School's Out For Summer!

Well even though I only had to go back to teaching for 3 days at the end of the school year, I'm still so excited to have 9 more weeks to spend with Zoya until I go back to work full time in the fall.  Shawn rearranged his work schedule so he could be home with Zoya for the three days I went back.  I missed her so much while I had to be at work, but knew it was only 3 days! In the fall, however, it will be a lot harder I'm sure. 

We decided that our best option for child care when we will both be working full time will be to have somoene come to our house and take care of Zoya.  We don't want to throw too much change at her, so this way her caretaker will change but her familiar environment will remain the same.  Shawn is on a four week rotating schedule so some weeks we will only need somoene for 15 hours, and the most we will ever need is 30 hours.  Zoya has been napping for about 2 hours and 45 minutes every day, so that takes a little guilt away too (knowing she will be sleeping for almost 3 hours of the time I am gone....hopefully!). So I registered on sittercity.com to try and find a caregiver, after asking a million people and  coming up empty. I got pretty terrified when I saw some of the profiles. Here are some samples,
"I am really good with dogs, I have also watched kids before." Seriously?
"I had my first child at 15 and I now have 9 children." Ummm that doesn't qualify you
"I have 3 dogs and 'some' cats." Cat lady???
So on Zoya's birthday we were on our way to go shopping and I said a quick prayer in the car asking God to lead me in the right direction or to send a great caregiver our way since I was pretty freaked out about the caregivers that I found on the sitter site. While shopping, I literally ran my cart into Zoya's new caretaker! This woman is amazing and I don't know why I never thought to ask her. She has a daughter with DS who is starting kindergarten in the fall (at the school I teach at) and so she will not have any children at home during the school day and actually said she wants to take care of Zoya and feels blessed to be able to do so! God is good!

Soooooo school's out for summer and we have tons of "things" to do, but not any huge plans.  Zoya has OT/PT/Speech each for one hour a week.  We also volunteer for an adaptive sailing program which is every Friday all day long during the summer, and Mondays we are hoping to have some play dates and visits with a play group of moms and kids from the school I teach at. We have a list of summer things we can't wait to do. Swimming, long walks, going to the beach, learning to love ice cream, blowing bubbles, helping Daddy cut the lawn with the new toy lawnmower, picnics with lots of juicy watermelon, cookouts, strolling in the red wagon, bird watching, catching fireflies, meeting new friends, writing our names in sidewalk chalk, and so much more!

Swimming. Check! (Although we still have to try out a big pool!)

Look at her beautiful long eyelashes!

She thought it was pretty funny when Mya jumped in. These two are becoming best friends!

She was watching Mya run in circles.

She's definitely not graceful!

Playing with Mya!

Ruffle Butt!

So stinkin' cute!

She is cracking up because Mya runs really fast right up to her and then runs away.

Look at this sweet innocent face! How could you not love her?

The attitude shot! Actually she is telling me "all done" playing outside.

Isn't this "kini" from her Grandpa and Grandma P. so cute? We had to accessorize!

Zoya has been learning so much and growing up so fast!! I can hardly believe it. Here she is sitting at the table (in her booster seat) feeding herself her lunch! During her OT sessions we've started working on stabbing food and moving the fork to her mouth and getting the piece off the fork into her mouth! Much harder than it actually seems! Zoya is doing great and prefers to be independent and feed herself rather than us feeding her! Way to go big girl!

Trying to "catch" a piece!

Zoya looking at Mya thinking, "You're gonna get in trouble!"

Zoya recently learned how to drink from a straw cup thanks to her tough OT! She had been on a bottle since we got home and we had been working with her with one of those rubbermaid squeezy sport straw cups. They are really good for teaching sucking from a straw as you can squeeze the bottle just a little so she gets some drink and eventually she learned to suck without needing us to squeeze (similar to the honey bear cup but cheaper). She would drink from the straw cup for a few sips, but still preferred the bottle mostly.  At her last OT session, her OT didn't give her a choice and only gave her the straw cup and Zoya cried and had a fit the entire time. After the OT left, Zoya gave us NO problems with drinking from a straw! We found these great Playtex no spill straw cups and Zoya is little miss independent now drinking all by herself!  These specific straw cups are great because they don't spill no matter what! You can tip them upside down, shake them, anything...and they still won't spill!  We decided to skip right over sippy cups because that requires her to tip her head back and kids with DS have a hard time doing that with their necks. These straw cups allow her to drink without tipping her head back! Straws also have more of a long term use, as we use them into adulthood, so this seemed more practical for her. We are working with an open cup as well.

Oh, and I tried pigtails today! Her hair is still a bit short for it, but I think she looks like a pixie!

Shawn and I were just discussing how fast Zoya is flying through stages! She is learning so much so quickly and we just want to teach her every second of the day since she is taking it all in so fast! Even when we're not actively trying to teach her something, she is learning! Her sign language is coming along wonderfully! She learned to sign, "bath." Every night our routine is the same. Dinner, play, bath, sleep.  She knows her routine and loves it and will sign telling us what is supposed to come next! Each night on the way upstairs I tell her "time to take a bath stinky girl" and I sign bath. Although we never actively taught Zoya (by moving her hands into correct position) the sign for "bath," she learned it and she showed us in the funniest way! Her Uncle Bub was visiting and while Zoya was pooping in her diaper one morning he said, "You're a stinky girl" (just like I say each night) and she signed, "BATH." We started cracking up! She also learned the sign for "dog" and she will pat her leg whenever we say "dog" or "Mya." Her new favorite sign is "sleep" and she signs it before nap time and bed time and whenever else she is tired! She is so close to walking and she REALLY wants to walk! She uses push toys and walks behind them but hasn't taken any steps on her own yet. We're waiting with excitement, but also realize we will probably lose 5 pounds from chasing her around when she starts walking! Nap time has been consistently better and she is back to napping (for now anyways) for about 2 and a half hours in her crib! One thing I think really helped, besides me rocking her in my baby  carrier for several weeks, was getting the room darkening curtains. We are just so proud of our sassy little diva and really are amazed with how fast she is learning!

Our Lovey Ray of Sunshine (Also Known As 'A Whole Bunch of Cute Pictures')

It has been nothing short of amazing looking at Zoya's transformation since meeting her almost three months ago. She is a different child than we met. She is becoming the child she was always meant to be. Every day this girl continues to amaze us in so many ways. Her capacity for love is unbelievable. She loves giving love and loves being loved. It's all she ever wanted and I'm sad to know she had to go almost two years without it and waiting each day for an opportunity to love and be loved. Can you imagine living without one single person on the planet loving you? Can you imagine living without ever having given your love completely to at least one other person? I can't. What a sad and lonely life that would be. Thankfully, that life is no more for Zoya!

Zoya is such a special little soul. She smiles a lot. Every time Shawn or I smile at her, she smiles back....EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. Even if she just got in trouble, or if she is crying....no matter what, when she receives a smile, she stops whatever she is doing and always gives one back. And I'm not talking a half hearted smile, I'm talking an all out true, heartfelt smile (squinty-eye and full toothed style)! She is teaching us to love better and love more without holding back. Just recently she started giving the most sincere hugs....those hugs you get or give when you haven't seen your best friend in years, or when your brother gets off the plane from Iraq....those tight "I will never be able to tell you how much I love you and I never want to let go" hugs. She wraps her arms around us and squeezes with all her might and then pulls back and just stares at us and smiles. She has also started giving kisses....LOTS of kisses.  Sometimes when I'm holding her but looking away, she will put her chubby little cherub hand on my cheek and turn my face toward her and plant a big wet kiss right on my lips and just smile.  She knows how to communicate love with no words better than any other soul I've ever known. Every time I tell her "I love you" she kisses me. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. Lately she has been asking us to love her! You know how? She signs, "baby" and that is her way of asking us to pick her up and hug her tight and rock her like a baby! She loves it. She gets a huge grin when I reach down to pick her up after she signs baby.  She also asks us to rub her tummy...she will lay down and look at us and start rubbing her belly, then stop and just stare at us until we rub her belly.  Tonight when I was putting her to sleep, she was asking me (by showing me) to rub her belly, and then rub her face and it was the cutest thing in the world! She is seeking out our love and asking us to love her. How many times I wish I felt free enough to ask someone else to hug me or rub my back or just ask for love. She loves to be loved on.

All of this from a cast-away orphan who was left to live a short, sad, and lonely life and death. I still get the most undescribable sick feeling when I think we almost said no, we almost didn't take this journey, we almost let excuses get in the way, and, ultimately, we almost left her there to die without ever having experienced the love we have to offer one another.....we almost missed out on all these hugs and kisses and smiles. What a shame that would have been for her yes of course, but what a shame that would have been for us. We would have missed out on a life time of love.  Truly she is showing us what genuine, heartfelt, unconditional, non-judgemental love looks and feels like.  I am so thankful we put the worries aside and trusted in God and answered His calling. We would have never known what we were missing out on. We would have never known 5,000 miles away sat THIS child, OUR child, locked in her lonely world. We would have gone on with our lives, going through the motions, putting one foot in front of the other, while missing out on the best thing that ever happened to us. God knew we needed Zoya, while all along we thought she needed us more.....how wrong we were.  We never forget, for one second, what a blessing Zoya is to our life...and I'm getting closer to the day where I forget she was never mine in the first place. Because, really, in God's plan, she was always our daughter anyway.

Here are some smiley pictures of our happy ray of sunshine:

Our Standing Star

Is Zoya the next Criss Angel Mind Freak? LOL...this picture looks like an illusion but it's an action shot of her falling on her butt, on purpose...she thinks it's hillarious!

Question and Answer Post

Does Zoya watch kids shows? If she does, is there any particular show like Sesame Street that she enjoys? I can only imagine that TV was not something they had access to????
Zoya doesn’t watch much TV. Her attention span is minimal and she just isn’t very interested but is starting to sit a little longer when I sit with her. I bought Signing Times and she watches those more (and better) than anything else. I love the Signing Time Series as it is a great language lesson…both for signing and new vocabulary, especially for a child who comes from a non-English speaking background. Right now we watch the Baby Signing Times DVDs and these hold her attention way better than the regular Signing Times DVDs.

She likes shows with real people and won’t even look at the TV if it’s a cartoon! Most of the time we put the TV on the music channels (without videos…it’s just music) and she seems to enjoy just listening while she flies from one place to another just exploring! Other than Signing Times, she likes Sesame Street (She likes the SS karaoke DVD we have…of course because it has music).

As far as having access to television in the orphanage...she did...somewhat.  The caregivers would watch "Ukraine's Got Talent" or something similar.  Many evenings and weekends, when the orphanage was more "lax," the TV would be on and the caregivers would be watching it. So she had seen TV but nothing that would be beneficial to her!

That looks so much like the zoo in our city! you aren't in the fort Wayne area are you?
Nope, I’m guessing not since I have no idea where Fort Wayne is! LOL. We are in Erie, PA.

How did you find out what the day to day life is like with a child who has Down Syndrome? Ex: how much supervision do they require on average, per age group? I have not found a single place to answer this question.
I taught special education (including student with Down Syndrome) for 6 years so I was able to learn a lot during that time. We also have done respite care for a cute little (very active) guy with Down Syndrome so we got to see what day to day (and overnight) can be like caring for a child with DS. Through my experiences I’ve learned that every child with DS is different. No two are the same. There is a spectrum from here to China as far as what abilities and needs people with DS posses. Some people with DS don’t require much more supervision than people without DS, while some require a whole lot more. Some people with DS will grow up to live independently (check out THIS LINK which talks about an award winning documentary about two adults with DS who get married and navigate through a pretty normal life). Some people with DS will require more supervision and may live at home forever, some may live in a group home. It all depends on the individual. You probably were unsuccessful finding an average because there is no average, it all depends on the child. Many parents saying caring for their child with DS is the same or even easier than caring for their children without DS. Other factors play in too: some people with DS may also have ADHD, or other behavior issues which require more supervision. The best way to find out what day to day life is like is to spend some time with people who have DS, while remembering that there is no formula for how much supervision or attention one child will need…it all depends on the individual child. Thanks for asking this question as I’m sure many people without children with DS may wonder what it’s like! Right now for us, and for Zoya, she requires just as much supervision and attention as most other 1 to 2 year olds. Since she has DS and has lived in an orphanage, right now she requires pretty constant supervision as everything in her little world is new and she is so curious to explore and doesn’t completely understand safety and will touch/pull/grab/eat anything new. For Zoya, I see her being able to spend some time unsupervised by adults (in the far future). Will she live with us forever or on her own or in assisted living? We don’t know yet but we are willing to happily accept any of those scenarios.

Did you start Zoya out in her own room or did she start out with you?
We started Zoya out in her own room in her own crib. We discussed this for a while and our options were: put her in her own room and crib and we sleep in our room, put her in her own room and crib and sleep on the floor next to her, have her in our room in a pack n’play, or sleep in our bed with us. After we spent time with her in our apartment in Ukraine we knew the last option would NEVER work. This girl tosses and turns and kicks and sits up and bends every which way while she sleeps! Neither of us got much sleep in Ukraine! We decided, after getting to know Zoya and her personality while in Ukraine, that we should start with her in her room as this was our long term goal and didn’t want her to get used to being in our room and then have to change yet another thing in her environment. We got a video baby monitor and pretty much stayed married to it the first few weeks home. This way we could see if Zoya was stirring or going to wake up and we could be there in a flash so she wouldn’t be scared. We worried she’d wake up and wonder where she was, but since we had the video monitor we could usually get there before she actually woke up to reassure her. Zoya is now at the point where she is very comfortable in her room and the only thing her room is used for is sleeping (at night) and dressing/changing. We don’t use her room for playing or anything else, so she knows at nighttime when we go up there that it is time to sleep. While we were first home we had to rock her completely to sleep and put her in her crib while she was sleeping. Recently she began wanting to be put in her crib after being rocked a little, but not completely asleep. So we rock her a little (lately she hasn't needed to be rocked at at all) and then put her in her crib while she is sleepy, but not completely asleep and we rub her belly and her face to get her relaxed and she has been able to get herself to sleep which shows she is more comfortable now. We also put a tshirt of mine (that had my scent) into her crib and this seems to comfort her.

How are the naps going?
For some reason sleep doesn’t come as easily to Zoya during the day as it does at night. When we were first home she would take 3 hour naps! Then came the nap protest at which point she developed a real fear of being left in her room in her crib during the daytime. I can’t explain why it is any different than at night. We were unsure if the protest was a behavior (a get-her-way sort of thing) or if she was scared. It didn’t take long to realize she was afraid…for some reason she was truly afraid of being left in her room at nap time. She would fall asleep in our arms and then wake the minute we put her in her crib. It got to the point that if we walked into her bedroom with her during the day she would tense up and start crying, worrying that we would start the nap time and leave her in there. She would get a terrible look of fear on her face. So we tried a million things, but the thing that is working at THE MOMENT is for me to bounce her to sleep in my baby k’tan carrier and let her sleep on my chest. For the past week she has done this and after about 40 minutes to an hour she will wake up and I will lay her down on the couch next to me where she will go back to sleep for about another hour. I was worried to start this routine with her thinking she’d need to be bounced to sleep and sleep on my chest until she is 18 but I soon realized that she NEEDS this. This is her time to know that she is 100% safe and that I will not leave her. For some reason I think her fear of abandonment peaks at nap time. I had to remind myself that emotionally, and in the area of attachment, Zoya is much like a one or two month old since that is how long she has been home. It would be acceptable for a one to two month old to sleep on her momma’s chest for nap time, so for now, Zoya has told us that this is what she needs and we will do it. Again, why it is different day as opposed to night, I really don’t know! (but I’m very very thankful she does well at night!) UPDATE: I’m writing this small because I’m afraid to jinx myself…but….yesterday I rocked Zoya to sleep in her bedroom and transferred her to her crib when she woke up. She slept in her crib for 30 minutes! Today, I attempted to do the same thing, except she didn’t want to be rocked and so I put her in her crib and she put herself to sleep for TWO HOURS AND FORTY MINUTES of a nap!!! Praise God! I didn’t even know what to do with myself! I sat outside in the sun and drank some iced tea and listened to the birds chirp for a little bit (and…okay, I did somewhat obsessively look at the video monitor…but still)…I had been dreaming of doing that since we returned from Ukraine!

I wanted to know about Zoya's name, its so lovely, was that her birth name or did you decided on this for her?
Zoya was her birth name. It is a Ukrainian name and it’s meaning is “life” (derived from the Greek name “Zoe”). We briefly thought about changing it, as many adoptive families do, to signify a new start, but quickly decided to keep it. One reason we kept it was because it is part of her heritage and some day, if she chooses to share her story with others, she will have a piece of her past always with her. Even though her past is sad and scary, it will always be a part of her. Another reason we decided to keep it was because of it’s meaning…life. We thought that was pretty symbolic seeing that Zoya’s only chance at life would be if she were adopted. There is a pretty cool story about how we chose Zoya and a sign that pointed us toward her by name. Click HERE to read it.
If you have any other questions, leave them in the comments section...I will start collecting for the next post to answer all your questions. Thanks to all of you for following and leaving such great, helpful, supportive comments! I read every single one and love hearing from you!

Zoyapalooza Bash!

On Saturday we had a great big party to celebrate Zoya's second birthday and her adoption! We were blessed by having so many friends and family to share the special day with! The weather held out and it didn't rain (much) until after the party was over! Zoya had a blast, despite not feeling her best (Thursday she developed another fever and has had the fever since then...the doctor says it must just be viral....I am blaming the vaccinations still!). Zoya got to meet so many of her fans for the first time! We realized just how much love and support we have and know this is how we were able to make it through the tough days of the adoption process.  We are so fortunate to have so many great friends and family who love and care about the three of us so dearly! Overall it was an awesome day to celebrate our special angel!

Here are a couple pics from her actual birthday.  We had fun shopping and going out to lunch at Chic Fil A. She is deathly afraid of the big cow mascot though! haha

And some pictures from Zoyapalooza:

More interested in the keys than her gift!

We bought this cute outfit on our shopping date. I think she looks like a little 80s rock star!

Zoya's birthday cake that Momma made!

Zoya and some of her friends

So many friends!

Attempt at a family photo (since we only have like 2!)

The bouncy house was a huge hit...for everyone except Zoya..haha! She was a little hesitant of this big balloon..I'm not sure why I'm pretty sure they had one at the orphanage...LOL, kidding!

Changed her outfit during half time! Getting ready for her cake.

Here is Zoyas smash cake....

This was the extent of the smash...she stuck her foot in it and was done! The sweet little girl on the right said "Grandma, we don't have to eat the cake that Zoya's foot was in do we?" :)

Zoya and Grandma B.

Zoya eating some party food...she loved the meatballs.

I'm getting really tired guys....

Zoya was so tired when I took her upstiars at 7:30 she pointed at her crib and needed no rocking and went right to sleep.

Zoya is helping Daddy put together her cool sand/water table that she got for her birthday!

Zoya is jammin with her drum full of music toys! Look for her music video in about 15 years!

The day was amazing and Zoya enjoyed all the people.  She was on the look out for sunglasses she could steal. She got lots of hugs and kisses and smiles all day long.  I took her inside once because I was worried she might need a break, but she just kept pointing out the door like, "Take me back out there lady, I'm are missing my party!"

The best part of the whole day is that we raised $400 to donate to Reece's Rainbow! Instead of gifts we asked for donations to help another child find their forever family.  Of course we still got a few gifts...but lots of people gave a donation.  We are going to split the money in half and have chosen two children from Zoya's orphanage to donate the money to. We are so excited about this and know how big of a difference money can make in the adoption process.  The average cost is $25,000, which is enough to scare many otherwise willing adoptive families into not adopting. If you've never checked out REECE'S RAINBOW WEBSITE please do! Without this ministry Zoya, along with hundreds of other orphans, would have never found their forever families!