The Rocking Chair Test

Some time ago I came across a quote about making difficult decisions.  I never remembered where I had read it, but it has always stuck with me.  I have often used the rocking chair test when a big decision is at bay.  While I was gathering books in our basement to sell on amazon, I found the book that has the quote.

"My best advice to you is

to give it "the rocking chair test."

Imagine that you're ninety years

old, sitting on the porch and

rocking in your chair as you

reflect back on your life.  Will

you regret dong it? Pick the decision you

can live with, and have no regrets

in your choice.  Believe in the

choices you make."

~Anne Larnella Hood

In our initial discussions about adopting a child with down syndrome, I used this test.  I pictured myself as an old woman sitting on the porch next to Shawn in our rocking chairs.  I pictured the alternate path we could have chosen--not to adopt.  Every time I thought about not adopting this special child, I could see my own 90 year old face painted with regret, pain, and loss for not having had the courage and faith to take this risk.   Every time we thought about how things would probably be easier if we didn't adopt, I immediately felt a sense of profound sadness.  Both of us knew that once our eyes were opened to this terrible orphan crisis, we could not simply change our minds and turn away without a sense of regret and longing.  In our hearts, long before we verbalized the words, we had committed to adopt a child who would otherwise be left to live and die in an orphanage or mental institution without ever knowing the love of a family.  Suddenly, it turned from asking ourselves, "will we regret doing this?" to "will we regret not doing this?" And the answer was clearly "yes."

The rocking chair will be here before we know it, so until then, live your life in a way that when you get to the rocking chair, you don't ask yourself "why didn't I...."