Monday, November 23, 2009


I logged on with full intentions of completely venting all of my stress that has been going on lately! I could blog about my broken computer and how its been in the shop 3 times for almost 2 weeks and how we are going to have to pay even more to get it fixed because the warranty doesn't cover it, or I could write all about how we wait for one piece of adoption paperwork in the mail every day and are dissapointed every day when it hasn't come, or about how we are totally stressed out about financing this adoption....the list goes on....

Instead, I remember the sermon at church yesterday. We have so many things to be thankful for in our lives! Its easy to focus on all the stress and things that don't go right, way too easy! Today, I'm thankful that God has chosen us to be Zoya's family. I'm thankful that he thinks we are worthy enough for this gift...the gift of Zoya's life! I am thankful that he knows what all the tomorrows hold and I can, when I choose, rest easy knowing he has it all taken care of....the finances, travel arrangements, bonding, all the details that stress us out if we let them! And believe me, we have times (like today) that we let them! We let that little voice overtake all the positive things happening and start to feel sorry for ourselves, when we should really be focusing on everything we have to be thankful for. We throw ourselves a pity party and let the worries weigh us down like an anchor and allow ourselves to be pulled to the bottom of the ocean, instead of fighting to stay afloat, sometimes we just give in and sink. Thats what I did today. I felt complete and total defeat.

But, we will rise up, and focus instead on how lucky we are to have even been led to take this journey in the first place. We are lucky that things have gone well overall, with only a few set backs. We will focus on all the people who have been so encouraging and kind and helpful along the journey this far. We will focus on our goal of BRINGING ZOYA HOME no matter the cost, no matter the struggle, no matter the set backs, no matter the days we feel like we're sinking. We will bring Zoya home to hundreds of people who already know about her and love her without even having met her. We will remember Zoya's suffering and remind ourselves there is no mountain we won't climb to free her of her lonely existance. We will remember that God WILL ransom her and move the mountains that we can't climb.

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