Today marks FOUR months that Zoya has been home! That is almost half of a year and when I say it like that it sounds so long! Things finally seem to be settling into a nice routine just in time for me to return to work full time! Go figure. We will find our new routine though and I'm sure there will be some tears (on my part of course) with leaving my precious angel but she is in awesome hands in her own home environment which will be just wonderful for her!
4 months home and Zoya is now starting to have some separation anxiety which is normal and makes me happy because that means she realizes we are her momma and daddy (which she has realized for some time) but I think she is finally understanding exactly what that means. She has started to get confused with transitions of one or both of us leaving or visitors leaving. She is always happy to hug visitors goodbye but does it very quickly then pushes away and reaches out for me with eyes saying "you're staying right?" When she gets upset she seeks out our comfort on a more consistent basis now and just recently she hurt herself and started bawling. How it hurt my heart to see but also made my heart so happy because that is a big deal for a kid who learned to suck up her pain and not cry because she learned nobody would come to comfort her anyways. Little victories such as this remind me that every day is one day further away from that terrible life she knew for far too long.
4 months home and to me it finally feels like she has ALWAYS been my daughter. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God planned for us to be her parents before she was ever conceived. For some reason, I question--but with increasing peace, is why she had to spend those 22 months without us. Maybe we just weren't ready for each other yet. I will never know, but I will rest in the fact that God knows and this was His perfect plan for our family even if I don't get it. I have a peace that through those 22 months she was NOT alone. Yes in many ways she was alone and never had anyone to physically hold her and touch her and show love to her, but I also have a peace that God was there with her and sent people to her that could take care of her until we got there. And although it wasn't the ideal situation, she had her basic needs mostly met while she rested in the palm of God's hand waiting for us to get there. Feeling all of this with such peace in my heart makes my WAITING FOR THE EGG TO HATCH dream make even more sense!
So 4 months home, I thought we would mark the day by this special shirt I found for Zoya at old navy:
FREE AS A BIRD!
More to come all about Zoya's readoption ceremony and also how she met her "end of the summer goal" we had set!! I also plan on doing a question and answer post soon as I have a few questions from readers that I've been sitting on for a while! So if there is something you're wondering....ask away!