So after several emails (some worried and some joking with me about where I've been) I decided a blog update is LONNNNNNG overdue!!! I need to get back into the swing of things! These days much of my time is taken up by our two beautiful girls and helping newly inquiring Reece's Rainbow families! In the meantime, I missed posting about Mother's Day and Father's Day and Mila's 8th month home, our trip to the National Down Syndrome Convention/Reece's Rainbow Reuinion, and many other happenings. So hopefully one day I'll get caught up!
Today I am 30 years old! Wow, how did this happen? When I was younger, 30 seemed so old!! I prefer to say today is my first anniversary of my 29th birthday, though! When I was 18 and just starting out in life, I would have never been able to guess that this would be my life. Married to the man of my dreams (I had always hoped that would be the case), and mama to two beautiful daughters....those things are not so far off from what I'd hoped ;). But what surprises me about my life is that at 30 years old my identity is a WIFE and a MOTHER first and foremost. Recently I resigned from my teaching job after being denied a 2nd year of leave. My priorities have completely changed over the past several years. My family is more important to me than any amazing teaching job (and it was a great job!) A few years ago I never would have been able to imagine myself walking away from a career that I loved with every ounce of my being. A few years ago, material things mattered a lot more to me. At 30 years old, I know that my treasures are not my house and my belongings. My treasures are my family. I went from "I could never in a million years be a stay at home mom" to "I wouldn't trade my ability to stay home with my girls for the world!" We are blessed that I have the opportunity to stay home with our girls and feel it is what is best for them right now.
As we sat on the front porch this morning having breakfast, I looked to my left and saw my amazing husband and thanked God for him. I looked to my right and saw my two beautiful daughters playing. I praised God for sparing their lives and allowing me to be their mama. I wondered how in the world I deserve such a beautiful life. Don't get me wrong, there are days where the house is a mess and the girls are having bad days, and Shawn is working 12 hours in a row, and I just want to pull my hair out....but in the still moments I know how blessed I am....I can feel it with every ounce of my being. Believe me, there are days I think to myself "what were you thinking taking this road?" There are days I wonder if all those people who thought we were crazy for choosing to adopt kids with special needs were right. But more days than not at the end of the day when the house is quiet, I feel in my heart that this is exactly where I am meant to be. I never would have guessed this would be my life at 30 years old....because I never could have imagined it to be this beautiful!
30 is a milestone of sorts....a BIG number in the age game. Several years ago, I would have thought at 30, I'd be content and settled. I can say that I am happy, but I don't ever want to just feel content, or settled and I certainly don't want to become comfortable in my ways. Because when I feel settled and comfortable, that means I'm not doing enough in this one and only short life. I know many people that live for the American Dream. While at one point that sounded appealing, it no longer does. I hope 30 means stretching myself in ways I never thought possible, continuing to aim only to please my audience of ONE, trying harder to do more for others who need my love, and stepping out in faith MORE than ever before.
And with that...some pictures of my lovies just because you waited so long for a blog post!
Be back SOONER than later this time!!! (I hope!)