Zoya had a fantastic morning and was pretty good during all the visits. When we got home she was a little cranky and ended up crying to the point that we were unable to console her for about 5-10 minutes. She just cried...very loudly. This was the first time we've ever seen this. I felt so sad for her. We knew it would be hard for her to leave the orphange. We are so lucky we have bonded so quickly, but that does not mean she will not have times of stress and feelings of loss and sadness. We've heard that many newly adopted babies go through crying spells the first few weeks. We felt so sad for her and felt terrible that there was nothing that would make her feel better. She loves us, of course, but I'd be scared too if I were in her situation. Everything is so different, from the smells, to the sounds and language, to the routine, to the environment. I think she was a bit overstimulated and crashed from there. After she settled down a little, we took a walk with her and ended up just getting McDonalds for dinner. The walk seemed to calm her down. When we got back she was back to her normal happy self for the most part. I fed her dinner on the floor and let her come to me when she wanted more. She would take a few bites and then scoot herself back for some alone time. We are figuring out that she needs both our love and touch, but we also need to let her take a break from us when she needs to. After all, she only saw us twice a day for 2 hours at a time, and then she went back to her comfort zone. We all know the orphanage wasn't the best place for her, she didn't have her needs met in many ways...but it was what she knew and it was what she has lived for almost 2 years...her entire life. Zoya needs prayers for peace and transition and we need prayers to continue being patient and understanding of the difficulty of this transition time for her. Yes, it was only 5 or 10 minutes that she cried, but it broke my heart. All the other minutes with her she has been happy and silly and funny...so she is more than allowed 5 or 10 minutes to break down from all the change she is dealing with.
I know a lot of people don't think about what it is like at home for the first days and weeks after an adoption, but we're not expecting it to be easy. Many social workers and doctors recommend that for the first week home the child meet only very close family and friends. Many even suggest not to let others hold the child, as it will take time for the child to bond fully and know their mom and dad. Too many other people holding the child might confuse him/her. It is suggested that we treat Zoya as a new baby...giving her a lot of physical attention, holding, hugging, rocking, swaddling and treating her just as if she were a newborn. It is not okay to let her cry it out if she wakes up in the middle of the night. We have to respond to her and let her know she is communicating with us and that we are there to comfort her. So we don't have any set rules or a plan we are going to follow, but we will see how Zoya is doing and decide what is best for her from hour to hour the first few weeks home. Our only plan is to do what is best for Zoya and we will know that better when we get home. She may do better than we think, or it may take her longer than we think to feel at home in her new environment.
Oh and a funny little side note: Zoya loves McDonald's french fries...every kid I know with Down Syndrome loves McDonalds...yes that is a generalization, but it is so true! One in particular is obsessed with McDonalds...not mentioning any names...Seth. Anyway, she scooted over to me on the floor while I was eating my fries and she signed MORE haha. She was asking for french fries so I gave her little pieces and she kept signing more. She would scoot away, but always came back and either signed more or just stared up at me with pleading eyes! Too funny! This was the first time she signed more without being prompted! She is sleeping peacefully as I type this and she looks like an angel. Sweet girl!
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Medical, Visa, and Life with Zoya
Last night Zoya bounced around acting like a kid at Disney World for the first time until about 1:30am! She slept on the train for about 3 hours and then we woke her up when we had to get her dressed to get off the train. She slept a little in the car but once we got to our apartment she was wide awake and so excited. She loves the big bed! Rolling around, boucing, and just smiling away! She finally fell asleep around 1:30 and slept through the night until about 7:30 this morning. She is a mover in her sleep...kicking and tossing and turning. Shawn and I didn't get much sleep since we are sharing our bed with her. That is our only option, we have one big bed in our living room and no crib or anywhere else that would even be an option. We woke up around 5:30 and had trouble sleeping. Zoya was snoozing away...coughing a lot in her sleep. Her cough doesn't seem to be getting better, we are giving her cough medicine 3 times a day. I hope it clears up soon. Anyway, we layed in bed until Zoya woke up and then started getting ready.
We were told to be ready for 9 so we rushed around feeding Zoya, giving her her first bath (YAY)..oooo she smells so good!, getting ourselves ready, and eating a little something. We never got picked up until about 10 and then went to get Zoya's medical. When Nico picked us up he had another couple in the car with him. They had tried to leave out of Kiev airport for their flight back to the US for their 10 day wait, but it was cancelled. Nothing seems to be moving out of Germany to the US, which is where our connection in on Thursday. It doesn't seem that there is any availability with any other connection, such as Madrid, since so many people have been stranded and are trying to get home. This couple was told they the earliest they could get a flight out would be Friday and that would only get them to Germany, from there they will have to figure out a connection to the U.S. So although the news is saying things are moving again, it is not the case here for our route just yet. We are hoping and praying that come Thursday morning, all flights will resume and we will be able to get home! It is not easy in this little apartment to entertain a very active baby all day long! We are going to venture out tonight, maybe to TGI Fridays or this little Ukrainian cuisine restaurant and stop at a toy store we saw on our drive here.
Anyway, after we got picked up we were taken to the medical clinic for Zoya's visa medical. When we walked in it was the worst waiting room nightmare I've ever imagined. We were worried, but Nico got us in quick. Zoya weighed in at 24 POUNDS! Woah! I think it's all in her little belly and her cheeks! The doctor didn't do much. Just checked her heart and lungs and filled out some paperwork...$110 later, we walked out. When we walked out, one of the waiting people said in a really snotty tone, "OOOhhhh Ammeeerrrrricans." She was mad we got to go in so fast and they had been waiting. I'd be mad too but I don't think they were paying $110 to be seen either! It is interesting to see all the stares and whispers when we have Zoya out in public. She just waves at the people who stare at her and I think it shocks most people. Next we went to the U.S. embassy to fill our paperwork for Zoya's visa. We were told it would be ready today but it now will not be ready until 2pm tomorrow. Good thing we were unable to book our flight Wednesday due to the lovely volcano...because we'd be going nowhere.
We can't wait to get home and are feeling the stress of thinking we could be here another week if things don't clear up. Here are some pictures from the train ride and from our apartment.
An update on Zoya's clothes sizes. We originally thought her foot size was between a 4 and 5 from tracing her foot on a piece of paper. So we bought mostly 5's and one pair of 4's. The 4s keep falling off, so I will have to buy a couple pair of 3s. She wears both 12 and 18 month clothing. The pants that are 12 months are a tad short, but they work. The pants that are 18 months seem to be a better fit, but sometimes too big around the waist. For shirts, the 18 month shirts are too long on her arms, the 12 month length seems to be better for her arm length but then they are too short. So all around I'd say 18 month size is the best for her now....we will just roll up her sleeves. We thought it was the opposite, but she has short arms and long legs.
We were told to be ready for 9 so we rushed around feeding Zoya, giving her her first bath (YAY)..oooo she smells so good!, getting ourselves ready, and eating a little something. We never got picked up until about 10 and then went to get Zoya's medical. When Nico picked us up he had another couple in the car with him. They had tried to leave out of Kiev airport for their flight back to the US for their 10 day wait, but it was cancelled. Nothing seems to be moving out of Germany to the US, which is where our connection in on Thursday. It doesn't seem that there is any availability with any other connection, such as Madrid, since so many people have been stranded and are trying to get home. This couple was told they the earliest they could get a flight out would be Friday and that would only get them to Germany, from there they will have to figure out a connection to the U.S. So although the news is saying things are moving again, it is not the case here for our route just yet. We are hoping and praying that come Thursday morning, all flights will resume and we will be able to get home! It is not easy in this little apartment to entertain a very active baby all day long! We are going to venture out tonight, maybe to TGI Fridays or this little Ukrainian cuisine restaurant and stop at a toy store we saw on our drive here.
Anyway, after we got picked up we were taken to the medical clinic for Zoya's visa medical. When we walked in it was the worst waiting room nightmare I've ever imagined. We were worried, but Nico got us in quick. Zoya weighed in at 24 POUNDS! Woah! I think it's all in her little belly and her cheeks! The doctor didn't do much. Just checked her heart and lungs and filled out some paperwork...$110 later, we walked out. When we walked out, one of the waiting people said in a really snotty tone, "OOOhhhh Ammeeerrrrricans." She was mad we got to go in so fast and they had been waiting. I'd be mad too but I don't think they were paying $110 to be seen either! It is interesting to see all the stares and whispers when we have Zoya out in public. She just waves at the people who stare at her and I think it shocks most people. Next we went to the U.S. embassy to fill our paperwork for Zoya's visa. We were told it would be ready today but it now will not be ready until 2pm tomorrow. Good thing we were unable to book our flight Wednesday due to the lovely volcano...because we'd be going nowhere.
We can't wait to get home and are feeling the stress of thinking we could be here another week if things don't clear up. Here are some pictures from the train ride and from our apartment.
This is us with our amazing facilitator Marina
Zoya on the train
Looking out the window on the train
Sleeping on the train
In her comfy cozy jammies
Wide awake at 1am!
"This is so cool...we never got to do anything like this in the orphanage." -Zoya
Playing on the floor in her cute cat-bum jammies Aunt Jen bought her.
She can pull her feet all the way to her ears!!
Monday, April 19, 2010
GOTCHA DAY Part 2
We just arrived in Kiev it's a little after midnight. We are staying in a really nice apartment in Kiev on the 15th floor! It is a breathtaking view of the city! We have super fast FREE internet and I have missed it! I can upload pictures so fast!! Wahoo! Zoya slept on the train from 7:30 until we woke her up at 10:45pm when we got to Kiev. Once we got into the apartment she came ALIVE! She was boucing all over the bed like a maniac and cracking up! I think she likes us :) Below is what I wrote on the train about our Gotcha Day!
GOTCHA DAY: APRIL 19, 2010
I don’t really think there are adequate words to describe our Gotcha Day, but I will try. We had been dreaming of this day since we first saw her picture. We tried to dream up what it would be like. It wasn’t anything I could ever imagine. Some parts were better, and one part was not quite what I thought it would be. We got to Zoya’s orphanage at about 2:50…we just couldn’t wait for 3:00. On the walk to the orphanage I had huge butterflies in my stomach. I was thinking, I can’t believe this is it, I can’t believe after all these hurdles, we will walk in, get her, and walk out of the gates and nobody will try to stop us. I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop as it has so many times in this process. We walked up the stairs to Zoya’s groupa for the last time. It felt so surreal. I had this urge to run in and get her fast and run out before anyone could stop us and tell us we had to do some more paperwork, or the judge changed his mind, or something was wrong with a document. The walk up the stairs seemed so long. I can see it all in slow motion.
When we walked in, there was only one caregiver there and it was nap time. We had never heard the orphanage so quiet. She woke Zoya up and brought her out to us in nothing but a diaper. They have to keep their clothes for the other orphans, so we knew to bring our own, but to see Zoya brought out with everything that belonged to her (which was nothing but the diaper on her bum) hit me pretty hard. We got out her beautiful pink and white dress, matching jacket, tshirt, tights, jeans, hat, and coat to start getting her ready. She was so smiley. She kept waving goodbye to the room and goodbye when anyone walked in or out. We put on her tights and her tshirt and then her dress. I had this feeling she just knew what was going on. I felt like she had been waiting for this for so long, and so had we. We took some pictures and I oooohed and aaahhhed at how beautiful she looked in her pretty dress and her big bow. To put our own clothes on her made us feel more like she was ours. To start making decisions, big and……small in this case, about our daughter, felt good. We asked the caregiver if we could take a picture of her with Zoya and she said no. We did convince her to take a picture of the three of us. That is our third picture of the three of us together. We have over 1,300 pictures of her and only 3 of us all together. Anyways, we stood there thinking, okay, we just walk out? We had brought chocolates and champagne at the suggestion of our facilitator so we were anticipating some more people to show up for Zoya’s big day but that did not happen. We set the chocolates and champagne on the desk, put her coat and hat on and just kinda looked at each other like okay, we just go? This is the part that was not anything like I thought it would be. No big party. Nobody hugging Zoya goodbye. Nobody wishing her luck with her new family. Nobody wanting a picture with her. Nobody caring as much as I thought they would. Why would it be any different? She was an orphan to them, a sick child, a broken kid, an unworthy member of society, an “invalid,” she had nothing to offer them. Why would it be any different?
I held Zoya as we walked out the door, never looking back. We walked down the stairs and got to the outside door. Shawn walked out first but I paused for a moment before crossing the threshold. The threshold we had crossed so many times…but this time it meant a new life for Zoya, a new life for us, rebirth, a chance to start fresh in this world. I took a deep breath and crossed over with tears in my eyes. Shawn and I just kept looking at each other…but looking at each other in a new way…not just as husband and wife, but this time as new parents…parents who knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that they’d do anything for this little angel....parents who realized all the stress in the past and the stress to come was and will be worth it. We continued walking toward the gates. We had walked by the gates so many times on our daily walks with Zoya. We had joked about just running outta there with her and never coming back but Shawn would always say, “we wouldn’t get very far,” which was true. This time as the ugly green gates got closer, we knew we’d be busting through them and never going back. As we got closer both of us got a little choked up. As soon as we crossed over, I got very teary eyed and was immediately filled with so many emotions. A big sigh of relief that we had finally lived out this part of the journey and were holding our angel in our arms and nobody could take her away, a kind of love I’ve never felt, sadness that Zoya spent so much time there, guilt for all the other orphans we were leaving behind, happiness that she never had to go back, determination to be the best Moma Zoya could ever have, and thankfulness that we followed our hearts and God’s will to come all this way to have our hearts forever entwined with Zoya’s heart. The gates represented the crossing over into a new life for Zoya, and for us. On the new side of the gate, Zoya gets another chance…possibly what very likely could have been her only chance to live. Simply live. That in and of itself is worth it all. But not only does she get a chance to live, she gets a chance to be loved and valued without anyone wanting anything in return from her, who doesn’t deserve that? God loves her so much he convinced us to travel almost 5,000 miles to rescue her on his behalf. The new side of the gate also represented a new life for Shawn and I. A chance to start over and make a difference. An opportunity to be changed forever for the better by this beautiful little soul. I few tears rolled from under my sunglasses down my cheeks.
We walked to our apartment with her and the first thing we did was let her crawl and roll all around the floor. She was loving it! She had never been allowed on the floor at the orphanage so this was so cool for her. We changed her clothes and packed our last things away. We took a ride through the city and got on the train where we are now. Zoya is sleeping soundly next to me and Shawn across from me. My heart is full and all I can think is I can’t believe we are worthy of this gift.
GOTCHA DAY: APRIL 19, 2010
I don’t really think there are adequate words to describe our Gotcha Day, but I will try. We had been dreaming of this day since we first saw her picture. We tried to dream up what it would be like. It wasn’t anything I could ever imagine. Some parts were better, and one part was not quite what I thought it would be. We got to Zoya’s orphanage at about 2:50…we just couldn’t wait for 3:00. On the walk to the orphanage I had huge butterflies in my stomach. I was thinking, I can’t believe this is it, I can’t believe after all these hurdles, we will walk in, get her, and walk out of the gates and nobody will try to stop us. I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop as it has so many times in this process. We walked up the stairs to Zoya’s groupa for the last time. It felt so surreal. I had this urge to run in and get her fast and run out before anyone could stop us and tell us we had to do some more paperwork, or the judge changed his mind, or something was wrong with a document. The walk up the stairs seemed so long. I can see it all in slow motion.
When we walked in, there was only one caregiver there and it was nap time. We had never heard the orphanage so quiet. She woke Zoya up and brought her out to us in nothing but a diaper. They have to keep their clothes for the other orphans, so we knew to bring our own, but to see Zoya brought out with everything that belonged to her (which was nothing but the diaper on her bum) hit me pretty hard. We got out her beautiful pink and white dress, matching jacket, tshirt, tights, jeans, hat, and coat to start getting her ready. She was so smiley. She kept waving goodbye to the room and goodbye when anyone walked in or out. We put on her tights and her tshirt and then her dress. I had this feeling she just knew what was going on. I felt like she had been waiting for this for so long, and so had we. We took some pictures and I oooohed and aaahhhed at how beautiful she looked in her pretty dress and her big bow. To put our own clothes on her made us feel more like she was ours. To start making decisions, big and……small in this case, about our daughter, felt good. We asked the caregiver if we could take a picture of her with Zoya and she said no. We did convince her to take a picture of the three of us. That is our third picture of the three of us together. We have over 1,300 pictures of her and only 3 of us all together. Anyways, we stood there thinking, okay, we just walk out? We had brought chocolates and champagne at the suggestion of our facilitator so we were anticipating some more people to show up for Zoya’s big day but that did not happen. We set the chocolates and champagne on the desk, put her coat and hat on and just kinda looked at each other like okay, we just go? This is the part that was not anything like I thought it would be. No big party. Nobody hugging Zoya goodbye. Nobody wishing her luck with her new family. Nobody wanting a picture with her. Nobody caring as much as I thought they would. Why would it be any different? She was an orphan to them, a sick child, a broken kid, an unworthy member of society, an “invalid,” she had nothing to offer them. Why would it be any different?
I held Zoya as we walked out the door, never looking back. We walked down the stairs and got to the outside door. Shawn walked out first but I paused for a moment before crossing the threshold. The threshold we had crossed so many times…but this time it meant a new life for Zoya, a new life for us, rebirth, a chance to start fresh in this world. I took a deep breath and crossed over with tears in my eyes. Shawn and I just kept looking at each other…but looking at each other in a new way…not just as husband and wife, but this time as new parents…parents who knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that they’d do anything for this little angel....parents who realized all the stress in the past and the stress to come was and will be worth it. We continued walking toward the gates. We had walked by the gates so many times on our daily walks with Zoya. We had joked about just running outta there with her and never coming back but Shawn would always say, “we wouldn’t get very far,” which was true. This time as the ugly green gates got closer, we knew we’d be busting through them and never going back. As we got closer both of us got a little choked up. As soon as we crossed over, I got very teary eyed and was immediately filled with so many emotions. A big sigh of relief that we had finally lived out this part of the journey and were holding our angel in our arms and nobody could take her away, a kind of love I’ve never felt, sadness that Zoya spent so much time there, guilt for all the other orphans we were leaving behind, happiness that she never had to go back, determination to be the best Moma Zoya could ever have, and thankfulness that we followed our hearts and God’s will to come all this way to have our hearts forever entwined with Zoya’s heart. The gates represented the crossing over into a new life for Zoya, and for us. On the new side of the gate, Zoya gets another chance…possibly what very likely could have been her only chance to live. Simply live. That in and of itself is worth it all. But not only does she get a chance to live, she gets a chance to be loved and valued without anyone wanting anything in return from her, who doesn’t deserve that? God loves her so much he convinced us to travel almost 5,000 miles to rescue her on his behalf. The new side of the gate also represented a new life for Shawn and I. A chance to start over and make a difference. An opportunity to be changed forever for the better by this beautiful little soul. I few tears rolled from under my sunglasses down my cheeks.
We walked to our apartment with her and the first thing we did was let her crawl and roll all around the floor. She was loving it! She had never been allowed on the floor at the orphanage so this was so cool for her. We changed her clothes and packed our last things away. We took a ride through the city and got on the train where we are now. Zoya is sleeping soundly next to me and Shawn across from me. My heart is full and all I can think is I can’t believe we are worthy of this gift.
It is so good to be with Zoya outside of the orphanage! Thanks for all of your prayers and support that have gotten us this far! We are so lucky to have such great family and friends! Now if the skies will just all be reopened we will be good to go!
We Have Zoya's Passport!!
YAY....the passport came in and there are no problems with it!! From the sounds of our facilitator it almost didn't come in. Oh I can't even imagine! Anyways, it is here in our facilitator's hands! We visited Zoya for her last orphanage visit this morning and told her all about how we are breaking her out later today! One of our favorite caregivers said goodbye to us and was squeezing my hand and almost crying. I asked if we could take a picture of her and Zoya but she didn't want a picture taken of herself. We asked her if she'd be around at 3:00 and she said no. She just kept saying, "good people" and putting her hand over her heart. She said "success," I think she was saying good luck. I know she will miss Zoya very much but is so hapy to see her find a life outside of the bars she has been behind. We came home, ate a quick lunch, and have been packing and getting ready for the train ride to Kiev ever since.
Our plan is to spring Zoya t 3:00. Our facilitator is not going with us so we will walk home with her! We have to be back to our apartment and be ready to be picked up by our facilitator at 4:00 for the train, which leaves at 5:30. Since we won't have much time in between, I'm not sure I'll be able to post about our Gotcha Day until we arrive in Kiev tonight around midnight. That is 6pm home time...so sorry you may have to wait until then to see Miss Zoya being sprung from the orphanage!!!
We are so very excited that this day has finally come! Zoya has no idea what is in store for her!! Next stop, Kiev....and then....hopefully soon after......AMERICA! Please keep praying that the ash cloud will break up and airports will be reopen. We are working with our travel agent to see if there are any other possibilities...maybe fly south first and then west to the U.S. Right now the problem seems to be Germany. Ukraine airports are open but only flying certain routes. We told our travel agent that we don't care where in the U.S. they get us to...as long as we get to the U.S. We have some missionaries in Kiev that are affiliated with our church if we get stuck in Ukraine for longer than expected. They have offered for us to stay with them. Also a friend in Iceland has some friends in Germany who have offered to let us stay with them should we get stuck in Germany. We are hoping and praying that will not be the case, but it makes us feel a little better to know we wouldn't be stranded at the airport for days on end with our newly adopted daughter.
Less than 2 hours until we break Zoya out forever!!
Our plan is to spring Zoya t 3:00. Our facilitator is not going with us so we will walk home with her! We have to be back to our apartment and be ready to be picked up by our facilitator at 4:00 for the train, which leaves at 5:30. Since we won't have much time in between, I'm not sure I'll be able to post about our Gotcha Day until we arrive in Kiev tonight around midnight. That is 6pm home time...so sorry you may have to wait until then to see Miss Zoya being sprung from the orphanage!!!
We are so very excited that this day has finally come! Zoya has no idea what is in store for her!! Next stop, Kiev....and then....hopefully soon after......AMERICA! Please keep praying that the ash cloud will break up and airports will be reopen. We are working with our travel agent to see if there are any other possibilities...maybe fly south first and then west to the U.S. Right now the problem seems to be Germany. Ukraine airports are open but only flying certain routes. We told our travel agent that we don't care where in the U.S. they get us to...as long as we get to the U.S. We have some missionaries in Kiev that are affiliated with our church if we get stuck in Ukraine for longer than expected. They have offered for us to stay with them. Also a friend in Iceland has some friends in Germany who have offered to let us stay with them should we get stuck in Germany. We are hoping and praying that will not be the case, but it makes us feel a little better to know we wouldn't be stranded at the airport for days on end with our newly adopted daughter.
Less than 2 hours until we break Zoya out forever!!
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Zoya's Beads
Tonight we went to see Zoya for our last evening visit before we break her free! She has been getting a little bored with the same old toys we've been bringing so I tapped into our airplane supply of new interesting things to keep her busy. I got some mardi gras type beads thinking she'd like to play with them. These are her favorite so far! In fact, she liked them so much that when I tried to take them from her (thinking we'd play a "find the beads" game) she had a full blow temper tantrum and let out the loudest cry/yell we've ever heard her make! At first I didn't connect it to the beads and I was like what the heck. Well the second time I took the beads the same thing! Shawn and I were laughing so hard because we'd never seen her act this way before. I tried to get it on video and succeeded a little. I can't upload the video now because this internet connection is slower than a turtle...but when we get home I will. It is so funny...in the video it isn't as bad as the first two times but it is still pretty funny. I had no idea she was already so attached to them! Here are a couple pictures from tonight of Zoya and her beads.
When we arrived at the orphanae tonight I peeked my head in and saw something unusual. Usually when I walk in I see all the babies/children in cribs and the caretakers too busy doing anything else to actually give any of the kids one on one time. When I peaked in two of the caregivers were sitting on the couch with Zoya right there in a little bouncy seat. She had 2 on 1 attention! I'm not sure if it was because she was sick, or because she is leaving tomorrow and they wanted to spend some time with her seeing this will be the last time they see her! I was a little shocked to see them both paying so much attention to Zoya. I can tell that some of the care givers are so excited for Zoya to have a moma and daddy and a forever home. They have been so kind to us the past couple days (or is that because we are leaving soon? hehe). Either way, it is pretty cool to see their attitude toward us change.
Speaking of changed attitudes, last night when we were at the orphanage we noticed another family there visiting with a little boy. It appeared to be this boy's mom and his grandparents. The boy appeared normal on the outside so I'm not sure if he had special needs or not. Each time we walked by them they just stared at us...not covertly either! We smiled at them each time and kept on our way. We found the couch in the hallway and planted ourselves there to play for a while. The woman who looked like this boy's mother walked by us a few times just staring. Zoya waved at her and I was like You Go Girl...Show her whatcha got! She just kept staring. Shawn was like lady what is your problem (not our loud...but under his breath). On their way out the woman came up to us and started speaking in Russian. I said, sorry we speak English. She said "What is your name?" and pointed to Zoya. We said "Zoya." She said in the nicest tone, "HI ZOYATCHKA" (that seems to be a term of endearment to add "atchka" or something similar to the end of people's names...some of the caregivers also call her that). She really wanted to communicate something to us, or maybe ask us something, but the language barrier prevented that from happening. She said, "you have email?" I said yes. She said, "I want to ask about health of Zoya." I'm sure she was referring to Down Syndrome because here they see kids with DS as sick children. They even call them that. I figured it can't hurt and maybe I can open this woman's eyes and if this is her son maybe give her courage to take him home....a long shot I know. So I gave her my email and she walked away and smiled and said, "Good Luck." So we will see if she emails me...I hope so because I'd like to know her story and I'd love to share our story with her!
Off to pack and prepare for GOTCHA DAY!!! Oh so excited :)
Are We There Yet?
Tomorrow is our gotcha day! We will take Zoya out of the orphanage at 3:00pm and get on a train to Kiev at 5:30 and arrive in Kiev around 11pm. We are so excited and trying not to let all these other things going on steal away from the day we have looked forward to for so very long.
Zoya is still sick. We visited with her for about 40 minutes this morning (I was greeted by our favorite care giver with a hug and kiss because she heard we are taking Zoya tomorrow) Zoya seemed happy, but started getting cranky toward the end. The caregivers talked to our facilitator and wanted us to go to the pharmacy to get some medicine for Zoya. Through a game of charades and our facilitator, we figured out she needs some nasal spray and something for her cough. They scribbled down something on a piece of paper and handed it to us. So we were off to find the pharmacy. We had already walked to the orphanage and back to the apartment to drop our thing off (can’t take them into the store) and then we walked to the pharmacy and then the supermarket and then back to the orphanage to drop off the medicine and then back to our apartment. We went into the pharmacy and gave them the note. She opened up a drawer and pulled out 5! Yes 5 boxes of nasal spray and 2 boxes of something for her cough. Either we bought medicine for the whole orphanage or she needs A LOT of medicine! Either way, all of that only cost about $7 US dollars. Here apparently you don’t need a prescription for medicines. We are hoping they wanted us to get it knowing that we are leaving with her tomorrow and hopefully they will give us what is left. All we need is for her to get even sicker while we face being stuck here indefinitely. They were very thankful when we brought it back and even said in English, "Thank You Very Much!"
During this journey it has seemed that every time we have something to be excited for (any big step in the adoption process) the joy is short lived and as soon as we get our heads above water we are pushed under again and have to fight our way back to the top. The volcano situation here is CHAOS. It is scary. It is unprecedented. It is making it hard to remain joyful and happy and positive. Here they are saying that it is very possible for airports to still be closed into Wednesday and Thursday. We are supposed to leave Thursday. We are thankful we are not stuck in an airport, which I can imagine to be the only worse scenario than what we will face here with our newly adopted sick child who needs immediate medical care. It is hard to continue being optimistic. They are predicting it to get worse before it gets better. People are stuck here. Trains and busses are all booked. People have no place to stay. Nobody has any answers about when the skies will open up again. We have no idea when we’d even be able to rebook our ticket for. Each time we see the light at the end of the tunnel it has only been a quick glimpse and then it disappears. This is very discouraging. Without complaining, I want to try to explain how we feel right now. We have been working on this process for over 6 months. We have poured our hearts and souls into every detail for 6 months straight, without pausing, without stopping to relax, without stopping to breathe…the paperwork, preparing for our first child, preparing for a child with special needs, the ups and downs and emotional roller coaster before we even ever set foot in Ukraine. We thought that part was emotionally exhausting…we had NO idea how that part was NOTHING compared to what we would face here. Now we have been in a foreign country with barely anyone that speaks English, with people who think we are nut cases for wanting to adopt this child, without the comforts of home, without friends, without control over one ounce of what is happening, with just enough to eat to live on, with odd smells, with a strict and dwindling budget….for over a MONTH! Thank God we were able to come home for a week and get recharged. I don’t know how to describe any better how we feel. It seems easy for people at home to say what is a few more days, you’ll be fine. We are just about running on empty here and so a few more days feels like an eternity. This is compounded by the fact that we have no idea when we will even be able to get home or if it will only be a “few more days” past our original date.
The only way we have even been able to get this far is solely with God as our guide. We know we will make it through, we know we will eventually get home. We know that in our minds, but our hearts are aching to be home with family and friends and finally celebrate just what God has done with our lives. Today we feel like that day will never come.
Would we do this all over again knowing we’d face all these obstacles? Absolutely…because we now know the joy that Zoya has brought to our lives. We can’t imagine not saving this child from life and death in a mental institution. We can’t imagine her not being our daughter. We can’t imagine her not being given the chance to know and feel love. We can’t imagine life without her. We need her and she needs us. This big picture is hard to keep in mind. We know that one day, hopefully soon, this will all be behind us and will be a story to tell, but being in our current circumstances, it makes it feel like that big picture is broken into a million pieces.
Being stripped of all comforts of home, people to talk and reason with, and limited ability to contact anyone at home has forced us to cling to God like we never have before. It has forced the two of us to become closer than we ever imagined possible….because not one other person knows how we feel. We are alone here. Of course we have the support of friends and family at home, but hearing it and living it just aren’t the same. In fact, I’m pretty sure everything I just wrote probably sounds like a lot of complaining instead of just trying to paint a picture of what we are feeling. Don’t get me wrong. We are grateful. We are thankful for this experience. We WILL look back on it with fond memories (some day long from now I’m thinking). But right now, right this moment, this is what we’re feeling.
Looking at these pictures reminds us that we have to keep marching on, and that soon we will get more than a glimpse of the light at the end of the tunnel. After all, tomorrow is GOTCHA DAY and it is truly a miracle that we’ve made it this far!
Zoya is still sick. We visited with her for about 40 minutes this morning (I was greeted by our favorite care giver with a hug and kiss because she heard we are taking Zoya tomorrow) Zoya seemed happy, but started getting cranky toward the end. The caregivers talked to our facilitator and wanted us to go to the pharmacy to get some medicine for Zoya. Through a game of charades and our facilitator, we figured out she needs some nasal spray and something for her cough. They scribbled down something on a piece of paper and handed it to us. So we were off to find the pharmacy. We had already walked to the orphanage and back to the apartment to drop our thing off (can’t take them into the store) and then we walked to the pharmacy and then the supermarket and then back to the orphanage to drop off the medicine and then back to our apartment. We went into the pharmacy and gave them the note. She opened up a drawer and pulled out 5! Yes 5 boxes of nasal spray and 2 boxes of something for her cough. Either we bought medicine for the whole orphanage or she needs A LOT of medicine! Either way, all of that only cost about $7 US dollars. Here apparently you don’t need a prescription for medicines. We are hoping they wanted us to get it knowing that we are leaving with her tomorrow and hopefully they will give us what is left. All we need is for her to get even sicker while we face being stuck here indefinitely. They were very thankful when we brought it back and even said in English, "Thank You Very Much!"
During this journey it has seemed that every time we have something to be excited for (any big step in the adoption process) the joy is short lived and as soon as we get our heads above water we are pushed under again and have to fight our way back to the top. The volcano situation here is CHAOS. It is scary. It is unprecedented. It is making it hard to remain joyful and happy and positive. Here they are saying that it is very possible for airports to still be closed into Wednesday and Thursday. We are supposed to leave Thursday. We are thankful we are not stuck in an airport, which I can imagine to be the only worse scenario than what we will face here with our newly adopted sick child who needs immediate medical care. It is hard to continue being optimistic. They are predicting it to get worse before it gets better. People are stuck here. Trains and busses are all booked. People have no place to stay. Nobody has any answers about when the skies will open up again. We have no idea when we’d even be able to rebook our ticket for. Each time we see the light at the end of the tunnel it has only been a quick glimpse and then it disappears. This is very discouraging. Without complaining, I want to try to explain how we feel right now. We have been working on this process for over 6 months. We have poured our hearts and souls into every detail for 6 months straight, without pausing, without stopping to relax, without stopping to breathe…the paperwork, preparing for our first child, preparing for a child with special needs, the ups and downs and emotional roller coaster before we even ever set foot in Ukraine. We thought that part was emotionally exhausting…we had NO idea how that part was NOTHING compared to what we would face here. Now we have been in a foreign country with barely anyone that speaks English, with people who think we are nut cases for wanting to adopt this child, without the comforts of home, without friends, without control over one ounce of what is happening, with just enough to eat to live on, with odd smells, with a strict and dwindling budget….for over a MONTH! Thank God we were able to come home for a week and get recharged. I don’t know how to describe any better how we feel. It seems easy for people at home to say what is a few more days, you’ll be fine. We are just about running on empty here and so a few more days feels like an eternity. This is compounded by the fact that we have no idea when we will even be able to get home or if it will only be a “few more days” past our original date.
The only way we have even been able to get this far is solely with God as our guide. We know we will make it through, we know we will eventually get home. We know that in our minds, but our hearts are aching to be home with family and friends and finally celebrate just what God has done with our lives. Today we feel like that day will never come.
Would we do this all over again knowing we’d face all these obstacles? Absolutely…because we now know the joy that Zoya has brought to our lives. We can’t imagine not saving this child from life and death in a mental institution. We can’t imagine her not being our daughter. We can’t imagine her not being given the chance to know and feel love. We can’t imagine life without her. We need her and she needs us. This big picture is hard to keep in mind. We know that one day, hopefully soon, this will all be behind us and will be a story to tell, but being in our current circumstances, it makes it feel like that big picture is broken into a million pieces.
Being stripped of all comforts of home, people to talk and reason with, and limited ability to contact anyone at home has forced us to cling to God like we never have before. It has forced the two of us to become closer than we ever imagined possible….because not one other person knows how we feel. We are alone here. Of course we have the support of friends and family at home, but hearing it and living it just aren’t the same. In fact, I’m pretty sure everything I just wrote probably sounds like a lot of complaining instead of just trying to paint a picture of what we are feeling. Don’t get me wrong. We are grateful. We are thankful for this experience. We WILL look back on it with fond memories (some day long from now I’m thinking). But right now, right this moment, this is what we’re feeling.
Looking at these pictures reminds us that we have to keep marching on, and that soon we will get more than a glimpse of the light at the end of the tunnel. After all, tomorrow is GOTCHA DAY and it is truly a miracle that we’ve made it this far!
And then when I look at the photos from our first meeting, I realize just how far we have already come!
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Boogies and Barney
When we saw Zoya this morning she had crusty boogies all over her nose and face. I can't believe they hadn't even wiped her nose off....or the rest of her face for that matter....poor babe. We brought a booger sucker and she actually likes to have her boogies sucked out! She smiles haha....maybe too much information...only information a mommy would think is cute! I've said before that the weekend care takers are much more.....lax, for lack of better word. We took her outside because it was so gorgeous out and it was hotter in the orphanage than it has ever been yet! She started coughing while we were outside, so we cut our walk short and took her back in. We watched some Barney and danced. The caregivers were all wearing masks...I'm almost certain to protect themselves and not the children (since they didn't ask us to wear any). We heard a few other kids coughing so it seems there is a little bug going around her groupa. Hopefully she can kick it before we fly out. The day after tomorrow we are springing her from this joint! I posted another post today below this one with a travel update so be sure to check it out.
I think she looks like a little old lady here..haha.
Daddy trying out the baby jeep carrier. We are going to trade off carrying her through the airport. Her legs look so long in this picture!
I bought some Gerber cookies to keep her busy on the airplane. We snuck one to her outside. We're not allowed to bring her any food. Oh well....at this point they can't tell us no so I don't really care!
Happy Moma and Zoya
We brought her an electric toothbrush for some oral motor stimulation. She loved it! Not to mention I got a much needed teeth-brushing in!
And....the cute little headphones. Zoya looks so serious and focused here....watching Barney! She still likes Barney the best...even better than the Wiggles or Sesame street!
Happy girl watching Barney!
Travel Update and The Darn Volcano!
Well it looks like we will likely fly into Erie Thursday evening. Even though we will be ready to leave Wednesday morning, this volcano has wreaked havoc pretty badly in Europe and as a result flights everywhere are affected. Wednesday there was not availability for all of our connections we'd need to make, so we stuck with our Thursday ticket. On Monday, if the volcanic ash has cleared the air and the Frankfurt airport has reopened, we will contact our travel agency to see if anything has opened up Wednesday but it is probably unlikely with all the chaos from this volcano. Is the volcano being covered on the news much in the U.S.? We get one English Channel...EuroNews...and it's all they're talking about....maybe it's being covered more here in Europe? We are hoping the cloud decides to float East so we can get home! I hope and pray by Thursday that this thing is cleared up! There are a few families adopting who are stuck in the country they are adopting from because of this. We were really hoping to get home Wednesday when we heard that we'd be ready, but then this volcano erupted and delayed those plans too! I must say, during all the delays we've had during this process, I never once thought of a volcano possibly delaying us from returning home with our sweet girl! We're used to climging mountains on this journey, but not volcanos! We hope hope hope this clears up way before Thursday and we can at least get home by Thursday. Either way we are breaking Zoya out of the orphanage Monday...as in....the day....after....tomorrow!!! FINALLY!
We actually forgot the whole camera during last night's visit after forgetting the memory card in the morning....sorry no pictures :( Today we will take a bunch though! Today and tomorrow are going to seem very long waiting for Monday to come....and on the weekends we can only visit 2 hours instead of 4.
Here are some pictures of the house we are staying in....an upgrade from our last trip here but still quite different than the good old USA!
We actually forgot the whole camera during last night's visit after forgetting the memory card in the morning....sorry no pictures :( Today we will take a bunch though! Today and tomorrow are going to seem very long waiting for Monday to come....and on the weekends we can only visit 2 hours instead of 4.
Here are some pictures of the house we are staying in....an upgrade from our last trip here but still quite different than the good old USA!
Here is the outside of our house:
Here is our "kitchenette"
Here is our shower...ooohhh so much better than the last place! This one has some spray/mist/steam thing and it feels like a car wash! haha! No shower shoes needed here!
And here is our bedroom. The decor in Ukraine is interesting. Nothing really matches and I wonder often what they would think of all of our HGTV shows! This bed has a "mattress" more like a couch...it's not really a mattress but I like it. The wallpaper sparkles and glitters...especially when the light is off and I turn the flashlight on to find my way into bed!!
Friday, April 16, 2010
The Passport, The Volcano, and The Zoya Girl!
We were told today that our passport will arrive here Monday at noon. This is better than the 90% sure answer we got yesterday! Although nothing here is EVER guaranteed, it is looking good for Monday. Our facilitator already booked train tickets for us to return to Kiev Monday evening. Monday we will go to the passport place at noon and finalize that and then we will head over to spring Zoya from her life as an orphan FOREVER! I have her outfit all picked out and even picked out the outfit she will wear on the train (it has butterflies...symbolic of her new life!). We were suprised to hear that on Tuesday we will have her medical exam and be able to receive her VISA! We thought we'd need 2 days in Kiev and not be able to leave until Thursday...but our facilitator is dropping off our documents to the US embassy on Monday so they can start processing it! The US embassy says it SHOULD be ready Tuesday, of course she couldn't guarantee and says very rarely would it take another day. We are trying to work on our flight back. We want to book it for Wednesday but are only 99% sure her Visa will be done. We don't want to book for Thursday and have to stay another day if we don't need to, but if we book for Wednesday and then it's not ready we will have to hope we can change our ticket to Thursday and risk coming home even later....hmmmm....decisions!
This is complicated by the VOLCANO that has stopped ALL air travel over most of Europe. We fly through Frankfurt and right now that airport is closed. By the time we come home it SHOULD be cleared up, but it may be more difficult to book a flight home since all of these stranded travelers will have to push their tickets out and there will be more travelers than there will be seats. This is why we want to book our ticket TODAY and not wait. This is also why it makes it difficult because we have to decide TODAY if we want to book for Wednesday or Thursday. We are still waiting to hear back from our travel agent. I can see it now....we've been here 5 weeks and finally are allowed to come home with our baby and a stupid volcano stops us! I mean how many more mountains will we meet!? Hoping this is not a hurdle for us...God knows our legs are getting tired from jumping hudles! Prayers about our trip home would be greatly appreciated.
We visited Zoya this morning and she has a little cold. She seemed a little stuffy the past few days and then today she was wheezy and snotty (her nose not her attitude hehe). Hoping it clears up before we get on the plane with her. We forgot to put the camera card back in the camera so we couldn't take any pictures. We will take some more tonight. We took her on a walk outside...it was a little breezy and chilly but the sun came out and warmed things up a little. We weren't going to take her out but there was a grandfather there visiting his grandson and it was pretty crowded in our tiny room so we really had no other choice. We brought her inside and tried out her headphones. We bought some fisher price headphones for the plane ride since she liked the DVD player so much we thought we'd give it a try. You're not allowed to listen to a DVD player without headphones....so we tried them out. They are very durable and tune down the volume to an acceptable level for little ears. We will have to get pictures tonight because she looked so darn cute! Once she learned the music was coming out of them she had no problem at all and just kept them on her sweet little head! One of the nurses saw her and started laughing and speaking in Russian to the other nurses. A couple more came out and were admiring how cute she looked watching her "computer" as they called it, with her headphones on! We are finding that people have been so pleasantly surprised with how much Zoya is learning and doing in her little bit of time with us. When we took her to get her passport photo taken, she was waving to EVERYONE. Nobody here waves Hello, only Goodbye...but we taught her to wave Hello. When we see the other kids outside we always wave since we can't speak with them. She picked up on this quickly and now waves to EVERYONE she sees...so cute! Our facilitator was so amazed that she was doing this. Today at the orphanage when we said goodbye I blew Zoya a kiss and she blew a kiss back...we've been working on this each time we leave, but she hasn't done it until today! The caretaker was so impressed and went in and told all the other caretakers that Zoya was blowing kisses! She showed them how Zoya blows kisses...so cute. We were proud mama and papa when she did that! People here think that these children can't learn, so they don't give them any opportunities to learn. They don't teach them. They do everything for them and expect nothing of them. Of course they don't learn then! The other obvious factor is LOVE. It is amazing to see how much a child blossoms with some LOVE!! Oh we are so lucky to call this sweet little angel ours!
This is complicated by the VOLCANO that has stopped ALL air travel over most of Europe. We fly through Frankfurt and right now that airport is closed. By the time we come home it SHOULD be cleared up, but it may be more difficult to book a flight home since all of these stranded travelers will have to push their tickets out and there will be more travelers than there will be seats. This is why we want to book our ticket TODAY and not wait. This is also why it makes it difficult because we have to decide TODAY if we want to book for Wednesday or Thursday. We are still waiting to hear back from our travel agent. I can see it now....we've been here 5 weeks and finally are allowed to come home with our baby and a stupid volcano stops us! I mean how many more mountains will we meet!? Hoping this is not a hurdle for us...God knows our legs are getting tired from jumping hudles! Prayers about our trip home would be greatly appreciated.
We visited Zoya this morning and she has a little cold. She seemed a little stuffy the past few days and then today she was wheezy and snotty (her nose not her attitude hehe). Hoping it clears up before we get on the plane with her. We forgot to put the camera card back in the camera so we couldn't take any pictures. We will take some more tonight. We took her on a walk outside...it was a little breezy and chilly but the sun came out and warmed things up a little. We weren't going to take her out but there was a grandfather there visiting his grandson and it was pretty crowded in our tiny room so we really had no other choice. We brought her inside and tried out her headphones. We bought some fisher price headphones for the plane ride since she liked the DVD player so much we thought we'd give it a try. You're not allowed to listen to a DVD player without headphones....so we tried them out. They are very durable and tune down the volume to an acceptable level for little ears. We will have to get pictures tonight because she looked so darn cute! Once she learned the music was coming out of them she had no problem at all and just kept them on her sweet little head! One of the nurses saw her and started laughing and speaking in Russian to the other nurses. A couple more came out and were admiring how cute she looked watching her "computer" as they called it, with her headphones on! We are finding that people have been so pleasantly surprised with how much Zoya is learning and doing in her little bit of time with us. When we took her to get her passport photo taken, she was waving to EVERYONE. Nobody here waves Hello, only Goodbye...but we taught her to wave Hello. When we see the other kids outside we always wave since we can't speak with them. She picked up on this quickly and now waves to EVERYONE she sees...so cute! Our facilitator was so amazed that she was doing this. Today at the orphanage when we said goodbye I blew Zoya a kiss and she blew a kiss back...we've been working on this each time we leave, but she hasn't done it until today! The caretaker was so impressed and went in and told all the other caretakers that Zoya was blowing kisses! She showed them how Zoya blows kisses...so cute. We were proud mama and papa when she did that! People here think that these children can't learn, so they don't give them any opportunities to learn. They don't teach them. They do everything for them and expect nothing of them. Of course they don't learn then! The other obvious factor is LOVE. It is amazing to see how much a child blossoms with some LOVE!! Oh we are so lucky to call this sweet little angel ours!
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