Our Sunshines

How's Zoya?

well....that changes from minute to minute.....

With all the chaos, Zoya has had a little bit of a tough time. She is having some anxiety again, which always seems to peek when her routine is drastically changed, as it was with this last hospital stay. She is over her carseat aversion, for the most pat....but now is terrified if we leave the room without her. It's been fun....and almost impossible to get Mila down for a nap with Chatty Cathy following my every move and screaming hysterically if I even step foot out of the living room. She's got her eye on us like a hawk, making sure to keep us in sight at ALL TIMES. She has been especially clingy to her Daddy...maybe because she's stuck home all day with me :) She's doing best when kept very busy! She's doing fabulous with Mila and Mila just loves looking at and smiling at her big sister! Zoya has been talking a lot more lately but gets her words all mixed up with that darn apraxia. She'll say "I want please swing" or "please I want play"...but at least she's saying please and we get her point and that's all that matters!  She tries SOOOOO hard to communicate with us and almost always gets her point across one way or another! We're so proud of her! She even ate lunch with her class in the big scary cafeteria for the first time and had no problems! She NEVER could have done that at the beginning of the school year, so accomplishments like that help keep her progress in perspective and it's a little easier not to get frustrated with minor setbacks like she's going through now. Her sleep has been a little off, but nothing terrible. She has been visiting with Grandma Liz next door and has asked me about 400 times since yesterday if she can visit "Lee" as she calls her. She even put her coat and boots on and said "Mama LEE house!"

See why she had so much fun...

And today Zoya got to spend some time playing in the snow with Daddy and Mya...I think Mya had more fun than anyone else (she's an Australian labradoodle for those of you who asked!)

Mya can jump!

Such a Daddy's girl lately!

Zoya seeking Daddy's comfort after she face-planted in the snow for the second time!

We'll just keep on pushing through for Zoya...life is settling down again and she is happier :)

Days Like This....

Parenting is tough, no question about it. Going from one to two children in a year and a half is tough. Parenting kids with special needs is tough. Sorting out attachment/anxiety/adoption issues in your children is tough. Parenting a medically fragile babe is tough. Don't get me wrong, I'm so thankful for all that we have and wouldn't change it for anything, but today I'm disappointed in myself and my lack of patience, my frustration, my fatigue. I'm annoyed I can't be better at this. I fell short today for sure. I'm feeling misunderstood. I feel like I can't talk about the hard stuff because we chose this. We chose (and continue to choose) to follow God no matter what that means. We knew that meant tough days/weeks/months/seasons. We are in a difficult season, and I know it won't last forever, but trudging through in the moment is hard.  We are being stretched in ways we never thought we could be. Hopefully we'll come out the other side stronger, more faithful. Days like today I question if we are right where we are supposed to be in this life. In my heart I know we are, but that ugly voice rears it's head more often than I'd like. If someone told us it would be this hard would we make the same decisions all over again? Probably, because this is what we were called to do, even on the worst, stinkiest, awful days where I feel like I couldn't have done any worse at this mother thing. I know we all have days like this, but I'm ready for some happier days...enjoying my girls and not stressing so much. We've been through a lot in these past 3 months, I need to cut myself some slack, but I'm so good at being my own worst critic, and it's so easy to let the enemy creep up on you and convince you that you've got it all wrong.

So thankful that tomorrow holds the promise of a new day and I can start all over....

Hangin' at Home

A typical night at home.....where we've been spending A LOT of time...perhaps too much time! Ready for the Great Quarantine to be over!! But trying to make the best of it!

Christmas 2011

Well since we thought we'd be in the hospital for Christmas Day, we celebrated the weekend before. It was a great day, but there was a definite sense of stress on my part with the looming surgery. I enjoyed it as much as I could but wish I could have let go and enjoyed it a little more. We had a nice morning and just like last year, Zoya took allll morning to open her presents. She liked opening one and playing with it for a while. We had to keep telling her she had more presents!

From us and Santa she received a Sid the Science Kid Talking doll, a toddler MP3 player, and a baby doll that can go in the bathtub! Her favorite is the MP3 player, or as we call it, her radio. It came with 20 songs preloaded onto it and we added some more of her favorite songs. She could carry that thing around all day if we'd let her! She and Mila got a pretty cool doorway swing from Uncle Bub and that gift was MY favorite! So good for therapy, and Mila can use it too when she is stronger. From us and Santa, Mila received a white noise sheep for her crib, a travel mobile (that she loves and that worked fabulous in the hospital), and a floor mirror.

The first present Zoya opened on Christmas eve was from Aunt Debbie and as she pulled back the paper she yelled MINNIE! And sure enough it was a Minnie Mouse Doll. So from then on, lots of the presents she opened on Christmas she was trying to guess what was inside by saying "Minnie?" or "Elmo?" It was cute. She got to open some of Mila's presents too and would ask before opening "Mila?" or "Zoya?" just to make sure she knew who it was for before she opened it!

This is when she discovered Minnie Mouse was inside the wrapping!

She loves Minnie!

Modeling her new princess dress!

Family of 4!

So excited for her Sid Doll

"I love him!"

Mila and Mama

Zoya's MP3 player

Attacking Daddy

She loves her pillow from Uncle Bub and sleeps with it every night!

Loved the doll from her Great Grandma P.

Reading her books from Thom and Annie and family! (I LOVE the book called "Beautiful Oops" that they got her...just fabulous!!!)

Mila hanging out on her first Christmas

She loved the wrapping paper!

The bunny is from great grandma and it says "jelly bean!" So perfect!!

More wrapping paper

beautiful sisters

Love how Zoya is looking at Mila

Zoya's new swing

She thinks her mama is silly

Mila says "this is exhausting"

More to come :)

*Also I've gotten many inquiries about my Ginkgo comment. I'm working on a post (in my spare time ha!)

Good Job Zoya!

So I'm not a homeschooling mama but I am a teacher and I love teaching Zoya! She absolutely LOVES learning anything and everything! She takes such pride in her accomplishments. Recently I've seen her taking initiative and using and applying the skills she has learned and it makes me so proud of her! She knows her letters and numbers and can verbally identify all of them. The other day she was drawing on her magna doodle and she said, "Mama 'f'" and I looked down and sure enough her little doodle looked like the letter "f." I praised her a bunch and then she put her pen to the magna doodle again and did a little scribble that looked like a 2. She said, "Mama 2!" I called Shawn in because I couldn't even believe I was watching her make these connections all on her own outside of any letter lesson we did together. Do I think she could write a "2" or an "f" if I asked her? No, but she was making a connection between her scribble and her knowledge of numbers and letters and also between writing in general! She has been picking out letters everywhere we go and spelling the words on big signs, sweatshirts, her stroller, even on the buckle on the cart. She has been picking up books and "reading" them and I just think it's the sweetest thing ever! I love watching the wheels turn and seeing how she loves learning so much!

Soon I'll post Christmas pictures, I promise, but I wanted to remember this little moment first :)

A CHRISTMAS OF MIRACLES

So you all know I certainly didn't have time to make this beautiful Christmas card!!! Thanks to JAE for taking the time to put together this fabulous card! The wording is perfect and the pictures are all my favorites from our photo shoot! I love blogging because all of you guys are just so kind...so supportive...so full of joy for our family! Thank you for sharing in all our our miracles this holiday season!

Merry Christmas

The girls are nestled all snug in their beds...waiting for Santa to come tonight! Santa agreed to come a little early since we'll be in the hospital on Christmas for Mila's heart surgery recovery!

Zoya has been so excited and trying to open the presents under the tree for a couple days now. She keeps saying "Santa" and signing "presents" and then saying "TREE!" Tonight she prepared a plate of cookies for Santa and almost started crying when she realized they weren't for HER! So I had to give her a Hershey kiss to get her up to bed LOL. It took a bit for her to fall asleep as she was up there yelling "HO HO HO!" She knows tomorrow is a special day!

We decided to do 3 gifts for the girls this year...hey it was enough for Baby Jesus so it's enough for them.....and then Uncle Bub rolled into town with his sleigh full ;) He spoils his girls!

Truly we are so blessed this Christmas. Blessed to have so many amazing family and friends who are supporting us in every way imaginable. Blessed to have two beautiful daughters who make every day so special. Blessed to be spending Christmas in the hospital. Yep, that's right, blessed to be spending Christmas in the hospital. Because that means our jelly bean will be on the mend. That means she got the greatest gift of all....a chance at a new, healthy life. A gift of health and life is the best gift of all!

Merry Christmas from Zoya and the rest of the Basiles! (Photo courtesy of Grandma Liz)

Long Overdue Zoya Update!

Even though I have very little time these days to sit down and write, I promised myself last night I'd write about Zoya because she is just turning into such a big girl lately! It is so cool to watch all the changes that are happening with her lately. I swear she grows overnight every night because each morning she looks more and more grown up to me!

Last night Zoya and I spent some one on one time in her room reading and singing and snuggling and hugging. She kept saying "more hug" and "woo woo too" (love you too). She is able to carry on a conversation with us between words and signs and I just think it's so cool to start hearing what she has to say. She gets her wants/needs across very well and follows directions to a T! She is so literal it cracks me up. I told her to stop touching her glass Elmo ornament and just to look with her eyes. So she got her little head as close to that ornament while sticking her butt out and tried to touch her eyes to the ornament. Then last night I said "Can you watch Mila for Mama?" (I was trying to make Zoya feel helpful and important) and Zoya walked right over to her, bent down hovering over her with her eyes an inch from Mila's and just "watched" her. I laughed so hard! She is such a good girl and has really put up with a lot of changes in the past couple of months.

She has shared us gracefully (except the week from you know where) and she has done fabulous during the times we can't be here with her because we are with Mila in Pittsburgh. Shawn and I are trying to be very intentional with her and giving lots of extra love and attention at every second we can. We are also very aware that we can't take advantage of the fact that she is doing so well on the outside and forget her emotional needs on the inside. It has been so difficult to balance caring for Mila in Pittsburgh and Zoya in Erie, and it's about to get a whole lot more difficult next week. We are blessed to have fantastic family and friends who have been so willing to help us. Thanks to Grandma and Grandpa B. and Aunt Jen Jen and Xavier for helping us love on Zoya while we can't be here.

Zoya is still doing fabulous with potty and wearing underwear everywhere (even school) except for naptime and bedtime. She still refuses to poop in the potty but I think she's getting closer because she has been obsessed with putting all her babies and animals on the potty and yelling POOP! haha. Let's hope it's right around the corner for her! Her speech is really coming along and she is saying new words every day. She was on the potty the other day and I heard her yelling SHADOW! SHADOW! SHADOW! And I peeked in and she was making shadow puppets on the wall haha! She loves singing and dancing and playing anything girly! Right now she is sitting on the floor next to me playing with her doll house. I love seeing her play appropriately. She just picked up the mama and said HUG and made her hug the daddy. The other day she was very quiet so I went into the playroom to check on her and she had a burp cloth under Elmo's butt and she had a diaper out and was wiping Elmo with wipes and putting a diaper on him! She must watch pretty closely! The best part was she was being sooo gentl with Elmo and it was just so sweet! I love seeing her act out love like this because I know we must be doing something right here. School is going good and she loves going....I think she wishes she could go every day because she asks just about every day if it's a school day. She has been able to tell me bits and pieces of her day which I just love.

I've been wanting to get a good video of Zoya singing because she just loves to sing and I love hearing her. So here is Mama and Zoya's Twinkle Twinkle duet!

(if you notice her right eye turning in....she'll be getting glasses in a couple of months to fix that! Then she'll really be a fashionista!)

And here is her acting out and singing "The Wheels on the Bus"

And a cute little one of Zoya answering my questions. One of her favorite things to do is name everyone in the room and point...I hear she likes to do that at school too!

I am the luckiest mama ever to spend my days with two sweet girls now! It's not always the easiest job, in fact it's the hardest job I've ever had, but it's the most fun too!