Happy 2nd Metcha Day Zoya!

March 17, 2010 changed our world.....

Zoya on the day we first met her

It all seems so long ago, but if I close my eyes and remember, it seems like just yesterday.  We tried to catch some sleep as we rode an overnight train through Ukraine from Kiev to Dnepropetrovsk where our soon to be daughter was living in an orphanage. Just as the loud bumpy train would seem to settle into some sort of lullaby pattern, we'd wake from our semi-sleeping state being all but jerked off our seats as the train screeched to a halt at one of the many stops. There was no sense in even trying to sleep. Between the loud, bumpy train and the nervous/excited ball of emotions I was, there was really no way sleep was going to happen. So many thoughts ran through my mind on that train ride. For so long, it seemed we were months away from meeting our daughter and that this moment might never come....and then suddenly we were hours....then minutes away from meeting this child we would call "daughter." How would she react? Would she be calm and peaceful and accept us immediately as we had prayed? Would she be scared? Would her tiny little heart be prepared to meet her mommy and daddy?  How big or little would she be? Would we feel excited or scared or peaceful or worried when we met her? The moments on that train, leading up to the moment we would meet our daughter, were so full of anticipation and excitement, unlike anything else I had ever experienced up until that point in my life.

We heard a knock on our cabin door and we knew we were close to our stop. We gathered up all of our things (we had way over packed by Ukrainian standards!). We hobbled off the train and met our facilitator and literally hit the ground running. We had two stops to make before the orphanage. We dropped off our luggage and then we had to get permission from the social worker to proceed with the adoption. After that we arrived at the orphanage. It was a cold dreary day (like many days in Ukraine). We were taken to the director's office. She had kind eyes and wanted to speak with us about our motive to adopt. She clearly wanted to ensure that we would take care of this child. We shared photos with her and spoke from our hearts. Each time the door opened my heart jumped into my throat and I couldn't focus. We accidentally got a really quick peek of Zoya and then the director shooed the caregiver away as it was apparently not time to meet her yet. We did not think the child we saw was Zoya, as she looked nothing like we pictured. We continued on, trying our best to focus on the background information that was given to us about Zoya. I scribbled down notes in writing that I could barely read later.

And then THE MOMENT, possibly the most anticipated moment in the adoption world, Zoya was carried in by a caregiver with a soft smile. I was a little shocked by her orphanage haircut (remember this was before the blog world was popular with adopting families through RR). The rest is history and you can read about it HERE if you want to take a walk down memory lane with me :) You can also read my first metcha day post HERE. Time is just flying by!

Zoya two years after the first day we met her!

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Swimming with Daddy!

Daddy and his girls!

Mila was so intrigued by the swimmers in the pool!

One of my all-time favorite pictures!

See how much she trusts her Daddy!!

Sweet girl and Sweet Daddy!

Love all her chub!

Zoya's turn!

Love her beautiful face!

Listening very intensely to the teacher!

My baby hippo!

This picture makes me laugh!

This girl LOVES swimming!!

Zoya's Surgery Update

Zoya and Mila playing with the iPad while waiting for Zoya's procedure to start

This morning Zoya had a quick surgery to check out what was going on with her ears. At our last visit she had so much wax deep down in them the doctor had a hard time seeing what was going on with her tubes. He could tell for sure the right tube had just fallen out and he thought the left was out as well but wasn't sure. After he cleaned out the ton of wax in there, he could see in the right ear that the tube was out, still laying there, but the hole was still open (so it recently fell out which we figured) so he just popped a new one in. The left tube was about 80% out so he took it out and easily popped a new one in as well. He said it was good news the the holes were still open and that is often seen with kids with severe eustachian tube dysfunction. He said it's the body's way of naturally draining the fluid...which is the purpose of the tubes...but since they had so recently fallen out it was just as easy to put new tubes in and not worry extra fluid building up if the holes did in fact close with time. She'll likely have tubes for quite some time and require new sets each time they fall out. When she is a little older we will talk about permanant "t-tubes" if she still requires them. The doctor said it was likely that Zoya wasn't hearing great with all that wax! This doctor is FABULOUS! So nice when you find one who really loves what they do and cares about their patients so much!

We prayed she would be happier coming out of anesthesia this time. And she was! (until we got home). She hasn't had a procedure done in over a year, but with all of her prior surgeries, she was just miserable and very upset for an hour afterwards. It was awful because nothing we did helped. This time they gave her some medicine to relax her before hand...they've always done this but this time was different because the doctor was ON TIME! And they took her back right when the medicine was kicking in. She was so funny to see so loopy like that! I kissed her and told her if she was a good girl she could have some m&m's when she woke up. Don't you know as soon as they took us back (she was happy and loopy still) she said in her best drunken sailor voice, "m&m's" over and over and over again! We just cracked up. That girl does NOT forget a thing (well except the rules every now and again and how to listen sometimes, and the fact that she is not allowed to poke her baby sister in the eyes....but the "important" things...she never forgets ;)). So of course we were in the car on the way home when the fun medicine started wearing off...she was quite a handful for about 45 minutes. She insisted on getting down and walking by herself, but she could barely hold her head up, let alone walk! She was still very wobbly and had jello legs but in her head couldn't figure out why she couldn't walk. That was pretty fun....but after about an hour she was back to her happy self again!

The best news is that she doesn't even have to miss a week of swimming...she will be happy to know that! Thanks for your prayers for our Zoya girl!

Mila's FIRST Birthday!!!

We are so blessed that Mila got to spend her very first birthday with us, her family! This is something that, unfortunately, most former orphans do not have the pleasure of doing. Many spend their first (and many more) birthdays in an orphanage without a family. Our sweet jelly bean (or should I start calling her 'meatball'...you'll see what I mean in the pictures) will never have to celebrate a birthday outside of her family! We love any reason to party, but celebrating birthdays with our sweet girls? There's just nothing better!



"It's my party and I'll cry if I want to!"



HAPPY FIRST BIRTHDAY MILA!!

Mila's Birth Day

Tomorrow marks a day that we, as Mila's family, will celebrate...the day this glorious child was brought into the world. But what about her biological family? Surely they will not celebrate the day that likely brought so much distress to them. I have no idea how the day went, or what kind of pain and anguish her biological family went through when they learned of her diagnosis, or what emotions they may be experiencing at this very moment.  Did they learn she had Down Syndrome the moment she was born? Or did they hold her and love her for moments, hours, or days before they learned of her diagnosis? Did they grieve the loss of their daughter, knowing they live in a society where she isn't welcome, wanted, or valued? Did they cry thinking of how their precious child would have no opportunities in their country? Did they cry when they chose to sign their names on the line terminating their rights as her parents? Are they thinking of her, wondering if she is alive or dead, today, the day before her first birthday? Are they wondering how big she is by now or what her personality is like? Do they let their mind's wonder what it would be like had they chosen to raise her? How can they live with not knowing?  Are they at peace or are they being tormented by their decision? Did they walk away in disgust, asking "why me?" and never look back?

I'll never know the answers to these questions, this side of heaven anyways. But, how can we celebrate Mila's birthday without giving thought to her beginning...after all that is what a birthday is all about. For our girls, birthdays have come to mean more than a celebration of their beginning...more than looking back to the day they were born (simply because we can't see that day, try as we might). For our girls, birthdays are a celebration of the life they've lived thus far, the growth and spirit they've managed to pack into a year. For Mila, this birthday is a celebration of survival through her first tumultuous year of life. There is so much to celebrate tomorrow. Mila's life is a miracle. We don't take any one of her days for granted knowing so easily what could have, might have been. But her life was God's plan from the beginning of time and tomorrow that is what we will celebrate!