I Seem To Be Missing My.....

Mind? No...that's a completely separate post! Haha!

I seem to be missing my socks, and shoes, and many other little items lately! I've never had as many single mismatched socks as I have since a cute little chick moved into our house!  Not to mention the random teeny tiny pink sock that's NOT mine that shows up in my purse! Whose to blame? None other than sticky fingers Zoya! She ALWAYS has to have items in her hands. Her favorite are socks or shoes or Daddy's ties or other clothing items. I put something one place and the next thing I know it's missing because she has taken it and traveled all around the house and left it (sometimes HID it) somewhere! She finds any teeny tiny opening....such as the little handle openings on my wicker basket....and hides things in there! It is becoming quite funny to find the little surprises that she leaves places! Today I went to work and I was looking for my keys in my purse and I pulled out one of her socks.  Once I found her drumstick in a kitchen drawer!  She is always putting things inside other things....it's her FAVORITE thing to do! We've lost quite a few items this way! But every time I find one I just laugh! This little thief even has a special cart to throw her stolen belongings into.  She just walks by looking ever so innocent and then when nobody is looking, she grabs something and throws it in the cart!!

 As you can see here, she has my shoes, Daddy's shirt, and of course the baby doll!

She is even really good at hiding so she doesn't get caught! Has anyone seen Zoya?

How about now? Does this shot help?

And a break to kiss and love on her baby....

And this is the innocent look I get when I say, "Zoya have you seen my shoes?"

I'll take a thousand missing socks and finding drumsticks in my kitchen drawer and running around looking for the other shoe for ten minutes if it means I can keep her forever :)

Therapy at Toys R Us! and Walking :)

So Zoya had been walking about 20% of the time and mostly when we made her walk or bribed her with food. She could walk and progressively could walk further and stronger, but still crawled everywhere most of the time.  Then I took a sick day on Wednesday and it was like all of a sudden (starting Wednesday afternoon) she was walking EVERYWHERE. She's walking 80-90% of the time now as her main mode of transportation. She will crawl if she's tired, but mostly she's walking!! What happened to walking half the time? Not this super star! She went from 0 to 60 and didn't stop in between!

One thing I think that really helped her was that last weekend my brother and I took her to Toys R Us thinking it would motivate her to walk. It worked :)  We didn't put her in the cart at all.  She did like holding onto the side of the cart at times and pushing, but mostly she walked from one isle to the next, stopping frequently to check out the toys.  So it didn't seem like work to her and she had fun!  She is a very curious kid and naturally she wanted to see what was on all the shelves (and touch everything too!). While we were there, we were getting ready to leave and Zoya was walking by my side all on her own. A boy walked past us with a HUGE toy and Zoya did a 180 and practically RAN after that boy! I couldn't believe she didn't even look unsteady or anything...she looked like she was walking her whole life!! Oh and I'm confident this child is 100% Americanized now. You know why? Because when we were there, she picked up a (very heavy) Magna Doodle and tried with all her might to throw it into the cart! When she couldn't do it, she signed "help" and so I help her put it into the cart to acknowledge the fact that she asked. I tried to take it out but she caught me and pushed it back in! So I had to wait until she wasn't looking to put it back (haha).

So Friday evening I took her again and she just loves walking around Toys R Us. Although she is still somewhat unsteady, she can walk pretty far before melting to the floor or grabbing onto a shelf to steady herself (I'd say about 50 feet). We also took her for a walk outside and she walked all over, from sidewalk to grass to street and back and was able to keep her balance! What a big girl my baby is...so happy and sad all at once. I remember meeting Zoya and thinking she might never walk after I saw her teeny atrophied little legs. And now to see her walking? It's enough to remind me that she has really beat the odds that she was up against!

So here are some pictures from our two trips to Toys R Us! Sorry the quality is so bad, they were taken on my cell phone.

Looking for her first car, you know she's only 14 years away from being 16 (YIKES!!!)

 not a fan of this one!

Ummm what did I do wrong?

Uncle Bub picked this one out....it even comes in pink :)

She's livin on the edge...

She finally settled on this one, which means we have to move to the country now! I mean look how happy she is!!

She's signing help, apparently she wanted to take all the boxes off the shelf!

Walking girl....

Has anyone seen Zoya? NO she's NOT for sale!

Softball player in the future?

So there you have it, sick of therapy in your living room? Go to Toys R Us!!

Proving Herself

Let's face it. Zoya will always have to work a little harder to prove her worth to others simply because of the stigmas that are attached to Down Syndrome.  It will take a little longer for some people to see the gift that she is.  Some people will miss out completely on her gifts because they already have incorrect preconceived notions about her. It's a truth that she will face every day of her life.

 Through the adoption process and when we returned home with Zoya, we constantly heard, "Wow you are amazing people for doing this," which really bugged me. I just cringed every time I heard it. It took me a while to figure out why it bothered me so much. Part of the reason was that when people said this, it implied that being Zoya's mom was a task...a chore. I understand that people think we sacrificed a lot to adopt Zoya, and in a sense we did, but all the things we sacrificed were replaced by a far more beautiful and worthy "thing" better known as Zoya and all the lessons she has taught us. 

But lately...people have started seeing what we see. You know how I know? Because now I hear "You guys are so blessed to be her parents" more often than I hear, "She is so lucky to have you as her parents."  And when I hear that I just smile real big because I know they're seeing exactly what we see!

Go Steelers!

 There is no choice in this one...Zoya is a Steelers Fan! I think the Basile side of the family would disown us if we didn't bring her up to love the Steelers as much as they do! Here she is with Grandpa B! As you can see she shares his excitement for the Steelers!

Here she is yelling at the team to get their act together! I guess it's never too early to start being a Steelers fan!

Down Syndrome Awareness Month and People-First Language

So I'm a few days behind the ball on this one....but October is Down Syndrome Awareness Month. My plan is to do a few posts about Down Syndrome-related issues to raise awareness.  Anything you'd like to know about Down Syndrome?  Ask anything!

Here's something I'd like you to know because....well because it just bugs me when people do this. I know people aren't doing this with bad intentions, they're doing it because they've never thought about it before. 

PEOPLE-FIRST LANGUAGE!

What is that? Well simply it means that you put the child first and their disability second when speaking about a child with a disability.  So many times I've heard things like "Zoya is a Down Syndrome baby" or "My friend loves Down Syndrome babies," or "Down Syndrome people are so sweet" or "Down Syndrome kids {insert generalization here}" or "Downs Kids" (which is not even right because Down Syndrome has no "S" on the end...it was named after a Dr. John Langdon Down, a doctor who discovered DS...it was not named after someone who had the Syndrome).  Anyways, I digress!  First, Zoya is not a down syndrome baby, that is NOT who she is. Down Syndrome is simply a part of who Zoya is. She is a child first...a child who happens to have Down Syndrome in her "All About Me" list. When people say Down Syndrome first, it makes me feel like that's all they see. So instead, just say, "children/child with Down Syndrome." I know it may sound nit-picky to some of you who don't have a child with a disability, but it's a matter of respect for Zoya and others with Down Syndrome. When people say Zoya first and Down Syndrome second, it makes me feel like they are seeing Zoya for Zoya and not seeing only Down Syndrome. I know professionals who work with children with special needs who don't use people-first language and they have admitted that they never thought to do that or were never taught that was the right way to refer to people with Down Syndrome. So it's more than an issue of being politically correct here (which I'm sometimes not)....it's an issue of seeing the child for who they are first, and understanding that their disability is only a part of who they are.

Zoya is who she is and Down Syndrome is just a piece of her beautiful puzzle!

Her Legs Were Made for Walking (and Q & A #2)

Here are a couple of videos of the walking girl.....(remember she was being motivated by crackers and the dog....so although shes walking GREAT...she still only does it when shes motivated or when SHE wants to). In the one video you will see Mya snatch the cracker right out of my hand and Zoya thinks it's pretty funny :)

Question and Answer Post



Where did you get the flashcards in the video?


TJ Maxx and Marshalls….I couldn’t find the one set that I wanted (First Words) so I ordered them from Walmart.com for $6 and free shipping. I also made my own flashcards in the categories of food, clothing, and body parts….printed them out and laminated them and they work great. She really does like the touch and feel flashcards though…that was a good place to start because they got her attention quickly and she enjoyed feeling the different textures on the cards. They are called “My First Touch and Feel Picture Cards.” They make them in these categories: Animals, Colors and Shapes, Numbers, Things that Go, and First Words. If you google that you will get all kinds of results, but the cheapest ones I could find were on the Walmart site. Prior to starting with these cards we worked on the most important toddler vocabulary though which of course is: more, all done, want, help, no, yes, eat, drink, play, please, and nice (to name a few). We didn’t use cards for these words, but just everyday experiences to teach her these.


How did Zoya learn so many signs so fast?

Other than being a rock star you mean?  I have to brag about her a little you know. We started teaching her the sign “more” in Ukraine and she picked up on it pretty quickly. Once home we started with some other important words like eat and drink and all done. She seemed to pick up on them very quickly so we bought the Signing Times Set of DVDs and flash cards. She watches the Baby Signing Times videos the most. She LOVES them and watches one every night before bed. I took a graduate sign language course and taught special education so I knew a lot of signs from those two things. I also have an ASL dictionary and when I see a teachable moment, if I don’t know the sign, I just look it up. We use signs when we talk to her (for example, I will say let’s go take a bath, and sign “bath”). It usually only takes about a week or two for her to pick up on the sign and start using it herself. We have had to modify some of them to meet her fine motor developmental stage, but we know exactly what she means for each of her signs. It has been awesome and having her sign has really cut down on the whining and has opened up our communication! I highly recommend the Signing Times Series.



What was the most pleasant and unpleasant surprises on your adoption journey?

The most pleasant surprise was definitely how our community of family and friends surrounded with so much love and support. Shawn and I were always the people who liked to help others. We never asked others for help or thought we really needed anyone else. We learned that we are so blessed to have so many family and friends who love us so much. We learned that sometimes we need to ask others for help and we need other people to share in our highs and lows. Being on the receiving end filled us with love and gratitude.

The most unpleasant? Umm other than the orphanage diapers for the first few weeks? Haha. I would have to say the most unpleasant surprise of our adoption journey was hearing that people in Eastern Europe really thought we wanted to adopt Zoya so we could sell her body parts. People seriously believed that. I guess they thought that because they cannot fathom why in the world we would want a child they view as broken and sick and a curse. They were very suspicious of us and our intentions. I never would have imagined they actually believed we wanted Zoya for her organs. Yes that would be the most unpleasant surprise of our adoption experience.

Living A Compelling Life...and other ramblings...

Today was the first day we left Zoya in the nursery at church. We had arranged to tour the nursery and the 2's classroom before the service started to see which would suit her better. I was a nervous wreck as it was because this was the first time we were leaving her with people we didn't know and leaving her in a group setting with a bunch of other kids. I figured she wouldn't remember being with a bunch of kids in the orphanage, but I worried slightly this might remind her of her prior life. So as we were waiting to meet with the director of the children's program, Shawn noticed this boy (about 8 years old) laughing hysterically while looking at Zoya. This boy went and got his sister and looked right at Zoya, while laughing, and said, "LOOK AT HER FACE" and continued to laugh and smirk. I was beside myself and Shawn was pretty upset. I said to the boy, "What's so funny? I don't see anything funny!" And then the director came over just at that moment to start our tour. He is lucky because I had it in for him let me tell you!  At church, I cannot believe this happened. My heart was racing, I was FUMING mad at this 8 year old! I felt like screaming at him, I felt like crying.  I was SO upset. I know not everyone sees Zoya like we do. I get that. Nobody else will ever think she is quite as special as we do because we are her parents. But to laugh at my kid right in front of me because she LOOKS different. You just woke up the momma bear in me!  My claws came out and I was ready to fight (yes an 8 year old!).  I couldn't believe I was so mad at a little kid! I wanted to just yell at him and call him a little brat. I wanted him to see what we see in Zoya, but it seemed hopeless. Parents, teach your children compassion, seriously....if that's all you do....do THAT! Anyways....

She is really right between the two classrooms so we opted for the nursery for a few months and then we will transition her to the 2s classroom. She was eager to go in and play with all the toys and the kids. She waved bye bye with no reservation. I was trying to tell the workers everything I could jam in about Zoya and all her quirks but they were so busy checking other kids in I really didn't have time to say much. I did warn them she likes to touch everyone and sometimes hugs very hard and that she is not trying to be mean when she does this. So we left her there, and I watched her play and explore for a few minutes before I went into the service. The sermon was on Living a compelling life. The pastor got to a part in the sermon where he was talking about living a life in which we know we are constantly being observed by others and trying always to make Christ-like decisions.  He said, "when's the last time you acted in a way that was un-Christ like?" At that moment I leaned over to Shawn and whispered, "Oh crap, that would be about 5 minutes ago when I wanted to drop kick that boy who was laughing at Zoya!!!"  I still couldn't get un-mad at him though as hard as I tried.

The sermon was really inspiring and pushed me to reexamine how I can continue living a compelling life. We followed God's call to adopt Zoya but it can't end there. We need to continue living a compelling life in which we can affect other people and be an example of Christ's love.  I'd be silly to say I know what the future holds. I don't. Will God call us to adopt again? If I had to be 100% honest, I am hoping he doesn't. How could I say that after seeing how blessed we are with Zoya?  Well because international special needs adoption is hard, it's scary, its difficult, it's all unknown, its a risk (but I guess all good things in life are).  If you asked me a few months ago, I'd say this was our one and only adoption regardless of how God feels about it! We did our part, right?  To be honest, I don't really WANT to go through all that hassle again.  I don't really want to put my full trust in God again (isn't that awful?) I want control!  I struggle a lot with that.  It is so hard to let go of all the unknowns and just jump.  I laugh at myself because I can see the outcome and how God KNEW Zoya was meant to be ours.  I can see that I should have trusted him fully all along and never doubted him because he could see us as a family long before we ever could.  He knew we needed each other.  We have Zoya and she is such a blessing and we are so happy and content with this life.  But, this life is NOT about us or our comfort.  We need to abandon that idea, but it is oh so hard.  We are human.  I have no idea what we will be called to do, but I am hoping that when we are called...no matter what he asks, we will abandon all fears and jump again...whatever that means....I hope we can be open enough to be ready when he calls us to our next mission field (whatever that may be).  I feel God has bigger plans for us in the orphan and special needs ministry area and am praying that I can help our church move more toward a focus on those two areas. Our church needs it. 

So you're wondering how it went with Zoya?  We picked her up and as a teacher myself I knew to ask an open ended question to elicit the most honest response about how she did. So instead of saying, "Was Zoya a good girl?" (How do you answer no to that?!....) I said, "How did it go?" And the lady said, "Good, she had fun....you're right she does like to touch everyone and not everyone appreciates it."  Heart broken there. I would love to help our church start a children's program that knows just how to include kids who are differently-abled. A program that would reach out to all the families with children with special needs. Many of these families are afraid to come to church because they don't know how their children will be accepted. We need to reach out to these families and tell them we want them and need them and value them. After I was feeling kind of sad about not everyone appreciating Zoya, the director came over to me and said that it seemed to go well while she was in the room. She said sweet Zoya crawled over to one of the babies in a swing and put a blanket over her to cover her up! My sweet girl. This almost brought me to tears. She is demonstrating love and compassion all on her own, which means she feels loved and valued and treasured and nurtured. I'm so proud of her. She also said Zoya was signing "help" when she wanted to play with a toy a couple of times. She was asking permission to play with it!

It's so hard to let go and let her show the world she is worthy.  I feel like I have to brag about her just to open people's eyes to give her a shot sometimes.  She is capable of SO MUCH, if people would just give her a chance. Seeing that boy laugh at her today made me most sad because it was once again a cruel reminder that some people will write her off because she looks different, or not give her a shot because they have preconceived notions about her ability (or disability to them). They will truly miss out. For now I will continue loving this girl with all my heart and pray that others can some day look past her differences in order to see her gifts. She is full of gifts.

Oh, and just for fun, it was a year ago today that I became a blogger.  I enetered the blog world with THIS POST ANNOUNCING OUR INTENT TO ADOPT ZOYA.

Homecoming (Picture Overload!)

Shawn and I met in college 8 years ago. Today was our college's homecoming and since we live in the town of our college, we headed over for some fun. Zoya had a BLAST. I've never seen this girl have more fun than she did today!! She met so many new friends and had a blast WALKING all around! She started off crawling but that did not last long. She began walking all over the pavement where the alumni tent was set up! I couldn't keep up with her. At one point I turned around and she was signing "eat please" to some lady as she reached toward her plate!! At least she asked right?!?!  (This was after she had eaten two pieces of chicken, some corn on the cob, potatoes, crackers, cheerios, and a huge brownie!) We weren't sure how it'd go since Zoya usually goes down for her nap between 12 and 1. You would have never know that though seeing our girl today! She was like the energizer bunny and full of smiles only!  We hung out in the alumni tent for a while, then went up on the field to watch a few minutes of the football game, then we went to the kids area where they had a petting zoo and bouncy houses!  She has just now finally settled down in her crib upstairs for a late afternoon nap (3pm). I just cannot believe how much fun this girl had! She is always pretty happy but oh my today she was like a kid in Disney World! I think you will be able to tell how much fun she had from her beaming smile in all of the pictures!

Walking maniac! We are in SOOOOO much trouble!

Cute Family Photos...

Zoya kept asking Daddy to throw her in the air.....MORE she kept signing!

 Youcan't catch me!

Zoya made some new friends....

Zoya says, "How come nobody told me this walking thing is so much fun?"

Lovin on her Daddy

 "I'm a big girl"

I love this girl more than words can ever say!

 New ad for Mercyhurst College?

My silly monkey!

Such squeezable cheeks!

At the petting zoo....

If you remember, Zoya was pretty terrified of the inflatable bouncy house at her 2nd birthday party. Not so much anymore.....she LOVED this thing! She fussed a little when we had to come out of it! (nothing a cracker couldn't make all better though!)

This one is blurry but I had to share....it cracks me up....look at her hair and that expression!



Now I am ready for a nap!!!!!