Since the day we committed to adopt Zoya, I've imagined the MOMENT we get to meet her. What will that be like? I don't think we can even try to guess what that day might be like. Will it be an instant connection? Will it feel like we are hugging someone else's child? Will she be scared of us? Will our emotions be happy, scared, excited, worried? Will we cry when we see her and get to hold her? Will they bring her to us or us to her? What will she be wearing? What will we do other than hold her and stare into her eyes? This moment is by far the most suspensful and dreamed of day that Shawn and I will probably ever experience. We have been trying to imagine what that day will be like for months on end. Recently we've been able to read other families' blogs about their first meeting with their children. We're not expecting an instant connection, but we're praying that God will prepare Zoya's heart to meet her forever mama and daddy, and prepare our hearts to meet her.
We are praying that she will bond with us quickly and have little difficulty leaving the only life she has ever known. As easy as it sounds to leave a life where she isn't getting everything she needs, it is still going to be scary for her to leave the only place she has ever known. I remember reading a blog (can't remember where now) but it told a story of a little boy who had lived in an orphanage his whole life. He was older than Zoya and had probably dreamed of his family coming to rescue him and take him to America. When he walked out of the orphanage with his new family and got into the car, he asked, "Is this America?" The orphanage and its four walls were the only place this boy ever experienced, just like Zoya. She has no idea life could exist under any other circumstances than the ones she is currently experiencing.
As the time to meet Zoya gets closer, we dream more and more about that day. It seems as if it will never come. We will try to soak in every single second of that first meeting because some day far into the future that meeting will probably seem like it was only a dream or a movie we watched. I want to remember every single part of that day as vividly as I can for as long as I live. Her expression, the feel of her skin, the look on Shawn's face, our shaking hands, the tears we will likely cry, how scared we will probably be, the butterflies we will have in our stomachs, our trembling knees, our hearts feeling like they might bubble over, and the realization that this leap of faith was the most exciting and fulfilling journey we have ever taken.