Along this path we've taken we have had some signs...not bright flashing neon signs, but close! Prior to committing to Zoya, we waivered back and forth about adoption all together. After we got past our selfish worries, our sticking points were mostly the finances, and long travel time. During this time, every time I would ask God "is this what you are asking us to do?" I would get a small sign like something in the mail about Down Syndrome, or see a beautiful child with Down Syndrome smiling at me. One time I was talking out loud to God and said to him, "just hit me over the head with this adoption if it is what you want us to do." I turned on the TV two seconds later and there was a show about the orphan crisis across the world. I sat there, looked up, and said out loud, "seriously?"
On September 13th, we decided to commit to adoption of a child with down syndrome. It took us quite a long time from first thinking about adopting, to actually making our commitment known to each other out loud. After church that day, Shawn said, "so what do we need to do to go about getting a home study done?" I was speechless, as Shawn and I didn't talk much about adoption for the two weeks prior to this day. I asked him "what convinced you this is our path?" He said when he saw Zoya's picture he knew it was our child. This was so exciting to me because I had looked at a million pictures and had no idea how we would be led to choose our child. After church we drove our separate ways because I had a hair appointment. On the way I wondered how he knew it was Zoya and not another child we should commit to. I started questioning how he knew this was our child. When I walked in to the salon, there was a big display with a SIGN that said "ZOYA." I couldn't believe my eyes. Seriously? I said again! "Zoya" was a new nail polish line the salon was selling. Still, I couldn't believe I got such a great "sign" to assure me this was God’s plan. Of course we haven’t made decisions solely on these “signs” but it sure is nice every now and again to get a little reminder that we are on the right path.
I trust that we will continue to see little signs along our path to Zoya. The signs give us peace and assurance and remind us that there are some things in this world bigger than our own understanding and sometimes we have to let go of the control, put our trust in a higher power, and hold on for the ride!