Little Sisters!

These pictures were too cute not to share! They show a good comparison in sizes for the two little ones! I guess I should have gotten Sofia the 2T top like Mila! (Sofia's is 18-24 months and already getting small!)

"Should have had a V-8!" 

Making faces at the dog! 

 (Many people ask what Mila's necklace is for. It's a Baltic Amber Teething necklace! Even though she's not currently teething, we keep it on because it's become her "soothie"...she rubs it when she is sad or tired!)

This is Mila's stare down! Sofia took her toy, Mila stole it back (in her right hand) and then threw it to the ground as she stared Sofia down like this! LOL! 

Both babes are getting haircuts (just trims) on Wednesday! 

Please say a little prayer for Sofia. She had her tubes and sedated ABR on Tuesday. She had an allergic reaction to the tape adhesive they used to tape her eyes down during the procedure. That cleared up with some benedryl, but she's not been herself emotionally since. When she came out of the procedure I saw fears for maybe the first time ever. She was afraid of the nurses, of the beeping, and of the oxygen. It makes me wonder what old memories the procedure stirred up. She's showing some behaviors that we haven't seen since the first month or two home. We'll work through it and she'll be just fine, but it's frustrating to see such little things cause such big set backs in our kiddos sometimes :( And more frustrating to not be able to help much, or know what she's thinking/feeling. 

5 Months Home!!!!

Sofia has been home for FIVE months now! She is snuzzling her way into our hearts one wild moment at a time ;) She has grown so much in these five months, both physically and emotionally! We joke that if she would have been our first child, she may have been our only because her personality is SO LARGE and because she does AT LEAST one thing per day that scares the daylights out of us!

She is so very close to walking and has taken 7-8 steps at most! She is backing herself up to walls to stand up and take off! I remember when Zoya started doing this and remember being just as nervous for the crashes that inevitably happen while they figure out their legs!! She prefers to be standing up and cruising and on the go as much as she's able. I think I've only ever seen her on her belly laying still when she is sleeping or after having a tantrum ;) She really doesn't stay very still for very long, that's for sure! She's imitating everything (I cough, she coughs! Shawn sneezes, she fake sneezes)...she's so silly and keeps us laughing! She loves doing shape puzzles and any problem-solving activities. As each day passes, she reminds us more and more of Zoya in a lot of ways! She is a boundary pusher and sharp as a tack! Even when it appears she's not paying attention, she is watching every move and hearing every word! I do not think she will ever lack confidence or need much encouragement to accomplish what SHE wants to accomplish (as long as it's her idea haha). She loves attention and praise and takes pride in her accomplishments. Recently she has started enjoying playing with the dog! She says "mama," "dada," "no" (hahaha), and "more." She'll have tubes put in to drain the fluid in her ears and the wax removed on Thursday so please say a prayer as it will be her first time under anesthesia!

Sofia definitely prefers us to others. We find it funny that she is so wild and crazy and outgoing, yet when new people come to visit she will not go to them and clings to us! I love it :) She knows her mama and daddy are safe and that makes me so happy! With her being so independent I'm trying to seek out times that she needs us more in order encourage the bonding process both ways and when new people are visiting seems to be a good opportunity to do that! Zoya was so dependent on us emotionally, and Mila was so dependent on us physically and in every way since she was much younger. It's taking Sofia longer to trade in some of that independence but she's getting there! We've seen so much progress and every day feels more and more like life before her couldn't have possibly existed! We feel so unworthy of the gift of Sofia (and our other girls) and are so thankful we get to share our lives together!!!

Now for some Sofia pictures :)

She loves taking things out and putting things in! She and Mila both have a love of shoes! 

Her first popsicle! I bought them for Mila after her surgery but since Mila wanted nothing to do with them Sofia and Zoya ate them! 

One of those rare belly occasions! She didn't get a good nap and was tired at Zoya's dance performance! 

T.I.R.E.D! 

She's gonna be doing handstands before she walks I think LOL! 

I love this one! One of the few "non-crazy-out-of-control-smile" pictures we have of her :) You can see beneath the wild woman is a sweet little girl whom we are so thankful for! I just love her curls too!! She needs a little trim but I'm so afraid that the curls will be gone!

Ready to take on the world! 

Happy 5 Months Home to our Fearless Curlie Girlie! 

Happy 5th Birthday Zoya!

I can't believe my baby girl is no longer 4! Somehow FOUR seemed like the last baby year to me. Zoya had a great day today. She got to celebrate her birthday at school. She must have really enjoyed her day because when we left she said "more school please!" Usually by the end of her morning she's ready to come home, but not today! She talked about how she liked passing out her special snack to the class! She got to eat chocolate chip pancakes for dinner and ice cream cake for dessert! She loved her gift and was pretty good at using it! 

I couldn't help but think about how different her life could have been had we not answered God's call to bring her home! Praise God for LOVING her and saving her! She could have been celebrating her 5th birthday by rocking on a cold hard cement floor of an adult mental institution. BUT instead she celebrated by rocking in her mama's arms before bed! She could have celebrated while she laid tied to a bed so she didn't bother anyone. Instead, she celebrated by snuggling in bed reading her special birthday book! She could have easily been spending her 5th birthday staring at a wall, bored to tears. Instead she celebrated by riding her new scooter in the fresh air. She could have been denied an education because she was born with Down Syndrome. Instead, she attended an AMAZING school with typical peers with teachers and friends who love her for her! She could have had food shoveled down her throat at break-neck speed. Instead she had her favorite special meal lovingly prepared and enjoyed each and every bite slowly. She could have spent her 5th birthday alone, feeling worthless and unwanted. Instead, she celebrated with family and friends who love her greatly.  Thankfully, all those "coulds" were never in the cards for Zoya because that was NEVER God's plan for this sweet girl! But today, as I thanked God for her life over and over, I thought of all those 5 year old orphans whose lives fall into the "could" category, except instead of a hypothetical, it's a reality. A cold, hard, reality for a tiny little person like our Zoya girl. 

I woke up with the "somewhere out there" song from Fivel in my head today, picturing my itty bitty newborn Zoya girl all alone in the hospital. Her records read, "birth mother did not wish to feed her or see her, abandoned the child." I thought a lot about this day 5 years ago and what it looked like, for Zoya, for her birth mother, and for us. I have no idea what I was doing on her birthday. Each year on her birthday I think of her birth mother and wonder if she's doing anything special to remember this anniversary. I wonder if she even knows if Zoya is alive. I pray that somehow her heart can feel the positive energy and feel that Zoya is okay. It will always be so strange to me that someone SO VITAL TO OUR LIFE will always be unknown. Someone so deeply connected to us in a way that is unfathomable...someone we'll never meet face to face (at least not this side of heaven). I am thankful for her birth mother. I'm thankful that even though I'm sure she was scared to death to find herself pregnant at 16 years old, that she chose to bring Zoya into this world. I will never know the effect that Zoya's birth had on her birth mother. I will never understand how the decision to leave her at the hospital shaped her life. I will never know what feelings her birth mother had surrounding her birth and subsequent diagnosis of Down Syndrome. I have to believe that she loved Zoya as much as she was able to. I will never be able to wrap my head around the fact that Zoya was not born of my own flesh. What I do know is that God is in the business of redemption. I am so thankful he chose to redeem our lives and Zoya's. We are so unworthy of His great love and sacrifice. We are so thankful that on this day 5 years ago someone (Jesus) was "thinking of her and loving her tonight" (even if it couldn't be us). I know on this day five years ago she heard Jesus whisper into her heart "hold on and rest in my arms while you wait." 

Waiting to open her birthday present! 

She asked to take it outside right away! 

Trying to catch up to Mila! 

She has always LOVED having happy birthday sung to her! Right before this she also made us have a surprise party for her! Zoya always has to have a surprise party LOL! 

Make a wish, baby! 

Sofia finally enjoyed ice cream! She can now tolerate cold foods! Yay because her birthday is in a few months :) 

Beneath the pale moonlight, Mama and Daddy are thinking of you, and loving you tonight!