in both ears! She didn't respond to some low tones but the doctor said those tones are not conversational or speech tones and would not interfere with her acquiring speech. He also said he thought after all the fluid drains from her ears this hearing loss of low tones should be reversed and she should have absolutely no hearing issues.  So as far as he was concerned she now has perfect hearing!

I kept thinking afterward about how this poor angel went through open heart surgery with no momma and daddy by her side :( (although I think you mommas and daddys who go through an open heart surgery procedure with your children are amazing! Even little procedures like this hurt my heart). I'm so glad she is here with us and we can comfort her and spoil her until she feels better! She's snoozing away now catching up on her sleep! Thank you God for this precious angel!

Zoya and her Cuteness

As promised, here are a few videos of the princess. You will see Zoya dancing...she just realized she has feet that move when she picks them up and dancing doesn't just mean shaking her booty/arms/and head anymore! She keeps kicking out her left leg it's so funny! You will also see lots of twirling which is Zoya's new favorite thing to do! Her balance is getting so much better! My favorite in these videos is her new laugh. The tongue between her teeth and thhhh thhhh thhh big girl laugh sound she is making. What a nut! I tried to get her cracking up at Mya with the bubbles but I lost my chance at that because after the first ten time (not on video) it wasn't as funny to her anymore. You can at least hear her say "more bubbles" pretty nicely! Enjoy!

The Anti-New Year Post

I've never really liked the new year holiday. I don't know why. I've never gotten into big celebrations and being so excited about leaving one year behind and starting another. I hate change. I just do. Maybe it's the pressure of reflecting back on the past year and wondering if I did enough, lived enough, took enough risks, gave it my all, lived life to the fullest.  Maybe it's the pressure of a new year starting...kind of like starting a huge new project or just sitting down to write a college paper that you know will inevitably take you many many hours and blood, sweat and tears.  The getting started part is the hardest.  I like projects to be well underway or finished. I don't love beginnings. I feel like as far as what I've been blessed with in 2010, 2011 could never beat that, so how could it get better? Maybe I'm having trouble letting go of 2010 because even though it was a tough year in many ways, it was probably my most life-changing year to date. Whatever it is, I'm not a fan of ending one year and starting another. It makes me feel older but mostly it makes me feel some sort of pressure to be a better person the next year.....pressure to set huge goals and strive for them....pressure to CHANGE something about myself....and, well, I don't like change. I need to learn to embrace change and learn to appreciate that failure is a necessity that makes us all better people in the end, and give up some control along the way. So I guess in this anti-new year post, I just stumbled my way to a new year's resolution...not an easy one either. Here's to new beginnings, falling and getting back up again with grace, and having enough faith to let go of the reins and just be a happy passenger in the carriage.

On another note, please pray for Zoya. She is scheduled to have surgery for tubes on Thursday. Yes, when we first came home she passed her hearing test with flying colors and it even made me question whether or not she might be a super hero....and her 3 hearing tests since have all been good as well. She hasn't had any ear infections either, so tubes are surprising. Since we've been home though she has had 4 audiology appointments and has failed the test they do to check for fluid in the ears...each time getting progressively worse, until the last two times her test was completely flat, meaning she has a LOT of fluid in her ears. Finally the audiologist gave us a referral to ENT, which I had asked the pediatrician about before, but she didn't see a need to send her.  Anyways, the ENT said she has so much fluid that her ear drums are retracting, so they scheduled surgery for next week. They're also going to do an ABR hearing test while she is sedated to make sure she is hearing well in both ears...since apparently the "clapping monkey" hearing test can only tell if the child is hearing well in "at least one ear." I'm hoping this will help her to hear more clearly. Even though the behavioral hearing tests show she has great hearing, we're not sure how clear the sounds are to her. I asked the ENT if this could explain why when I say "binky" Zoya signs "stinky," or when I saw "sweet" she signs "sleep" or when I say "you're stuffy" she signs "Snuffy" (as in the big scary thing from Sesame Street that she loves so much). He said that it absolutely could....(I still question if it could be a language thing too?)....so I guess we'll see if the tubes help with the clarity of her hearing. Zoya did not do well coming out of anesthesia last time, so prayers that it would be easier for her this time would be greatly appreciated.

She has been keeping us on our toes lately. Ever since she got her last two vaccines (Wednesday) she has been very cranky and crying at the drop of a hat.....and very emotional.  Its like I look at her the wrong way and she cries.  She never reacts well after vaccines and I'm starting to really hate them. I think the Christmas excitement after-effects and change in routine could also be playing a role in her behavior change lately. She has not been feeling great and had some awful stomach pain after dinner tonight and cried for about thirty minutes straight until Shawn could go to CVS and back home with gas relief drops! Zoya has seemed to go through good and not so good periods since being home. The good periods, over time, have gotten longer and the bad periods have gotten shorter, but right now we're in one of those stages where it's just tough to figure out what is bugging my girl. She is learning to feel emotions she has never felt before and sometimes I wonder if she just doesn't know how to react to feeling all those emotions. Its funny because when she was first home she almost never cried. She would laugh when she got hurt. So we tried so hard to get her to cry by making sad faces and saying things like "my poooooor baby, it's oooookay" and showing her it was appropriate to cry and now I can't get her to stop! So whatever it is, I hope she is back to herself soon. It is times like these that I feel like I have oh so much to learn about being a good momma. I hate when I can't help her or figure her out or fix her.

So with all that said, I hope today is no indication of what the New Year is to bring...but whatever the new year brings God will still be the same God...unchanged....loving...merciful....gracious....through the peaks and valleys of life.

P.S. cute videos coming soon when I take the time to upload them :)