Thursday, May 31, 2012

Almost 4 years old, Almost a Death Sentence

As Zoya's fourth birthday approaches, I can't help but think what this day could have meant for her had she remained in her orphanage.

Had she not been adopted, she'd not be celebrating with cake and balloons, but rather with a one way ticket to an adult mental institution :( Most children with special needs in Eastern Europe are transferred to an adult mental institution when they turn four. The "lucky" ones don't go until they're closer to 5 or 6. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt, if Zoya were still in that orphanage, she'd be facing a transfer. I know this to be true because the orphanage that she lived in is closing, which means some of those children...even children UNDER four years old, are being transferred to the adult mental institution. The thought of that crushes me with a weight so heavy I can barely breathe.
Zoya's first night of freedom!
Our past two years together flash before my eyes. Images of Zoya and the amazing soul she is keep popping into my head, paired with the paralyzing realization of what really could have been.




So often over the past couple of weeks, I've looked at my sweet daughter and been so saddened to think of her being transferred and how scary that would be for her. Can you imagine this sweet face confined to a crib, laying in her own urine and being neglected and abused, simply because nobody cared?




Can you picture this smiling face wasting away day after day, possibly being tied down and drugged to keep her from causing any trouble?


She is still just a baby in so many ways....four years old is too young to face such a terrible outcome. Shawn and I kick ourselves now every time we think of all the excuses we came up with as to why we shouldn't adopt Zoya. Of course we never would have known, had we not adopted her, how amazing she is.




Of course we wouldn't have thought about how she was being put in a van somewhere in Ukraine and being driven to the place in which she would surely suffer greatly and die in. Looking back, it makes me sick to think we were almost so selfish that we were going to walk away from this blessing and in turn allow this child to suffer.




Can you look at this face and tell her she's not worth it? Can you tell her her life isn't valued? Can you tell her you'll sit by and not do a thing while she languishes in an adult mental institution?



Thank goodness we'll never have to tell this child those things, but what about "Darla?" Can you tell her those things? She reminds me a lot of Zoya's referral picture. And I can easily see Zoya's profile saying those same words, "She is considered significantly delayed cognitively." Well yes, probably because she has been passed over, abandoned, forgotten. Nobody has ever invested a thing into her. Darla is facing a transfer, where her fate is worse than you or I can probably imagine. What if this is your child?
Zoya's referral picture

Darla's referral picture



















In honor of Zoya's fourth birthday, we're making a donation to Darla's grant fund in hopes that her mama and daddy will come forward and give her a home rather than a slow death in a mental institution. Would you please consider doing the same to honor our Zoya girl, and to bring attention to Darla? Please share this little girl! I'm begging you. When I look at her I can see what could have been for Zoya. My heart breaks for Darla and for the many other orphans who might never know what "family" means.

Indifference IS a sin my friends. Please don't become indifferent to the overwhelming needs in this world. Do something, anything, to be the hands and feet of Jesus. I need to remind myself daily to do the same. If you don't, you may never know whose suffering you could have prevented. You may never know how interceding could have made all the difference in another human being's life. Your child could be laying in a crib half way around the world suffering because you're too scared, too selfish, too control-freakish (my former self) to get up and move yourself into action! What else do you need to hear to be motivated to act on behalf of the orphan in distress?

Cherished

Wanted

Valued
LOVED!

21 comments:

  1. what a beautiful post. I needed to read this sarah, thank you. you have given me the reassurance that I needed tonight. you are a star!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Cast those worries aside and know that God is paving this path for you, even when you can't see past the worries floating around in your head...just KNOW that this is God's will and He will provide!

      Delete
  2. what a beautiful post. I needed to read this sarah, thank you. you have given me the reassurance that I needed tonight. you are a star!

    ReplyDelete
  3. She is so precious! Thank you for posting!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Love your hearts!! I am going to make a "HAPPY 4th BIRTHDAY to ZOYA!!" donation to Darla's fund as well! And, yes, Sweet Zoya, YOU are AMAZING!!!! (((BIG HUGS)))!!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, Anne! Thank you from the bottom of my heart (and from Zoya too!) I showed Zoya Darla's picture and told her she needs a mama. She keeps pointing at her picture saying "MAMA, sshhhh shhhhh sshhhh" (that's what she tells Mila when she is crying)...clearly even Zoya could see the sadness in this child's eyes :( I know her mama is out there. Thank you so much for your donation to this precious angel!

      Delete
  5. This is one of the most beautiful sights I have ever seen.Your baby girl could be the poster child for 'Happily Ever After'! I would like to borrow your last paragraph about indifference is a sin and use it on my fb page. People need waking up...and that paragraph is a 'solid' tap on the brain. Thank you for sharing your little one and for advocating for Darla, she is precious. May your blessings continue, Stephanie Roodhuyzen

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Stephanie! You may certainly use that paragraph!

      Delete
  6. So, so, so beautiful. I just wish the parents in EE, giving their babies up for adoption, could see the transformations that take place in the ones lucky enough to get forever families and escape their fate in an institution, the ones lucky enough to get support and LOVE.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know, I wish there were opportunities for the parents in EE!

      Delete
  7. oh im blessed to have been part (online) of zoya's adoption. i remember when i made you the button for the fsp, and i remember reading Zoya's adoption process, i have always had so much respect for couples like you and your husband, that not having their own kid, they choose to adopt as their first, and not having a kid with DS, you still choose her. that is amazing.

    congrats to Zoya! for her almost 4th bday :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh I remember you making my button too!!! You were so sweet then and still are now!! You have a beautiful family!

      Delete
  8. What a lucky little girl Miss Zoya is to have you two as her parents and Mila as her sister. What a joyful place your home must be. A Happy Birthday to Zoya and thanks to God she has a family to celebrate with.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh we sure do have fun!!! Thanks for the birthday wishes!

      Delete
  9. I cried whilst reading this post. I have an older brother with Down syndrome and cannot imagine my parents giving him to an orphanage or institution. A friend of my mum also has a son (Mark) with Down syndrome, just a few years older than my brother. The doctor told her that Mark would be better off in an institution, so they wouldn't be burdened. This was in the late 70's! Mark is one of the most 'high functioning' (I hate that term sometimes) people with DS that I know! I don't have a lot of money to give towards Darla, but I will give! I hope that someday my husband and I can adopt a child with Down syndrome! Your Zoya is just so beautiful! Sharing your post on Twitter and Facebook. xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, sadly, America "dealt with" people with DS much the same that Eastern Europe does now...even as late as the 70s! It's crazy to think about! I'm so glad your parents stood up for what their hearts knew and parented him. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your donation to Darla!!

      Delete
  10. I needed this too. Thank you for sharing your family's beautiful story and raising awareness of the terrible plight of these orphans!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Sara, you have the most beautiful, amazing, sweet little girl! Your family is extraordinary and the love you express is apparent on Zoya's face. Thanks for sharing. Hugs to all of you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you!!!! We are very blessed indeed!

      Delete
  12. Sarah, ty so much for sharing your heart--and your precious family with us!! You guys are such an inspiration to me!! And I would be absolutely honored to donate to Daria's fund in honor of sweet Zoya's 4th birthday! It literally makes me cry when I think of what your sweet girl would have faced if you guys hadn't gotten to her in time--and what so many others face now. Even tho I don't know Zoya I love her (and the rest of you too lol) and it chills me to think of ANY child languishing alone in such a place! Happy Happy Birthday, sweet smiling Zoya! I loved the photos above --esp. the one in the newest post with her baby. You can SEE how dearly she is loved by the way she loves her own "baby". So tender-hearted that sweet girl is!

    ReplyDelete