Saturday, July 24, 2010

Zoya Makes the News!....and a rebuttal

Last Sunday, the Jamestown, NY Post Journal wrote a story about Zoya and HER SOON TO BE NEW FRIEND, LYLA They were already doing a story about Lyla, and then a friend that I went to High School with (who works for the newspaper) contacted me asking if they could include Zoya's story in the article. I said of course because any opportunity to put a spotlight on Reece's Rainbow and all the waiting children is much needed and appreciated! Zoya and Lyla's stories made the front page! I scanned the article below so you could see what it looked like....very nicely designed! They are too small to read, so you can go HERE to read the entire article which was very nicely written.  I really hope that maybe one person who read this article decides to google Reece's Rainbow and maybe one child's life will be changed. We are so proud that Zoya's story can be an example to others to prove that EVERY. SINGLE. CHILD. deserves a chance at life and of course deserves a chance to be loved and a family to call their own.



Also, please click on "comments" after the article and you can see that, as always, some people just don't understand the urgency of these DYING, abused, neglected children. Some people continue to be negative toward international adoption. I could say some really nasty things back, or I can pray for those people. Obviously these people do not know OUR GOD and know that all children, regardless of where they had the fortune or misfortune of being born, are children of God and worth our time, support, love, and most certainly a chance at LIFE!

Although I will try my hardest to avoid being nasty here, I can't leave this blog post without stating my opinion on this matter. I will try to do so with tact.  So here goes....Shame on those who are so selfish that they can't see past "America." It isn't all about "us." This is why foreigners have a negative opinion of Americans...are we really so selfish that we can't look past our own backyard to help children who are literally living the most miserable life you could imagine? Wake up people...I know foster care is not perfect, I know it has a long way to go to serve the children better, but it is most certainly NOT what children in orphanages are facing!  I have to remember that these people making these comments have not had the opportunity, although sickening and heart-breaking, to see first hand what these children in orphanages face. I wish I could elaborate more on this but I simply cannot do so publicly. I'm not saying children in America are any less worthy, but the situation internationally is more urgent. It is a LIFE OR DEATH MATTER and the clock is ticking for many of these children...these children WILL DIE if people don't step up to help.

Someone commented,
"I will also say there are hundreds of thousands American children in orphanages that would love a new home too. I see people going to Europe and Africa and now Haiti to adopt children, it breaks my heart there are American Children that need homes, wake up and smell the coffee folks."
To this person, I ask, where are the orphanages in America? Yes we have group homes and such but you can hardly call them orphanages! You probably wouldn't know the difference though if you've never looked into the condition of orphanages in other countries.  I also ask of you, what are YOU doing to help these children in America? Just wondering.  Another comment reads,
"It never ceases to amaze me that there are so many children in the USA that need ministering to, whether it be adoption, foster care, mentoring...it's the adotions from Americans to a baby from Europe that gets headlines. Kudos to the local media for over sensationalizing this. It's a no wonder we can't get people to buy things locally, if they aren't able to adopt locally.
To this person I say, you must be assuming that those of us who adopt internationally think children in America are worthless and that we couldn't care less about then. You must assume that we don't do anything to help children in America. Well maybe you know what they say about assuming....anyways...I have never met one single person who has adopted internationally who is not, in some way, be it "adoption, foster care, mentoring" helped children in America as well. As far as over sensationalizing this, it makes me sick to my stomach to read these words. CHILDREN ARE DYING, I don't think that can be "oversensationalized" no matter how hard anyone tries. To those that made negative comments, I pray that some day God will give you His eyes for just a second.  I pray that you will some day realize the urgency these children face.

Secondly, the people making comments on the article must not have read the entire thing because the Spitz family HAS been very involved in domestic foster care and adoption. As for our family....how dare someone question what God has led us to do? God did not lead us to domestic adoption. He very clearly led us straight to Zoya, who JUST HAPPENED to live some place other than America.  

Third, (a statement to those with negative comments) many of these children in foreign countries have ZERO chance of being adopted by parents from their own country because their special needs are viewed as a curse or a punishment, or simply just not socially acceptable. Without people coming from other countries to adopt them, what do you suppose the better alternative would be? To just let them die? Because, that is the ONLY other alternative at this current time. So you cannot make the statements you did without also believing in your heart that these children have no value. If that is the case, then there is probably nothing I can say that will ever open your eyes.

There were also comments in support of international adoption, which were nice to read. One comment in particular also raises some valid points,

"Well first of all I want to address those of you like "recycler" who seem to find it necessary to trash those individuals who adopt internationally. SO many think that children here in the U.S. are just sitting on a street corner waiting for couples to drive by and pick them up for adoption. Quite the contrary!! As a former foster parent for several years who was willing to adopt special needs children, there never seemed to be the child the system thought suited our family. We have adopted internationally (3 special needs children) and will NEVER regret nor apologize for saving the lives of these beautiful angels who faced certain (and this is documented) death. While it is said there are so many children who are in the foster care system here, it is not SOLELY because they were not wanted, like special needs orphans are detested in Europe, but because their parents were screw ups and either hurt the children or are just complete morons."

Another comment which brought me to tears because I know other people "get it" and we are not in this fight alone:
"I speak from experience, not from stupidity like some others, that adoption of a child, whether domestic or international, is a blessing. Blessings don't come with labels stating where they happened. No, they come with love, encouragement, experiences, and life. That is what should matter and what society needs to address first, not which piece of soil it happens on. Congratulations to these two families who have acted upon their faith and hearts to give these beautiful children a forever family!"

I'm not trying to start a debate here, really, this is nothing new in the adoption discussions.  I'm pretty sure this post is being read mostly by people who feel the same exact way as I do.  I am thankful for this blog that I can sometimes just vent to an audience who has the same convictions and passions in their hearts.  I know this post won't change the negative minds.  However, I will fight tooth and nail on behalf of the voiceless children who cannot fight for themselves, who don't stand a chance. I will stand up and speak on their behalf and take the time to give a rebuttal letting these people with negative comments know that there ARE people in this world who value life-and by that I mean every life regardless of circumstances.  There is nothing anyone can say that would make me feel any differently. In the end, I work to please one audience and it is certainly not other people on this earth!

17 comments:

  1. It's so sad that some people don't have a global mentality and can't see that we who are so rich were blessed by God so we can help to care for many in the world who are so poor. Poverty for most Americans is very different from poverty for most of the "two thirds world" who live with no clean water, medical care or housing.

    In my work with Operation Christmas Child I've sometimes face the same complaint, "Why aren't you doing something for our kids in America." Well, I do give to charities to serve American kids. And I don't think most kids in America, ever poor ones, would be very excited to receive a shoebox with soap, toothpaste, toothbrush, crayons, pens, pencils, and a few little toys.

    I so understand what you're saying, Sarah. If our media would publicize the plight of those around the world more often maybe it would make a difference. Maybe.

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  2. I pray daily for your family and for Zoya. The change that you have seen in Zoya in a few short weeks is nothing short of a "GOD thing"! I follow many families blogs that have adopted chilidren off of reeces rainbow, and I am so encouraged to hear true testiments of families following GODs will! I hope you realize how many people are behind you and how much you are helping to let GODs will heard in other peoples lives regarding these children!

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  3. Hey, Sarah, I just wanted to encourage you and to tell you, that you should not waste your energy, emotions and thoughts on those who have no clue of what love really is. I always wanted to adopt a child, but after my son was born (with DS) I clearly realized that I specifically want a special-needs child for adoption. I started a discussion in one of the forums, asking for more information, more experience if there are parents alike. After reading the comments, I was shocked and devastated - am I living among such kind of people? What is it in their heads? So you say that I'm stupid or wanting the adoption grant?? Gosh!... No. No more discussions. My life is for me. You live your own, please. :) Be strong! As we say in my country "Give a way to a stupid". Give my kiss for Zoya!

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  4. You have changed a life, and as a result other lives are being changed by your example. From the US, to Switzerland, and Eastern Europe, lives are being prayed for, lives are being looked at on Reece's Rainbow, and lives are being changed forever. Not only is Zoya a ROCk STAR, but the Basilles and Lyla's forever family are Rock Stars because they followed their heart, they followed their nudging to make a difference. You walked the walk!

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  5. I see that response a lot on stories of international adoption. I would like to say that we did try to pursue domestic adoption. We were told our family was too big, they prefer to place children who didn't already have children. We tried calling about a boy who was on the waiting child list, in U.S. foster care. He was older, black, AND special needs, not to mention male. 4 strikes against him. I was shocked when they told me that they had had over 100 inquiries about him but that I was welcome to fill out an application and initiate the adoption paperwork in case we were the lucky family to be picked. Really? Something tells me people are misinformed about the numbers of waiting children compared to the numbers of people trying to adopt domestically. Every child deserves a family no matter where they reside. Great article BTW.

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  6. Sarah,

    It makes me very sad that some people are so close minded. Unfortunately that will never go away. But you are an incredibly strong person and you and Shawn have done an amazing thing. Who cares where the child is from? You helped a child and that's all that matters. Zoya is going to have an amazing life with you both! Everything happens for a reason...and whatever that reason was...it led you guys to Zoya.

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  7. Sarah I just have to tell you zoya is my hero I along with my two oldest girls ages 15 and 13 can not go a day without checking your blog. we were with you for your eentire journey to adopt her. and so many times when I felt down and things seemed too hard with our adoption I would go to angel eyes and you would have posted something that lifted me up touched my heart and gave me the strength to keep trekking on, I see zoyas smile and it brings me strength, I see how far she has come from that exciting first day you met her with that blank look in her eyes. to the sparkle of life she has now. and it makes me want to do anything to bring home Josiah. Thank you Sarah for sharing zoya with us, we will always have her in our hearts.

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  8. Sarah I just have to tell you zoya is my hero I along with my two oldest girls ages 15 and 13 can not go a day without checking your blog. we were with you for your eentire journey to adopt her. and so many times when I felt down and things seemed too hard with our adoption I would go to angel eyes and you would have posted something that lifted me up touched my heart and gave me the strength to keep trekking on, I see zoyas smile and it brings me strength, I see how far she has come from that exciting first day you met her with that blank look in her eyes. to the sparkle of life she has now. and it makes me want to do anything to bring home Josiah. Thank you Sarah for sharing zoya with us, we will always have her in our hearts.

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  9. I hate that our society is so barbaric. I tried to adopt internationally I thought it was what God wanted. I yearned to save an orphan that would die otherwise, but God sent me to Texas. God sent us to our child not a child.

    You are right Sarah, how dare anyone say one thing about where God led you, unfortunately God is taboo in this country. I imagine you would get a more positive reaction had you said buddah or islam led you to adopt. Sad, but true.

    When will our country learn, will it take another flood?
    Come Lord Jesus Come!

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  10. Australian here Quote “Shame on those who are so selfish that they can't see past "America." It isn't all about "us." This is why foreigners have a negative opinion of Americans...are we really so selfish that we can't look past our own backyard to help children who are literally living the most miserable life you could imagine? Wake up people”
    You know what, you might have a few people that are against international adoption, but our County is, so don’t think we are all sitting back thinking you Americans are selfish. Our Medicare system, is in the way here. People with disabilities aren’t aloud residency here in Australia they are seen as a burden to our health system
    Big news last year a Doctor from overseas was asked to come here (we don’t have many health professionals) his teen son has Ds, well when he applied to stay on in our country he was refused.
    It’s’ the done thing, he was able to appeal and won, but he had to prove he could fully support his son and would never need our Medicare system. But adoption is completely out if the child has a disability. Even if you have some people that are against it over there you have the backing of your country and that is something to be proud of. hugs

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  11. Cathy,
    I agree that our government in the US is in support of people with differences and disabilities, which is more than most countries can say. Yes we have laws in place that protect the rights of all, disabilities included and that is how it should be. What I was speaking on was not our government but our individual members of society who feel that others should not deserve the same rights simply because they were not fortunate enough to be born in America. It is sad and embarassing that some people make stupid comments that make Americans look self-centered because a lot of us do care about the rest of the world. That's what I was trying to say.

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  12. Well, having worked as an attorney in the US foster care system, I had to respond to the comments online.

    There is never a shortage of ignorance on this subject, is there?

    Never doubt that God intended for Zoya to be yours. He knew you'd travel around the world to rescue her and bring her into your hearts and your home.

    Some people could use a filter for their mouth..... I swear the older I get, the less tolerance I have for ignorant people.

    And yes, all you can do is pray for these people. Pray that some day they will get it.....

    Ashli
    www.everlyngrace.com

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  13. What a lovely article, Sarah, that shows your beautiful heart and Zoya's beautiful spirit (and smile!).

    I hate even reading the "comments" section of articles. I'm glad you had so many positive responses!

    I appreciated, too, that you reminded the readers that tragically, many children with Down syndrome are not allowed to live until they could be adopted here in the U.S.

    Thinking of you!

    JTHTL

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  14. It is everywhere the SAME on this planet: there are ignorant people, they just do NOT get it!!! Even if I know this, it is still hard for me to accept, I just often can not believe it...I could write you tons of storys how we get "attacked" when we joined the ministry to serve the mothers and babys years ago in fancy Switzerland, where many do not even know, that "widows" and "orphans" still excist here...But that will never ever stop us from advocate for the voiceless here...
    How you wrote: we serve GOD and we do not work to please ignorant people!! Your answer on your blog is pefect, you did an awsome job responding the nasty comments...Thankyou!!
    In German we say: wenn wir uns einsetzen setzen wir uns aus...no matter the cost...!!
    We KEEP GOING, don t we?!!
    Christina

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  15. I have never & will never understand those people who can actually find a criticism in adopting a child. A child is a child, is a child, is a child...doesn't matter where from. I always think that even Mother Teresa got criticism - can you imagine? You scoop the poorest of the poor off the street & care for them & someone can find something negative to say about that! It's crazy making.

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  16. Sarah,
    I absolutely agree with everything you said. I have heard negative comments along the way through our process of adopting Mina and it truly breaks my heart. We must go where God leads us.... wherever that may be. God didn't go make disciples just of your area He said go into ALL THE WORLD! He didn't so care for only the orphans in our country we are called to care for the orphans and weak regardless of where they are born. I couldn't imagine having been born in any of these children's lives and positions. It breaks my heart! I am so thankful that God led us to Mina and praise Him that he put a burden on our heart for us to follow hard after Him to do something crazy & abnormal to be blessed with such an amazing gift of Life & our precious new girl Mina!

    Blessings to your family!!! Melissa

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