Friday, August 20, 2010

Every Blog Has Them

Negative comments that is.  I have been saddened recently by comments left on this blog.  I have also read many negative comments on other blogs and feel saddened that "freedom of speech" can be so hurtful to others.  I understand by making this blog public that I open myself up to what other people think and feel about my life and my decisions.  However, I still can't believe some people feel so free to criticize when they haven't even taken the time to introduce themselves to me publically, in real life, or even just in an email.  Some of those comments I've simply chosen not to publish because I feel they don't deserve my time or energy. I have often thought of making this blog private again, but then God reminds me how many families have stopped by and read this blog and continued on their own journey to adopting a child with special needs.  He reminds me that my words are words that others need to hear, so I refrain from making this blog private in hopes that others will see our beautiful journey and decide to help orphans with special needs in some way. I will however, be more careful about exactly which experiences I share on this blog.

One comment I'd like to comment on, and I have to do so publically since you "Annonymous Becky" didn't leave your email for me to write back is about Zoya getting her ears pierced. Basically the comment said I am contradicting myself by saying all I want is for Zoya to be happy and then I go and inflict pain on her by piercing her ears.  I'm glad I didn't share the post about the recent tattoo I allowed Zoya to get (sarcasm noted). Why does a two year old need pierced ears you ask? Well they don't. It's a personal decision and if it's not your decision thats fine because she is not your daughter (thank goodness). And apparently it didn't bother her that much because as you read she didn't flinch. Not that I have to justify my parenting decisions to someone I don't even know.  But I have a feeling you are a perfect parent, just by your comment I can tell.  The point of this post is not to start a debate on who thinks little kids should get their ears pierced.  And to respond to your comment, "It is HER body you have changed" yes you are correct, I have taken a medically diagnosed malnurished child from a frail weak unhealthy state to a healthy, thriving, HAPPY AS CAN BE little girl. So my advice to you is to go read another blog, because you're obviously missing the point of this one!


  1. Hang in there - We've gotten comments in languages not our own! LOL! Screen comments, delete the obnoxious and the unreadable and let the rest of us ENJOY your sweet girl and her pretty little pierced ears... Nose rings.. NO!

    One way to combat the issue... Put a message in your comment box that states you only want KIND WORDS AND ENCOURAGING words spoken... You can do that from your dashboard. It may help some..

  2. Awww Sarah,
    don't pay any attention to the negative comments! Satan always finds a way to rear his ugly head! I think you are doing an amazing job with Zoya!!! I too had my daughters ears pierced at the age of 2 and I have no regrets and I don't need to justify that decision to anyone and neither do you :-)
    You just keep on doing what you are doing and Zoya will grow up healthy ,happy ,beautiful and loved.
    I'm glad you are not going private, my daughter and I both look forward to reading updates on Zoya!
    Becky (the good one, here is my e-mail to prove it LOL )

  3. We would not be adopting Lyla if it wasn't for your blog!!!! I know with all my heart that you, Shawn and Zoya will help many orphans find a forever family!!! I always feel so blessed to read each post!!!

    Thank GOD for the Basile family! Thank GOD they are willing to share their Amazing journey with all of us! Thank GOD they led us to our daughter, Lyla!!!!!

  4. Haters suck. Ignore them. They're too cowardly to leave their names, they're not worth your time!

    That said, I have a great design for Zoya's next tattoo! :-P

  5. Sarah, don't let the negative comments get you down. My mum pierced my ears when I was just a few months old, I don't remember it at all, and I'm so thankful I had them done. I grew up with many friends who always wanted their ears pierced but were terrified of the piercing process! Luckily, I don't even have a memory of it! Also I have never met a girl who would profess to not wanting her ears pierced. But who cares anyway? You have done so much for Zoya, putting her in a new environment, providing therapy and love for her which is more than most people can say they have impacted on a child. You are a WONDERFUL mother and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Peace to you and Zoya~

  6. Sarah, don't let the negative comments get you down. My mum pierced my ears when I was just a few months old, I don't remember it at all, and I'm so thankful I had them done. I grew up with many friends who always wanted their ears pierced but were terrified of the piercing process! Luckily, I don't even have a memory of it! Also I have never met a girl who would profess to not wanting her ears pierced. But who cares anyway? You have done so much for Zoya, putting her in a new environment, providing therapy and love for her which is more than most people can say they have impacted on a child. You are a WONDERFUL mother and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Peace to you and Zoya~

  7. I just wanted to say thank you for blogging. I know there will always be ugly people to put up with. But there are very, very few blogs that describe the experience of raising an internationally adopted toddler with down syndrome. You help me to visualize what my family's life would be like if we took this path. And after reading for months, I just adore Zoya. I smile every time a new post comes up in my blog reader.

  8. I am happy that my mother taught me "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all". Also the words of Thumpers mom!

    Unfortunately for you, with the ability to be anonymous , comes the feeling that it's OK to pass judgement on those they don't know.

    I have heard of families who get earrings in babies that are only a few months old. It could be tradition, religious, just personal preference. She looks absolutely adorable with those earrings, and I bet she knows it!

    good luck next week!

    Sue and Kevin

  9. BAM! WHAPPA! LMAO here in Virginia!

    Ok, you know I comment alot and have emailed you personally, aka Teri, so I feel I can post or comment.

    I had to laugh out loud when I read the tattoo comment. Only because #1 I noticed that both you and Shawn sport tattoos yourself and #2 you made me laugh so hard I was crying at so many of your posts on descriptions of Ms. Zoya!

    So... I was one of those mothers that when my daughter was born I couldn't do the pierced ears for several reasons: #1 I'm a WUSS! #2 I had mine done way back in the day with self piercing earrings so my holes aren't totally straight and it hurts me to put in earrings so I can't do it for someone else so we opted to wait and give her the opportunity to decide if she wanted to, we started this process on her birthday at age 5 and low/behold every year we would walk in and walk back out until she was age 12!!!! LOL Now she's 23 with a daughter of her own that was a preemie so she opted not to do the pierced ears due to that fact. She is not Ms. Zoya's age and like I stated before I cannot even imagine taking this girl in because she is well hard to put into words but plainly *will let you know exactly what she thinks*. Was that nicely put enough?

    My daughter, Izzy and I took a moment to look back thru your blog this morning, laughing, crying and just admiring all that has transpired in such a short time that she's been with you. One thing that we noticed is that Ms. Zoya in the pics LOVES to be touching either you or Shawn or BOTH of you. It is clear that there is a very strong loving bond between the three of you and almost instantly you could see it in the orphanage videos.

    We (my daughter and I) think that Zoya was so meant to be with you two. She has Shawn's smile, your nose and your eyes. She's a beauty, inside and out! She just fits so well. Zoya is definitely loved, cared for VERY WELL and simply adored for anyone to think that there is anything less than that is just not reading the blog for what it is. A blog that demonstrates that love has no boundaries, no limitations, no restrictions just pure love......

    This is for you, I know I could have just emailed but figure that you will be loaded with comments about this post anyways that you'll be reading.

    We are forever thankful that you allow us a small glimpse into your family life with Zoya thru this blog.

    My daughter who hopes to adopt one day when she meets all the requirements, financial/age etc. has been met with some very horrible comments when she tells people of her desire. I was amazed to find that most of her coworkers have the impression that people with DS bring up such negative comments to her. Your blog is a testament to those individuals who think that there are only "cannots" w/DS and not what "can" be achieved.

    I'm so thrilled to see all the milestones that Ms. Zoya is meeting and surpassing.

    So to you my friend, keep on loving that girl.

    Continually in our thoughts and prayers,

  10. I think you are doing a GREAT job with Zoya! I love looking at your blog b/c she is so beautiful that every time I see her I have to smile. Don't let these strangers stress you out. They are in the wrong by passing judgement. Anyone can see by your posts that she is a happy little girl in your family!

  11. Good for you! What a silly thing to write a negative comment about...and what a poor comparison, that person obviously doesn't get the whole picture. Your daughter is beautiful and I am so happy for your family!

  12. Someone left a similar comment when I got Ava's ears pierced. My BALD little girl who was repeatedly mistaken for a boy, I decided to make life a little easier for her by getting her ears pierced. Now I have Zoya and she is fascinated with my earrings, and her sister's...Guess what. We're doing it again. Don't fret. You're fine....

  13. I just wanted to let you know that I stumbled upon your blog on Reece's Rainbow and it has been very inspiring to me! As someone who is in college pursuing a degree in special education, and also someone who hopes to adopt a special needs child in the future, I find your blog VERY HELPFUL! :) I love that you are very honest about all of the challenges that you face with Zoya. Your strong faith is very evident in your posts! I hope that the negative comments from some very ignorant people will not cause you to make your blog private - there are some of us out there who are very inspired by little miss Zoya!

  14. I am again and again suprised, what kind of people exist on this planet...I will never get it...
    I am sooooooooooooooooooooooo glad and happy that you keep posting!!!
    And again I thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing your blessed and meaningfull familylife so authentic and honest with us!!!
    You did and you will continue to INDEED make a DIFFERENCE for many orphans and their new parents! GOD did ALREADY and will use your witness adopting BEAUTIFUL ZOYA-ANGEL to inspire many more families in the future to follow GODs call caring for orphans and children with designer genes :).. I believe devoutly!!
    And to let my sarcasm out here:(I hope you do not mind...)I look forward to read about Zoyas tatoos, nose rings, punkhairstyle,
    colored hair, etc...:)
    As always, BE BLESSED!!

  15. Wow, some people really need a life don't they!! They must not know too much about DS and their high pain tolerance, Zoya probably didn't feel a thing!

  16. I'm another mum that just couldn't do the ear piercing. I wouldn't post that normaly to your wall or attact you for your choice i'd just not post. I'm not a perfect mum but would never could never do that to a child. not sure why someone would bother posting ot you about it after teh fact though.

  17. You can't please all of the people all of the time. Enjoy your blessing.

  18. Oh my dear Sarah, I do so hope you don't begin to "edit" your postings for fear of negative comments. Such pleasure and inspiration come to us who look forward to your family's travels w/ precious Zoya! This is a story of her life and experiences and yours as well as a first time mama who, in my opinion, is doing wonderfully! Jesus certainly stepped on many toes and was quite unpopular with some of His decisions, so remember: If someone want's to not agree with pretty sparkly earrings on a pretty sparkly face, then ok! I guess Zoya won't be getting any earrings from that person for her birthday! My point is this dear. Keep following your heart, your mama's instinct and your sound judgement and don't take other's criticisms to heart. You are not taking a public poll, but sharing a wonderful gift with all of us who are fortunate enough to have found you and the joy you are giving to us! Love to you all!!, Mona

  19. Please don't go private and take that beautiful face away from all the world to see. I LOVE your blog and read it daily. You are truly an inspiration to me. Oh and I am such a mean mommy I pierced my daughters ears at age 1.

  20. I follow your blog everyday, and I don't even have any children! I follow a lot of blogs that are public on Reece's Rainbow because I believe in people like you and your husband who want to bring life to special needs kids who don't have it already. I am an interpreter for the Deaf, and I work with special needs kids everyday in the educational system. They are miracles, they are full of joy, and they are priceless. In fact, a lot of people could learn from them, the lesson of being everything you can with everything God has given you. God made you as you are in order to use you as He planned...and in my opinion, YOU AND YOUR FAMILY ROCK!!!!! I have been struggling with negative people in my life recently, and reading this post is just another testament from God to ignore the negative and grow stronger in the positive! Thank you so much for keeping this blog public so that those of us with hearts and souls can bathe in the happy that your family shares. GOD BLESS YOU!!

  21. You can't always please everyone but I still think our blogs are a wonderful way to showcase our awesome kids. BTW, I found you on RR too.