Signs along the way.....

Along this path we've taken we have had some signs...not bright flashing neon signs, but close! Prior to committing to Zoya, we waivered back and forth about adoption all together. After we got past our selfish worries, our sticking points were mostly the finances, and long travel time. During this time, every time I would ask God "is this what you are asking us to do?" I would get a small sign like something in the mail about Down Syndrome, or see a beautiful child with Down Syndrome smiling at me. One time I was talking out loud to God and said to him, "just hit me over the head with this adoption if it is what you want us to do." I turned on the TV two seconds later and there was a show about the orphan crisis across the world. I sat there, looked up, and said out loud, "seriously?"

On September 13th, we decided to commit to adoption of a child with down syndrome. It took us quite a long time from first thinking about adopting, to actually making our commitment known to each other out loud. After church that day, Shawn said, "so what do we need to do to go about getting a home study done?" I was speechless, as Shawn and I didn't talk much about adoption for the two weeks prior to this day. I asked him "what convinced you this is our path?" He said when he saw Zoya's picture he knew it was our child. This was so exciting to me because I had looked at a million pictures and had no idea how we would be led to choose our child. After church we drove our separate ways because I had a hair appointment. On the way I wondered how he knew it was Zoya and not another child we should commit to. I started questioning how he knew this was our child. When I walked in to the salon, there was a big display with a SIGN that said "ZOYA." I couldn't believe my eyes. Seriously? I said again! "Zoya" was a new nail polish line the salon was selling. Still, I couldn't believe I got such a great "sign" to assure me this was God’s plan. Of course we haven’t made decisions solely on these “signs” but it sure is nice every now and again to get a little reminder that we are on the right path.

I trust that we will continue to see little signs along our path to Zoya.  The signs give us peace and assurance and remind us that there are some things in this world bigger than our own understanding and sometimes we have to let go of the control, put our trust in a higher power, and hold on for the ride!

Mission Accomplished!

We JUST finished our homestudy.  We spent last night and today cleaning, scrubbing, gathering millions of pieces of paperwork, and saying many prayers.  I tried not to think about it at all until last night when I couldn't STOP thinking about it.  Today Shawn had to work right up until our homestudy appointment at 2:30 so that helped keep him busy.  For me it was a little harder not to get nervous! Some great friends took me out to breakfast to keep my mind calm. 

The visit went well.  I don't know why I was so nervous!  Our homestudy should be complete in about 2 weeks!
Next on the agenda is starting to gather all of the paperwork Zoya's country requires us to have.  Theres only about a million things they need so that shouldn't be so bad! But it's a small price to pay for the gift we will be receiving. 

Today we are one step closer to having our little angel in our arms forever.  It still seems like an eternity away and this is just the beginning.  I think about the day we will get to meet her and hold her and love her, but I can only imagine what that day will be like.  It is very difficult to think that our child is alone, sad, sick, and needing us so badly.  I pray that God will take care of her and bring loving caretakers to her until we can get there.  I hope she knows, if even in the tiniest part of her little heart, that someone in this world loves her, wants her, and can't wait to be her mommy and daddy!

Questions

We are fully aware that by doing something out of the ordinary with our lives (in this case adopting a baby with Down Syndrome from Eastern Europe), we will face many questions from well-intentioned family and friends, and possibly criticism from those who don't understand why we are doing what we're doing.  We have come to a peace with our decision, or else it never would have been made!  We know the process won't be easy, we know it won't be easy when Zoya is home.  "Easy" actually doesn't fit anywhere into this entire process!  We have looked past the adoption process....yes, it will be difficult to bond with a child who has been in an orphanage her entire life.  We KNOW that, we are preparing for and praying about all the difficult details we know will be coming our way.  However, we know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God has led our lives here...exactly right here.  Who can question that?

One of the blogs I follow is written by a mom who is also in the process of adopting an orphan with Down Syndrome.  She posted a commical, yet accurate picture of some of the questions we will face throughout this adoption journey.  It made me laugh, but also prepared me for some good answers to give! Shawn and I have thought about ALL these questions!  Check it out:

http://oureyesopened.blogspot.com/2009/09/snappy-comebacks.html