Saturday, March 10, 2012
Mila's Birth Day
Tomorrow marks a day that we, as Mila's family, will celebrate...the day this glorious child was brought into the world. But what about her biological family? Surely they will not celebrate the day that likely brought so much distress to them. I have no idea how the day went, or what kind of pain and anguish her biological family went through when they learned of her diagnosis, or what emotions they may be experiencing at this very moment. Did they learn she had Down Syndrome the moment she was born? Or did they hold her and love her for moments, hours, or days before they learned of her diagnosis? Did they grieve the loss of their daughter, knowing they live in a society where she isn't welcome, wanted, or valued? Did they cry thinking of how their precious child would have no opportunities in their country? Did they cry when they chose to sign their names on the line terminating their rights as her parents? Are they thinking of her, wondering if she is alive or dead, today, the day before her first birthday? Are they wondering how big she is by now or what her personality is like? Do they let their mind's wonder what it would be like had they chosen to raise her? How can they live with not knowing? Are they at peace or are they being tormented by their decision? Did they walk away in disgust, asking "why me?" and never look back?
I'll never know the answers to these questions, this side of heaven anyways. But, how can we celebrate Mila's birthday without giving thought to her beginning...after all that is what a birthday is all about. For our girls, birthdays have come to mean more than a celebration of their beginning...more than looking back to the day they were born (simply because we can't see that day, try as we might). For our girls, birthdays are a celebration of the life they've lived thus far, the growth and spirit they've managed to pack into a year. For Mila, this birthday is a celebration of survival through her first tumultuous year of life. There is so much to celebrate tomorrow. Mila's life is a miracle. We don't take any one of her days for granted knowing so easily what could have, might have been. But her life was God's plan from the beginning of time and tomorrow that is what we will celebrate!