Church is another example of why I feel this way. In addition to the FACE COMMENT sometimes I just feel like there isn't a place for her at church. It's awful to feel this way because IT'S CHURCH! I've been unsuccessfully working on a special needs component for the kid's ministry program at church. It's been unsuccessful mostly because I am a little voice in a big world. The main problem? I truly feel like she is not wanted or accepted by some people in the children's program just because she is different. I didn't make these feeling up, I base them off of some comments that were made to us about Zoya. I guess people don't know how to react to something they're not familiar or comfortable with. Did you ever notice (those of you that have kids with special needs) that within the first minute of talking to someone about your child, you KNOW how they feel about children with special needs? Anyways, now I'm rambling.
My point is, it is so darn hard when the world doesn't see your child like you do. I thought I wouldn't have these feelings because I knew what I was getting myself into being the parent of a child with special needs....let me rephrase that, I THOUGHT I knew what I was getting myself into :) You can never really know what it is like until you are part of the "parents of a child with special needs" club....biological or adopted. I, like many new parents I'm sure, am so taken aback by my fierce love for Zoya. I would do ANY.THING for my daughter. I would walk through fire, fight a lion, jump off a cliff to save her....the funny thing I'm struggling with.....giving up my pride to fight. Fighting for what I know is right for her is a given....I will stand and fight for what she deserves....but that doesn't mean it's easy to stand in front of a bunch of people who think they know your child because they read a report on her and tell them you think their professional opinion is wrong (and it doesn't mean those people don't make you waiver in what you know is right in your heart). In fact, its downright hard to go against the grain. I don't like to ruffle feathers or draw attention to myself, but damn it I will do it for my daughter and I will put my pride aside. Because I love this child so fiercely and see every ounce of the blessing she is, I'm taken aback when other people just see her as "Down Syndrome." To so many, that defines her. To me it is simply a part of who she is. She doesn't fit into the perfect box that the world created...but that box is really overrated anyways. If more people fit into Zoya's box we'd have a pretty happy, loving, accepting, giving, trusting, damn near perfect world.