Thursday, June 23, 2011

Zoya's First (unofficial) Day of Preschool

Okay so dropping her off was maybe the hardest thing I've EVER done...I'm talking harder than our entire adoption process (okay so maybe I'm being dramatic but I do feel like I left a piece of my heart in that preschool room this morning). Zoya did fabulous. She woke up and I told her she was going to school! She clapped and patted her chest and said "Zoya" (more like row-row these days lol), then signed "school" and then signed "home." If you're a Signing Time fan like us and you've seen the "School" episode they always sing a song about going home at the end so I was thrilled to know in my heart she knew she'd be coming back home and I wouldn't be leaving her there forever. Since this is the first time that we've left her somewhere else, I worry that she will be scared and wonder why I left. Hopefully she understands she will be coming home...I think she does. Her teacher's name is Miss Anna and Zoya signed "banana" every time I told her she was going to see miss Anna.  I guess Zoya has already made up a sign for her teacher haha.

Anyways, I put her backpack on (which only had her happy pillow-just in case-a change of clothes, a few pull-ups, and her snack) and she just about fell over it was so heavy for her! LOL. I was shaking as I pulled out of the driveway and kept thinking "Is it too late to un-sign-her-up for preschool???" We got to the school and Zoya squealed with excitement...she has been to school many times to visit me and a couple times for preschool visits-and she loves it there. She walked into her classroom all by herself like a big girl while I snuck some photos and tried not to cry. I walked in with her gave her a hug and kiss and reminded her to be a good girl so she can watch Elmo. There were 4 boys playing already and she joined right in. I stepped out to sign her in and she followed me out. Her teacher told her to say goodbye to mama. She said bye and waved, blew a kiss, walked into the classroom and closed the door behind her! I'd say she was ready!!

Tears welled up in my eyes as I walked away. I tried to hold it together until I got out of the building and was mostly successful with the exception of one little tear that just couldn't wait. I called Shawn when I got in the car and cried :( I cried the whole 2 minute drive home and I'm still crying now!  What is wrong with me???Looking back from when we brought Zoya home, she is a different child. She has overcome so much. She is so strong and brave to have been through all she has and still have such a love for life. So being able to get to this point is a huge milestone for her. From belly crawling and being ignored in the orphanage to walking proudly all by herself into a preschool classroom where she will learn and make friends....well it just seems impossible to have come this far in such a short amount of time!

And can it seriously only be 9:37?? I feel like I dropped her off hours ago! Watching the clock until noon!  I hope she is doing okay!!

It is very strange sitting here in this quiet house all alone. I haven't been alone in this house for over 10 minutes since Zoya came home! What in the world did I do with all my time before Zoya???? I guess I will go vacuum...2 hours and 16 minutes until pick up!!!


  1. Oh my, at 9:03 this morning I sat there thinking of how you must be doing and the feelings you would be going thru pride, excitement, nervousness, dread but mostly joy that your little girl is taking that first step of independence.

    Woohoo Zoya. I love your backpack! You wear it like a champ!

    Oh Momma, passing the tissue to you. She's doing fine, no phone calls and no urgent texts from the school you're doing awesome. The best part is that you made it all the way home and didn't turn around to sit in the parking lot like someone I know probably would have by now. hehehehe

    So proud of your little lady and all her accomplishments. She's doing awesome!

  2. Just want to say - Love You Girl!!!! The thought of you vacuuming for 2 hours is a bit frightening but what ever it takes to pass the time!!! LOL!!! For real - I do understand how hard it is and I do promise each time will get a little easier!!! Thinking of YOU!!!!

  3. Oh my gosh, she is SO CUTE! Thank you for your comment- I'm so gad it led me to your blog! So good to know that you also go through things as an adoptive parent too, and that even people who "signed up" for the special needs card still have those moments. Thank you for sharing! :)

  4. Nothing is wrong with you, dear Friend!!! You are a MAMMA, that is all!!! and you are an AWESOME MAMMA to BEAUTIFUL ZOYA-GIRL!!! You should have seen me....oioioi!! The tears come back immediately, only thinking of the first Kindergarten day for Johanna, and this is 16 years ago...:):)
    And by the way: vacuum and cleaning is a good idea spending the time till preschool is over will have a spotless home the next coming weeks...:):)!
    Beautiful pics of your BIG SWEET PRESCOOL GIRL!!!

  5. I remember when Elias began also "un-oficially preschool" 3 years ago, he has been home with me all the time and living him there was... very emotional.... he didnt care for mommy lol, he went in and played and we didnt had any problem with crying, well at least not with him haha.
    i also thought i had too much free time but now i think isnt enough lol.